'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS'
'A Jack Broder Production'
Directed By; Michael A. Hoey
Produced By; George Edwards
Starring; MAMIE VAN DOREN & Anthony Eisley & their Co-Stars; Bill Gray,
Bobby Van, Pamela Mason, etc. Run Time;87 Min.
Based On A Novel By; Murry Leinster.
From; CHEEZY FILMS
DVD 1966 & Now Streaming on 'TUBI' and on 'You-Tube' as well.
No photo description available.
HELLO my little 'NOVEMBER IS HERE', 'Spider-Bites'!
DITA DIRT NAP here again directing traffic here at my
'Horror/Cult Drive-In' on a night in November with my umm, uh, big, head lights,
showing people where they can 'SHOVE-IT', um, I mean 'PARK-IT', for Tonight's
Picture at the 'Drive-In' with; 'THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS'! Starring
Sex-Kitten MAMIE VAN DOREN who is Still going strong and out and about at almost
95 years old, Hon! BTW; She has an upcoming Documentary coming out that DITA
will for sure be Reviewing for u as soon as it comes out. See the Trailer
on your 'Computer Drive-In Screen' by Clicking here>
https://youtu.be/9fX3dcYw440?si=WlrWQOsPxJ-WWIYV
This movie wuz Originally titled 'NIGHT CRAWLERS'. Check out ultra-cool
Movie-Poster Art on the DVD-Cover Box! DITA thinks that picture wood make great
T-Shirts & Vintage-feel Lunch Boxes!!! L-o-v-e it!
It
of course Stars DITA-Fave & CULT/Drive-In Queen; MAMIE VAN
DOREN.......................Who DITA wants to be when she grows up!!! BTW, DITA
got to finally meet Mss. VAN DOREN, here in Hollyweird once at her
Book-Signing/Double-DD Movie Feature/Q. & A. @ the AERO Theater in Cali. MAMIE,
now 94 but was at this time 82, looked 'Sex-sational', in a sexy mini-dress and
very long blonde hair. She even said Hi to DITA, which almost sent me
squealing w/ghoul-ish/girly glee!!! First she signed her COLLECTOR'S EDITION of
her Autobiography; 'PLAYING THE FIELD', and other items Fans had brought. In
fact my Producer/Agent/Creator; Darell Erazo stood in line to get his DVD-Copy
of her Cult-Flick; 'THREE NUTS IN SEARCH OF A BOLT', hopefully signed.
While he did that, he wuz caught on Camera by Mamie's People when they filmed
the Fans in line!!! YEAH! To see that video, which she is caught
Autographing a Big-Size Poster from one of her Fans of tonight's Film; 'NAVY VS.
THE NIGHT MONSTERS', also in this Video. Click here to see it all. Btw, My
Producer/Agent; Darell is seen about 8 or 9th in line with a Black silk shirt,
black hair and brown eyes, waiting in the line, Hon>
http://youtu.be/xwPxOhDXURc
Also
DITA snapped this pic of MAMIE Signing Autographs at the Event which wuz way
back on April 4th, 2013
With B-flicks such as; 'Party Girls For The Candidate', ''Born Reckless', 'Three Nuts In Search Of A Bolt', 'The Sheriff Was A Lady', 'Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women', 'The Private Lives Of Adam And Eve', 'Running Wild', 'Sex Kittens Go To College', 'Beat Generation' incidentally the last 2 films Co-Starring; 'VAMPIRA. 'Untamed Youth', ' Girl's Town', 'High School Confidential', 'College Confidential' & 'Vice Raid'. Shall I go on? Obviously, DITA is a big FAN of hers as well.
Derek; The Vamperic Announcer Interrupts; 'Enough 'Bally-who' DIRT NAP!!!
DITA responds;' 'Quite right!' Uh, Did I mention 'Las Vegas Hillbillies' w/Jayne Mansfield? A-n-y way, this grade B, Monster Flick, 'Navy VS. The Night Monsters' still managed to be a guilty-pleasure/drive-in favorite for this ghoul!!! It would help to be seen at a 'DRIVE-IN' on a hot summer night. Preferably seated in a 57' CHEVY Convertible with high 'fish-fins' ('fish-fins' are a car style reference for the 'over 55' plus crowd, such as myself. LOL), 'drive-in' speaker strategically placed on 'driver's-side' door, so your date will have to lean into your shoulder to hear it!
As the 'Let's- All-Go-To-The-Lobby' Theme music plays; Click here for that; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfDXlgmKFyU, I bet you can just feel the fuzz from my tight, pink, 'angora' sweater now, can't you? Popcorn, 'Drive-in Snacks' & 'mosquito-spray' not included, hon! Now hurry over the gravel, back to your vehicle, cuz the 'count-down' clock on the 'Drive-In' screen is ticking. '3-2-1!' And now for tonight's Feature, MAMIE VAN DOREN in; 'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS!!!
As the credits scroll across the screen our story starts with a group of Naval Officers, some of which are scientists, arriving at a Navel Base w/Naval Nurses in tow. One of them being the infamous Miss Van Doren, playing, busty Nurse Nora who has a love scene in a jeep, complete w/hoaky-music cue. The 'Shirley' to her 'Laverne' is played by Pamela Mason. A brunette.
The storyline in a nutshell is; The whole crew becomes eventually
trapped on afore mentioned 'military base' when 'Ice-Age' Vegetative-Monster
Trees start to attack w/acid goo!
'Yikes, hold me closer, 'Drive-In ROB', cuz I'm a-skuuured!!! I guess that's
what happens when you 'DON'T' talk to your plants? The walking 'Monster-Trees'
look silly/fun and have little 'baby-spider plants' that when touched, burn your
skin or in one actors case his whole face w/some sort of an 'acidic-veagan' goo.
Hmmmmm! Note; to self........-acidic-goo' good for pesky, skin removal projects.
Now here are 'DITA's Things to Look For;
* Scenes with witty lines such as 'Next time, I 'm getting a dog that's a
vegetarian! 'Please lower your voice, this man is very ill.' 'That tree took his
arm clean off, yeah, he's dead! Etc. ,etc.
* Any scenes in the forest with 'killer-trees' and cast members running 'to & fro'.
*All fight scenes, very staged, with 'biff, 'bam', 'pow' sounds missing' when actors fists are connecting with sparring partners face. Not meant to be funny, but really is!
* DITA's favorite scene where 'Mamie's' wearing a tight, yellow,
sleeve-less top and tight white pants that zip in back. In this scene when
crosses the room, watch for 'camel-toe' in front and 'lift & 'separate' in the
rear of said, 'white' pants! More importantly, when Miss Van
Doren/Nurse-Nora crosses the room in this scene her breasts bob 'up and down'
and do their own 'jiggle' dance. DITA suggests using 'slow-mo' &'zoom' feature
on your DVD remote like I did. Just a thought, hon.
* Scene where two officers stand by and do absolutely nothing to help a fellow
officer who slowly and hysterically gets eaten by a 'Tree-Monster! So much for
'com-radarie', kids!
* Funniest scene in movie where 'tree-monster' tears off a man's
arm, and if you zoom in, you see 'fake-cloth-arm' attached to the tree with a
huge 'safety-pin'! Too unintentionally funny. This whole Production has a whole
'unintentionally-hilarious'-'buttered-popcorn' vibe that won this 'Bone-Bitch'
over and will hopefully do the same for you, my little
'coffin-creepers'.
DITA gives 'Navy VS. The Night Monsters' 2 and 1/2 SKULLS out of
3.
Sorry but a few points were taken off for too many office scenes and editing
'those- scenes' out would have made the pace of this fun flick just about
perfect in DITA's humble opinion.
DVD Extras include;
+ Vintage Drive-In Commercials (DITA likes this Feature the best as there are
many that she hasn't seen before on the Net! Love it!)
+Other Cheezy Flicks from this Company like 'DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS' (Of course!),
and others.
+Scene Selection
+About Cheezy Flicks ( Couldn't have taped a live Promo with a real Person???)
Just an Info board to read about the Company which is somewhat interesting.
Now
DITA as usual doesn't want to tell you whole story, but I will tell you that the
NAVY does employ 'fire-bombs', to 'fight-fire-with-fire!'
So be a dear, and click on the 'DVD-Icon', next to my Review to
get your own Copy, tonight! 'Why, you may ask?'
To see for yourself if the 'Drive-In' ready, culty, walking, oozy-goozy,
'Monster-Trees' are really as cheesy-looking as they sound and if the NAVY &
their 'Naughty Nurses' defeat them, silly?'
DITA loved this 'so bad it's good and I love this Monster-Flick for all it's 'cheesy' ,ooey-gooey-acid skin-burning oodness but felt it needed more MAMIE, more screaming, more scenes w/Monster-Trees. Also less 'Stock-footage' would also help. Hmmm, the Director must have went to 'Edward D. Wood Jr.' School Of Film Making. Not that, that's a bad thing, mind you!!! (LOL!)
Yes, I know what your thinking, DITA cracks herself up. I know, we've been over that one before. A-n-y-w-h-o, as you leave my 'Horror/Cult Drive-In', folks, be sure to remove your speakers before you 'peel-out' in the gravel. If you accidentally pull a speaker loose, please turn it in at the 'Snack Bar', no really, do know how much those things cost? Their 'Vintage' you know. lol!
'THANKS, for your patronage and have a 'horror-filled weekend!!!
Until next time, when we celebrate DITA's Big Bloody '60th'
Birthday!
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA (Girl Who Invented Rock & Roll) DIRT NAP
(Too see MAMIE Sing; 'THE GIRL WHO INVENTED ROCK & ROLL' from; the Film
'TEACHER'S PET', Just Click here, babe;
https://youtu.be/1wDu8MvTb7E?si=c9J1RoAYBvJru-Ua
Too see MAMIE Perform 'OOBA, LOOBA, BABY' & 'GO, CALYPSO, GO', from the CULT- Film, Screened at the MAMIE VAN DOREN Event DITA attended back in 2013 called; 'UNTAMED-YOUTH', Click here, Dear> https://youtu.be/EtqtqrQ2CKs?si=kG_Dd1MH1KwDTsPH
Too see MAMIE in one of her Producer/Agent's; Mr. Erazo's
favorite Cult-Films he brought to get Autographed that night called; 'THREE NUTS
IN SEARCH OF A BOLT', Click here, Babe>
https://youtu.be/YVGI6GRblmg?si=ss3avbS2RdQK5P4s
Scare-mail appreciated at;
DDN1965@LIVE.COM But PLEASE Type in
the word; DITA in the Subject line. Or simply contact me on my FaceBook Page at
the top of this Review.
P.S. Too see a 'MAMIE TRIBUTE Video' Click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JOt3MJCmZk
Check out 'MAMIE-TODAY', alive & well and still a 'GORE'-juss' 'SEX-BOMB' at 94,
on her Face-Book Page at
www.facebook.com/mamievandoren Tell her DITA DIRT NAP sent cha'!!!
Still
check out her scandalous, 'kiss & tell' biography, that DITA DIRT NAP highly
urges to read, cuz I have at least 3 times or more, entitled 'PLAYING THE
FIELD', now available on amazon.com
To get this Sensational Sizzling Read NOW as a Special COLLECTOR'S EDITION', just Click on the 'Book-Icon' of 'PLAYING THE FIELD' in Paperback....right here, My little Coffin-creepers!
DITA is a huge, loyal fan!!! Rock on, MAMIE!'
Now DITA's usual suggested Sites for more Horror/Cult Web-Surfin' ;
www.thenewbev.com (Check out their
NOVEMBER Movie Schedule!)
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com
www.fangoria.com
www.briansdriveintheater.com
(Click on Mamie's own Drive-In once your there for more info on her and her
films!!!)
www.somethingweird.com
www.cheezyflicks.com
www.elvira.com
www.cinespia.org
www.shoutfactory.com (Carries TV
Shows of Elvira, Pee-Wee, MSTK, Dragnet, etc.)
www.marilynmonroe.com
www.jaynemansfield.net
DITA is a Big Longtime-Fan of MAMIE VAN DOREN's, as witnessed in my Music-Video,
which is full of 'Mamie-Clips' and more, u can see again by Clicking here, my
little 'Spider-Bites' >
http://vimeo.com/16118958
THIS REVIEW DEDICATED TO DITA's IDOL; MAMIE VAN DOREN! WUZ A THRILL FINALLY
MEETING YOU, MISS VAN DOREN! U ROCK! ! Your 'still' looking Sex-sational, Mamie
now at 94, and u were so nice and kind to your Fans at the AERO Theater back on
April 4th, 2013! Thanks for your vibrancy, being ahead of your time and all your
talent and damned-hard work getting there thru UNIVERSAL-UPI! XOXO, DITA DIRT
NAP!
Creature Feature © D. Dyszel 2025
and by
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor