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THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE’
COLUMBIA PICTURES Corporation
Starring; BELA LUGOSI, Nina Foch,
Frieda Inescort, Matt Willis (As the Werewolf.) & a very young; Jeanne Bates
(Future Star of; ‘MOM!’ witch DITA Recently Reviewed- She plays the Vampire’s very First Victim. , etc.
Directed By; Lew Landers
Produced By; Sam White
1944 DVD & 'Prime-Video'
Hi Kids, It’s the ‘Return Of The Bone-Bitch!' DITA DIRT NAP, this time bringing
you LUGOSI! I bring you another Culty Horror-Lost Gem called; ‘THE RETURN OF THE
VAMPIRE’!!! Of course Starring the One & Only; BELA LUGOSI! This cool, culty,
old-fashioned Fright-Flick is now Available on DVD & Streaming on 'Prime-Video'.
Get yours quick by Clicking on the ‘DVD-Icon’ of it now, next to Dear old DITA’s
Review, hon! Makes a great B-Day gift for your favorite 'LUGOSI-Lover', no
You see once, DITA wuz thumbing thru the an old Issue of ‘SCARY MONSTERS MAGAZINE’ and saw a Article on and about this Lugosi-Horror Gem and decided to Review it. It was in Issue # 74 that I came across a great Article by; Martin Powell entitled; ‘IN SEARCH OF ‘THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE’. DITA liked the Article so much ( which began on Page; 37.) To see the Trailer for; 'THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE', simply Click here, Dear> https://youtu.be/Y9M3rjn0qes
This old-time Monster-Flick starts out with the Vampire’s first beautiful Victim, being attacked, then quickly cuts to a gothic-lly-cool, creepy ,atmospheric fog-covered Grave Yard. When what do we see making it way thru the fog to a waiting Mausoleum, but a somewhat odd looking Werewolf! Hmmm? Where’s he going, you may ask? To wake up Drac, silly! W-H-A-T? You thought he wuz late for a ‘Mani-Pettie’! LOL!
You see he has awakened his Master , the Vampire, aka Dr. Armand Tesla. Then quickly there's a 'flash-back', to how poor Drac, bit the dust the first time. This dirty-deed wuz done dirt cheap by a Lady Scientist & a Professor. The sneak in the grave yard after the good Lady Scientist’s young daughter wuz bitten by a Vampire and required a blood-transfusion to survive. AH, sweet revenge. So she thinks!
Quickly after this ‘stake-thru-the- heart’ scene before in the Cemetery. Her associate, the good Professor, dies in a plane crash. Huh?? Then Lady Scientist, finds herself, being accused all these years later of; Murder. Let DITA explain; u see the Authorities don’t believe in Vampires, uh, or Werewolves, for that matter, so they announce that if they go back to the old grave yard from years ago, they believe they should find a steel stake with no body, if she’s to be found innocent. If they find a corpse with a stake thru it’s heart then she will be thrown in jail.
Now in the future scenes, the Lady Scientist’s daughter Nicky, is all grown-up, thanks to the past blood-transfusion. Meanwhile, back at the ‘bone-yard’, their have been recent ‘air-raids’, that have bombed open some graves, of course including the old Vampires resting place. Two grave yard care takers discover the Vamp’s body w/the stake still in it. They are there to clean up, so before re-burying him, one of them pulls out the stake. Whooooops!!!
This brings the old blood-sucker back to life, uh, this time with an axe to grind to the person who did this to him! YES, kids, you guessed it, the old Scientist-Lady (FRIEDA INESCORT), with the grown up Sexy daughter played by Actress; NINA FOCH. Now DITA should mention that back when the stake wuz driven in the Vampire, his spell over his Servant Werewolf wuz broken. The old boy/former werewolf went to work for Lady Scientist and she reformed him from evil. Well as u can imagine, the old boy gets turned back into a Werewolf by bothersome old Drac, and…………back into submission & evil!
The ‘once-again Werewolf’ (played dramatically by; MATT WILLIS.) begins to secretly help the old Vampire ( Played brilliantly by; BELA LUGOSI, as only he can, kids!) find a new Dr, Identity, gets him invited to a party at the Lady Scientist house and as expected , all ‘HELL’ slowly breaks loose. Now Armand Tesla/Vampire has also been visiting her grown-up hot tomato daughter at night, uh, in her no garlic room . DITA noticed and again begins to feed on her quickly draining blood. Hmmm?
Is there a show-down between the ‘Lady-Scientist’ and the vengeful old’ Vampire??? Will the Werewolf turn good again or even get ‘HIS’ revenge??? To find out This and much, much more……………just simply Click on the ‘DVD-Icon’ of ‘THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE ‘ tonight or simply Stream it on 'prime-video'. Uh, quickly before the dreaded Vampire-burning Sun comes up!!! HURRY, umm, he doesn’t have any ‘Sunscreen’ with him, hon!!! LOL! What??? I said, I don’t like to tell the whole Story!
‘And now…………………..’DITA’s THINGS-2-LOOK-4’;
*Scene in the beginning of this fun/fright flick in grave yard with the Vampire & the Werewolf!
* Scenes w/air raids at inconvenient times and places. ( Watch, you’ll see what DITA means!)
* All grave yard scenes! (Very well-dressed scenes that only add to the all-over creepiness!)
* Vampire visiting scenes w/THE ‘HOT-TOMATO’ Daughter of Lady-Scientist! (Love the way Bela whispers to her thru the air and ‘close-ups’ of his mesmerizing eyes.)
* Stand-off Scene between ‘you-know-who’ & ‘you-know-who else’! ( Two sets of characters have these ‘stand-off’ scenes, mind u!)
As for the ‘EXTRAS’; Just the following;
+ Trailers; ‘BRAM STOKERS; ‘DRACULA’ & ‘HAMMER’S; ‘THE REVENGE OF FRANKENSTEIN’
+ Subtitles in; ENGLISH, SPANISH, FRENCH, JAPANESE
+ Scene Selection
DITA highly suggests this old-fashioned, Culty, Monster Fright-Flick w/my Favorite; BELA LUGOSI
DITA gives it a Score of 2 and ˝ SKULLS out of 3!
One point only taken off cuz it’s not his Original; ‘DRACULA’ (1931)!
W-H-A-T, that one can’t be beat even today.
Special Shout to my ‘Fiend’ in Horror& Cult, ‘RENFIELD’!!! Hi REN!
p.s. Click here to see a Tribute-Video to Actress Jean Bates who plays Dracula's 'Victim Of Interest', Hon> https://youtu.be/lGy6FGGte0k
Till next time, when DITA will review the Classic 'APRIL FOOL'S DAY', from the 80's.
DITA (‘Coffin-Shaker’) DIRT NAP
( Too see the gothically-cool Group; ‘THE COFFIN SHAKERS’ Singing their HIT Song; ‘RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE’, Just Click here; https://youtu.be/fQX3OzEyCZA )
Contact DITA DIRT NAP please at; DDN1965@live.com
As usual, check out these DITA-Suggested sites for more Horror-fun;
www.mymoviemonsters.com ("Scary Monsters Magazine!)
www.thenewbev.com ( Movie Listings w/dates , here in L.A. at the ‘NEW BEVERLY CINEMA’. L-o-v-e it!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Located in trendy Downtown L.A., CA.)
www.imdb.com ( Too see the full artsy Original Trailer of; ‘THE RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE’ and more of LUGOSI’s Work!!! )
www.cinespia.org ( Too see Movie Listings for the Outdoor Movies shown at my Resting place & VAMPIRA’s. ‘HOLLYWOOD FOREVER CEMETERY’. U haven’t ‘lived’ until you’ve seen a Horror Flick shown in a Grave Yard!!! DITA highly recommends!!! 3 Skulls!!!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Listen to 'DUG GRAVES HORROR-RADIO SHOW' Every Friday Night, Hon!)
'ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY'
From; Universal Studios-'COMEDY LEGENDS' Collection
'A UNIVERSAL INTERNATIONAL PICTURES Production
Directed By; Charles Lamont Produced By; Howard Christie
Starring; BUD ABBOTT & LOU COSTELLO,
Marie Windsor ( Stanley Kubrick's-'The Killing', Roger Corman's-'Swamp Women',
'Cat Women On The Moon' & 1977's 'Freaky Friday' w/Jodie Foster) ,
Michael Ansara ('It's Alive', 'Harem-Scarum' w/Elvis Presley) ,
Peggy King; Singer- ('The George Gobel Show')
Richard Deacon ('Dick Van Dyke Show' as Mel Cooley.) and 'Stunt-Man' Ed Parker as the 'Mummy'.
'F.Y.I.'- Carole Costello, Lou's daughter as; The Cigarette-Girl.
Make-Up By; The Legendary BUD WESTMORE.
1955 DVD & Streaming on AMAZON-PRIME, Hon!
I'm back...........and this time in my MUMMY's ARMS! Yes, it's me! That walking, talking, Undead, 'Horror/Cult'- Comedy herself, DITA DIRT NAP! This time I bring you a 'Horror-Comedy'-Spoof entitled;' ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY'!!! Also as an added Bonus a 'Mini-Review' of the 'Book-Companion' from Author; Jeffrey S. Miller, 'The HORROR SPOOFS of ABBOTT and COSTELLO'.
Any-Boo the Trailer for A. & C Meets The Mummy' shouts; 'OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF AN ANCIENT TOMB'; ECHOES A SOUND THAT SHAKES THE WORLD............WITH LAUGHTER! 'BUD ABBOTT and LOU COSTELLO' MEET THE MUMMY'! 'IT'S BANG UP, ROOF-RAISING...FRENZIED FUN!' Click here to see what DITA means about that exact Trailer> http://youtu.be/EPmeEMWPMvI
Thus starts this 'horror-comedy' romp thru the tombs of ancient Egypt with, as you all know, one of DITA's Favorite Comedy Teams! The film starts out with Bud & Lou at a Night Club in Cairo called the 'BAGHDAD CAFE', where while watching a stage show, they over hear Archaeologist Dr. Zoomer say he needs two men to bring the Mummy; Klaris from Egypt to America. After some quick 'slapstick' at the club they head over to the Dr.'s Office to offer their services. However they find the good Dr. has been freshly murdered and after some 'comedy-hi-jinks' with a disappearing 'body-of-evidence' (obscure Madonna Movie Reference) & some 'mummy-hide-n-seek', our 'boys' find a sacred-medallion that the evil 'Madame-Rontru' (played brilliantly by Marie Windsor!) and her 'hench-men' desperately want to get their hands on.
Why, you may ask? To decipher the message about where to find
the 'mummy-treasure', silly!' Before Madame Rontru and her thugs can buy it from
our boys, Costello accidentally eats it. This happens after a game of
'ancient-medallion/curse' 'switch-a-roo' with their 'burgers', of all things! No
foolin! Madame 'Evil-Gal' & Company catches Lou and hysterically 'X-Rays' him to
see if he really has it. One the second 'X-ray' the necklace spells 'H-E-L-P!'
in his stomach. Then after trying to shake him up, Lou is catapulted into the
ceiling! Later when having a run-in with Klaris, the 'mummy' gives Lou the 'hymlich-manuever'
and out pops the 'cursed-medallion' into the 'mummy's hand.
Now as usual, to try and make a long story shorter, here is DITA's 'Things To Look For' List;
*Scene with 'Costello' running into a bat, a giant-lizard and a skeleton with 'hand-cuffs', which causes much, much hilarity as you can only imagine.
* Scene with Costello trying hard to bury the 'mummy' and one of the 'hoodlums' disguised as the mummy in the sand by bopping them on the 'noggin' much like a manic game a 'whack-a-mole'!
* Scene with 3 Mummy's, one real and 2 fake being shot at by Madame Rontru. When she runs out of bullets, she throws the gun at the real Mummy. Why??? He then grabs her and she tries to set him on fire with a torch. Then dynamite is thrown back and fourth between the mummy, Klaris and the cast! Good stuff! Guess who catches it??? I'll never tell!!!
* Scene where Vocalist PEGGY KING, wearing a 'glam-gown' sings a cool, snappy ditty about DITA's 'home-town' called 'YOU CAME A LONG WAY FROM ST. LOUIE!' Love it, down-loaded it!!!
* Scene where Klaris-worshippers 'Egyptian-dance troop' perform native-ritual dance! (Very cool but DITA says watch for the 'over-enthusiastic' only male dancer, and his 'oh-so-over-dramatic' dance moves! (DITA almost wet myself!!!) Love it!!!
* Any scene with Lou unintentionally 'snake-charming' w/hilarious results right up till the end of the picture!
Lot's of 'slap-stick, which you know dear old DITA just loves between this comedy-duo in this 'mummy-mystery/horror-spoof' flick as well as secret-passages and great chase scenes and even a 'comedy-nod' to the infamous who's on first' routine in this one folks! Ya gotta love it!
Sadly, this was 'A. & C.''s last 'horror-spoof' in the series,
although it's surprise success garnered enough attention for another
'horror-comedy' Outing wanted by the studio. The boys felt that had enough
with the Studio Heads. They did however use horror-bits in their wonderful TV
Specials and their own TV Series 'THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO SHOW'! One bit used in
the 'Colgate-Comedy Hour' introduced 'our boys' to one of DITA's favorite
Monster-Crushes. It was 'Abbott & Costello Meet The Creature From The
Black Lagoon'!!! To see that Creature Clip from their TV Show, simply Click
DITA loves this one as it is now public-domain. Now as you know DITA won't tell the ending to this 'fun-flick', but I will say it involves a 'bang' and an 'Tomb-themed' eatery/club engagement for Mss. King again. Love this flick and encourages you and yours to see it for yourself by clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' next to my Review or Simply watch it, Streaming on 'PRIME-VIDEO!'
DITA gives it a '3 Skulls Out Of 3 Skulls' even though the energy of it's 'comedy-team' was as to be expected , a tad low.
Extras; on this disc included are; Way-vintage-cool 'Theatrical Trailer, Production Notes, and Cast and Film makers. Nice touch! A fun movie to watch on a stormy night, curled up on the couch with 'YOUR' favorite Munster, tonight!
HORROR SPOOFS Of ABBOTT and COSTELLO'; A Critical Assessment of the Comedy Team's Monster Films. By a very thorough Author; MR. JEFFREY S. MILLER.
DITA highly urges you to get this book, if your as big a FAN of 'Abbott & Costello' as I am! For Fans of their 'Monster-Films' it is a 'MUST-HAVE'!!! Mr. Miller provides all the fine details of each 'Monster-Meets' Movies' as well as their other 'Horror-Comedies' such as DITA's favorite 'HOLD THAT GHOST' and 'THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES' & 'ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF'! 'WOW!'
Oh, before I forget, the info on 'Meet The Mummy' in the book
begins on Page;114. He has written Articles for FILMFAX, TELEVISION CHRONICLES
and MIDNIGHT MARQUEE and over 100 Documentaries on Film History for Passport
Productions and More!! Contact him at;
Fans of 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO's 'Monster Meets' Flicks just click on 'THE HORROR SPOOFS OF ABBOTT and COSTELLO' 'Book-Icon', next to my Review and order yours tonight!
Mr. Miller even Autographed my Copy; T0; 'DITA DIRT NAP', Always a pleasure to meet a fellow Fan. Best Always, JEFFREY S. MILLER
Till Next Week
I Blow You 'Vaccinated Chainsaw-Kisses',
DITA ('You Came Along Way From St. Louie') DIRT NAP
(click here to hear that exact Song from this Fun-Flick, Hon> https://youtu.be/KzQXv9rFyG8 )
As usual, Please Check out these DITA-Suggested sites as
www.shoutfactory.com (Always excellent Variety of DVD Choices says; DITA!)
www.somethingweird.com (DITA says ; Great Selection of CULT-DVD's!!!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (DITA LIKE-Y!)
www.radiohalloween.com Radio Halloween plays best Halloween music and stories all day, all night, & all year!
www.mymoviemonsters.com ("Scary Monsters Magazine!')
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune in Every Friday Night to hear DUG GRAVES HORROR-RADIO SHOW!!!)
© D. Dyszel 2023
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor