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 'FANTASY MISSION FORCE'
Directed By; Chu Yen Ping
Produced By; Shen Hsiao
A Cheung Ming Film
Starring; JACKIE CHAN, Lin Ching Tsia,
Jung Shau Chiu, Wang Yu, Shiu Bu Lia,
Fang Jung, etc.

1983-Streaming on 'Prime Video' for a Price and Streaming Free on 'TUBI', Hon!

Well hello again my little Spider-Bites! Tis I, DITA DIRT NAP, your 'Mistress-Of-'Scare-A-Moanies'.

We know 'MAY' now marks 'ASIAN HERITAGE MONTH!'

You see when DITA first moved to LA, CA. from the Midwest I joined a group called; 'Asian Pacific Gays And Friends'. Why you may ask as I am only a tiny bit Hawaiian Asian from being Puertorican and Danish decent? Cuz I was new in town and didn't know anyone here yet silly.

I began going to their numerous functions, made a lot of new friends that way, felt less alone and even marched in one of their T-Shirts in the section of the PRIDE-Parade that 1995 year in Hollywood, Hon! I will never forget how important that was for this at the time, lonely ole' ghoul-gal! So tonight DITA brings you one of her favorite Asian Cult Flicks with a tiny touch of 'Asian-horror folklore' thrown in for good measure called; 'FANTASY MISSION FORCE' from 1984, which btw is Also available Streaming on 'TUBI-TV', 'Prime-Video' and found as 'full-movie' on you-tube'.

 Click Here to See the 'Culty-Cool Trailer of; 'FANTASY MISSION FORCE'> https://youtu.be/xe7o4W0xG7s?si=FvTybTGyfPwCoaGt

This fun, Culty adventure Flick stars another 'DITA-Fave'; JACKIE CHAN and in 2028 Celebrates it's 45 Year Anniversary!!! Now DITA will first start off by telling you that Flick is a almost non-stop 'action-adventure' ride best watched con mota or at 'DITA & RENFIELD' Old Stomping Ground Haunt; THE NEW BEVERLY CINEMA', here in LA. (WWW.THENEWBEV.COM)

DITA will also tell you up front that it is very discombobulated from the get-go but that itself actually adds to the fun. It also picks up More steam when they get to the 'Horror-Comedy' portion of the film. Okay, it starts out with a 'rag-tag' group of misfits that are culled together in a jeep thru out most of this wild-ride of a film because of money offered
to them for trying rescue some hostages. Rescue them from Nazi's I believe, dear. Any-Boo, so one person who stands out thru this 'CULT-Flick' with Action-Adventure and heart, DITA will call; 'LADY BAD-ASS'. Why? Cuz she kicks ass and takes names later! She also fights better than most of the men!

So she is paired with either a boyfriend or a husband cuz it wasn't made clear which they were. The Hubby?, is sort of a Asian Elvis who is constantly pissing her off. All together this group of 'misfits of a feather flocking together' buddies ,which includes a young Jackie Chan who of course kick-ass thru-out and performs his martial arts like a well-sharply choreographed dance in every scene, DITA thinks; 'Crackers', he's Cute! There's also a pairing of two guys who are kind of like an Asian 'laurel & hardy', a captain and more.
About six of them in the group anyway.

Now as DITA mentioned this Cult Flick remains discombobulated at nearly all of the beginning of this film. One scene has them in their jeep, thrown into reverse, driving fast backwards, while unintentionally almost running over some Scottish dressed soldiers in kilts, no less, along with music playing that DITA swears almost sounds like either the old musical group from the 70's called; 'THE MONKEES' or some Asian-Benny Hill type music while the comedy high-jinks are happening. DITA must also say that this film has great various elements in it including slap-stick, action-adventure, comedy, a silent film feel in parts where they have the movements of the actors sped up again reminiscent to old ghoul of 'The Benny Hill Show', the Asian version. It also includes as DITA mentioned before some fun, cult/wonderful Asian folklore horror/comedy scenes that I love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DITA will now describe some of these scene before I forget, Hon!

These 'spooky-encounter' scenes happen when part of the rag-tag culty bunch decide, all men mind you, to randomly stay overnight at a haunted house. Quickly for these scenes I will do a little 'DITA's Things-2-Look-4-List as follows;

*Scene where the men lay down in one of the rooms of the spooky house to sleep. one of the men just happens to open his eye to see a coffin, they just happen not to notice when picking the room earlier. he sees the coffin slide back and out hops, yes, DITA said 'H-O-P-S' out of the coffin, then hop over to where the men are all sleeping , alah, 3 Stooges snoring-effects, then the hopping vampire.

*Checks their breathing, including the one who is awake but is now pretending to be asleep. why does the Vampire listen for their breathing you may ask? DITA will explain; you see in Asian-horror, they believe that their Vampires would be blind, and can only find you by your breath since their blind.

*They also hop because Asian-movies believe they would not walk because of 'rig-ah-more-tuss', as well as believe they would stab you in your neck and then suck your blood out.
More Hopping Vampires like in my past Review this month of; 'MR. VAMPIRE'.

*So back to the hopping vampire. He decides to hop out the window instead of biting the boys. As soon as he does, the no-sleep guy screams like girl, waking up the other men. Too funny, my little 'coffin-creepers!'

*Another scene in the haunted house ,another guy walks into a room where he sees what he thinks are men sitting around a table playing poker.

*So he joins in by pulling up a chair. one scene has one of the poker-players trying steal a card from the 'mission-force' guy. So he reaches under the table to stop him and sees that the man has stretched his hand all the way under the entire table all the way over to him.

*Another 'guy' suddenly wants to get a peek at the mission-force guy's hand of cards so he makes his head float over to take a peek, uh, headless!!! Finally the M.F.-Guy relizes that these men are not human and are ghosts. He then quickly high-tails it outta the room.
his hand all the way under the entire table all the way over to him. Another 'guy' suddenly wants to get a peek at the mission-force guy's hand of cards so he makes his head float over to take a peek, uh, headless!!! Finally the M.F.-Guy realizes that these men are not human and are ghosts. He then quickly high-tails it outta the room.

*Yet another 'Mission-Force Member'-Guy decides to get up in the night and go use the toilet in the creepy bathroom.

*When he does, he notices while sitting on the toilet that someone is staring at him in the bathroom mirror. he gets scared, can't find toilet paper to wipe himself. So he guts up without wiping and runs thru the now ghoul-filled bathroom where each ghoul is holding out their creepy hands offering him pieces of toilet paper and runs thru the line-up of them screaming all-the-while!

Next they finally get to their destination all-together and decide to fight to horrible Nazi's for the big-money of a million dollars. So they have a big shoot-out show down w/the bad guys and decide that whoever's left alive after gets to run away w/the money. Next almost all the characters in the 'mission-force' do one exact same thing. What you may ask???
Well, as you know fore sure by know, DITA never likes to tell the whole story and definitely not the ending! I will say that Jackie Chan's character does have a big fight-to-the-finish scene with a big-baddie who wants him dead. In these final scenes Jackie's highly-skilled and perfected martial-arts skills are beautifully displayed in this scenes and will keep you rooting for his character and hanging on the edge of your seat till the end. He is the master when it comes to making his fight scenes look like a skilled, and mesmerizing choreography like non other.  He also drops a quick funny line while driving away. END-SCENE, Hon!

DITA loved seeing this film again and once mentioned it in detail in one of my old show episodes of; 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' when DITA was asked by one of the Creators and Writers of the old; 'CULT MOVIES MAGAZINE', to name one of my Favorite CULT-Films and DITA replied with; 'FANTASY MISSION FORCE!' This film is most definitely low-budget like I love and as mentioned discombobulated as well as all over the place which DITA think 'ONLY' adds to it's Highly Culty-Charm!

DITA has also heard it's rumored to finally get the 'MIDNIGHT MOVIE TREATMENT' at my favorite haunt at the NEW BEVERLY CINEMA', located on Beverly Blvd. in Hollyweird. DITA can Only hope that that rumor comes true sometime this year!!!!!! This Cult-flick is so entertaining as well as endearing! DITA LIKE-Y! So Stream it Thru 'AMAZON-PRIME' on 'INDIE FLIX' for a Price, Streaming Free on 'TUBI TV', Hon!

DITA gives this Film a 2 and Half Skulls Score Out of 3 Skulls score! Enjoy it with some tasty 'road-kill' Pizza with extra tire-tracks and some buttery 'scare-corn' freshly popped and a 2 Liter Bottle of 'CHOKE-A-COLA!'

DITA almost forgot, Click here to see; 'FANTASY MISSION FORCE's 'KILL-COUNT'> https://youtu.be/rrCkHBK5AFw?si=IF78ttQubjzljuZ3 

P.S. Contact DITA DIRT NAP @ DDN1965@LIVE.COM  by writing DITA in the Subject Line, Please.

P.P.S. DITA wants you to take a peek at these 'DITA-Suggested' Asian Horror & Cult Flicks for this months Celebration of 'Asian-Heritage' as follows;
'TOKYO GORE POLICE'> https://youtu.be/1VqtYgQ0ZXo?si=cBmFZ7NWQy21QYjW
'RUMBLE IN THE BRONX'> https://youtu.be/q7vg8uGzLts?si=p5JSDT678scpLpbw 
'DR. VAMPIRE'> https://youtu.be/QntBqtmaRKQ?si=uvW6KsO98PHDr9Mw
'Ultra Man VS. Godzilla'> https://youtu.be/h3BwxdOOaqY?si=Y9H3Lef7WNnTTNO5

'HAPPY ASIAN HERITAGE MONTH!'

Till next week,
DITA wishes you 'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA ('SOUR-CANDY') DIRT NAP
(Click Here to see that Exact Video Song-Collaboration w/K-POP Group; BLACK PINK & LADY GA GA called; 'SOUR CANDY'> https://youtu.be/wgwMzdNneyI?si=Zsl5PIC-5OitzrzV  )

As usual here are my 'DITA-Suggested'-Sites to Check Out as Follows;
www.legendfilms.com
www.somethingweird.com 
www.elvira.com  (Check out her Merch!)
www.thenewbev.com 
www.amoeba.com
www.cinespia.org
www.stopasianhate.org
www.stopasianhate.info 
www.blacklivesmatter.com
www.jewishlivesmatter.com 
www.electricduskdrivein.com  (DITA LIKE-Y!)
www.radiohalloween.com 
www.fangoria.com 
www.blackpink.com 
www.ladygaga.com 
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves  (Tune In Every Friday Night to 'DUG GRAVES RADIO-HORROR SHOW!' DITA Also LIKE-Y!)
www.asianpacificislanders.org
www.halloweenalliance.com