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'CIRCUS OF HORRORS'
An American International Picture
'A.I.P. FILMS'
A Julian Wintle/Leslie Parkyn Production
Directed By; Sidney Hayers
Starring; Anton Diffring, Erika Remberg, Yvonnne Monlaur
('Brides Of Dracula'),
Donald Pleasence ('Halloween', 'The Devil Within Her',
etc, etc.) & lots of others.
'Look For A Star' Sung By; Gary Mills.
(British-Horror)
1960 DVD
Greetings
once again, my little 'Coffin-Creepers'!
This week
I take you from the Beach to the Circus, as I, DITA DIRT NAP, your 'Ring-Master
of Terror' bring you once again to the 'Big-Top', with the Film, 'CIRCUS OF
HORRORS'!!! This
circus-fright
flick stars a very young Donald Pleasence as a poor
Owner of a Circus and Yvonne Monlaur as his daughter. The DVD Tag Line says; 'HE
TURNED THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH INTO A CIRCUS F HORRORS!' To
see for yourself, take a look at the dramatic Trailer by Clicking here, hon;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnGc0T7oqp0
Don't u just l-o-v-e all the drama going on in that Trailer kids?
Anywho, Mizz DIRT NAP Reviewed this Flick eon's ago way back in 2001 when it wuz still only on VHS but is now on DVD. Also notice in my Pic w/my Green-hair that DITA is posed in front of the Beautiful full-color Poster that I just loved and tried to even bribe someone to let me take home w/me that day 10 yrs. ago. So I highly suggest Clicking on the 'POSTER-Icon' of 'Circus Of Horrors' here in 'DITA's-DEN' tonight to get yourself your own horrific Copy to hang on your own wall!!! Now , where wuz I?
Oh, yes,
the Storyline. Well, in a rotting, long-winded, Nutshell, here it is Dahlings;
First there is a evil Plastic Surgeon who messes up a woman's face,
making her hideous, thus making her have to take a trip to the 'Looney-bin'.
Hmmmm? More on that later. He escapes town w/his a
brother/sister assistant team, but not before they help him change his scarred
face so now he won't be recognized in the next town. Hmmmm?
They stop to ask a local young girl of the nearest
lodgings. the evil Surgeon notices she has a big scar on her face and that her
father owns a down-trodden Circus. A light-bulb goes on
in his evil little mind. Basically he promises
her alcoholic Father played well by a young Donald
Pleasence that he'll fix her face in exchange for jobs, room & board in the
Circus. He fixes her face and then the drunken old fool offers him more. The Dr.
wants control of the Circus, what else. They sign the papers, shake on it, take
a walk on the Circus grounds, the Father is drunk, complete w/wine bottle in
hand, tries to dance with the Circus bear chained up near by. All is fine until
, the drunken Father/Circus Owner drops the Wine bottle shattering it on the
ground. Of course the bear steps on it and is none to happy to get glass in his
footsie, hon...........and attacks! Now it's now to late cuz he yells to the Dr.
to get a pole used for fending off the animals when they get out of control, the
Dr. grabs it starts to run over and get the attacking bear off and
then.......stops! Why you may ask? Cuz he wants him to die so he can inherit the
Circus, silly! Also cuz he just plain E-V-I-L!!! Now here's where it gets
interesting.
After
the Dr. starts to take control of the Circus, one night he's in a bar in a seedy
part of town and watches a Hooker slide a switch blade-ish knife down her
cleavage before taking off w/her John. He follows them into a dark alley, (Hmm?
This sounds vaguely familiar to me.) she takes the John's wallet and stabs him
and tries to run away but the Dr. grabs her and quickly notices she to has a
scar on her face. He tells her he can fix it and give
her a job in the Circus as a Headliner and help her hide from the Police. This
kids, becomes the pattern for the rest of the film! Every girl with a scarred or
disfigured face is usually been a criminal or running from the law so he takes
before and after photos, files them away and if the they try to ever leave the
Circus he threatens to black mail them or much worse. Uh, he also tries &
succeeds at what DITA calls 'diddling' each & every one of them.
This in turns makes the Sister of the 'Brother/Sister Assistant Team who has been in love with him for years very upset of course. Her brother is forced to do the Dr.'s evil bidding, like releasing poisonous snakes into uncooperative Circus Star Performers Dressing Rooms ....just before Show time and unplugging machinery during performances that could prove deadly to the lovely performer, or shall DITA say....a 'real' 'pain' -in-the-neck', not to mention tampering with ropes that could have femme fatales falling flat at the end of their act.................flat on the pavement that is! Lions, Tigers, Elephants, Gorillas, Clowns and Dancing, MAULING-Killer Bears, OH MY!!!
Long story
shorter, the Police start to suspect after 12 suspicious deaths at the Big-Top
which is now being called the 'jinxed circus'. All beautiful girl performers,
all no family ties, no former employment history, all marks of plastic surgery
on their recently exhumed bodies! Hmmmm??? Now for some of the killing scenes
2-LOOK-4' as follows;
*Murder scene where girl gets it on a rotating circle board while performing a
knife throwing act for the 'last' time. The guy misses cuz of a
'electrical-malfunction' and she gets a knife right in the neck in front of the
whole crowd! ( Cuz she wuz trying to leave the Circus, hon!)
* Circus Tight Rope Performer Girl who tries to squeal to a Detective, just
before she goes on stage about the Dr. but 'wild-horses' keep her from
it.....literally. She performs her tight rope act high in the air along w/her
infamous neck-swung-in-a-noose-act and then..........while doing her
...'Tah-dah.......the rope breaks and 'KER-SPLAT!'
* Last plastic Surgery candidate girl who is Trained to be a 'Helen Of Troy'
Lion-Tamer. Remember the Sister who wuz jealous of all
this harlots of the Evil Dr.'s? Well, she decides to not tranquilize the Lion's
that Helen's supposed to 'Whip in to shape'. She
starts whipping them, she slips and falls and is mauled to her death. (This
right after the evil Dr. tells the sister-lady he is going to marry this 'Helen
of Troy chick, by-the-way, babe! Some girls are so jealous.)
*Last killing of someone who Auntie DIRT NAP will just say may deserve it by
someone who went crazy along time ago, now lives a
Princess Diana type lifestyle, attended the final night of the Circus and did
this killing 'Drive-By' style ala; MADONNA in her Video for
'WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL'!!! (Cuz yall' know I almost never tell
the ending by now. lol!)
Mizz DIRT NAP also wanted to mention that Yvonne Monlaur does a fine job playing
the Circus Owner daughter's all grown up and beautiful and even begins a little
romance w/the detective sent in to investigate the case undercover. Not a big
enough part for her though in this movie thinks DITA considering her part in
'BRIDES OF DRACULA'.
Although
her French accent in this flick gets a little jumbled and sometimes confusing at
times. This film also has a nice somewhat 'HAMMER-Feel' to it as well, witch
DITA likes!
Now here are the 'EXTRA'S included on this disc from 'Anchor Bay';
+ TV SPOTS (Always love that!)
+ Still Gallery (Very nice touch.)
+ Posters & Advertising ( Love this and wish more DVD Companies would include it
please!)
+Anton Difring Bio ( Worth taking a look at his cool, Body of work, some being
in the Horror genre, some not. Would have liked a Bio on Donald Pleasance &
Yvonne Monlaur as well though.)
This film although a bit long in story is thoroughly entertaining and stands out
and was most recently aired on one of Mizz DIRT NAP's
favorite Channel's 'TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES' Channel. DITA loved watching this
film again now with my daughter on my knee and a big
bowl of buttery popcorn w/spider sprinkles of course. 'B. J.' wuz on the roof
catching rats for his lunch at work since he'd already seen it w/me before.
W-H-A-T? Rats are a good healthy alternative food
substitute for humans. LMOL, hon!
DITA gives 'CIRCUS OF HORRORS' 2 1/2 Skulls Out almost 3 Skulls. A half a point wuz taken off for length of Storyline being stretched out. Great Film Over all!!!
'Chainsaw-Kisses' till Next Week when I bring you
another Circus-Horror Fright Flick w/DITA-Faves; JOAN CRAWFORD & DIANA DORS
called; 'BERSERK',
DITA ('What It Feels Like For A Girl') DIRT NAP
(Click here to see MADONNA's Video; 'What It Feels
Like For A Girl' and get a hint how the last person wuz killed in 'C.O.H.';
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptnJ-F9hAmM )
Contact Me;
DearDITA@live.com
As usual check out these cool DITA-Suggested sites please;
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
( New Beverly Cinema Grindhouse Festival Listings in LA, CA.)
www.newbevcinema.com
www.somethingweird.com
www.shoutfactory.com
(Excellent merch. Check it says DITA!!!)
www.fangoria.com
www.tcm.com
www.tcmunderground.com
www.cinespia.org ('Hollywood
Forever Cemetery' Outdoor Movie Screenings' L-OV-E IT!)
www.trickortreatpete.blogspot.com (Check it
kids, very creative from one of Dita's Friends!)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
( LA, CA.)
www.madonna.com
'THE
BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER'
Directed By; Jon Hall
Produced By; Edward Janis
Starring; JON HALL, SUE CASEY, Kingsley-The Lion, etc.
Music By; Frank Sinatra Jr., etc.
Wade Williams Collection
Image Entertainment
From 'AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL PICTURES' (A.I.P. Films)
(2010 Marks the 45th Anniversary of this Fun Film.)
DVD 1965
Hi
Kids! It's me again, your 'Horror/Cult Surfer-Chick/Beach Babe',
DITA DIRT NAP! As you may have noticed, it's 'Summer-Time' again,
here in 'DITA's DEN.' Good
thing that my 'HORROR/CULT DRIVE-IN''s not that far from this Beach, my
'Little Seagull-droppings'.
'Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer' Interrupts', 'Which Beach is that, may I ask?' 'DITA' Responds; 'The one where 'THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE SURF', silly!!!' (A actual Song title in the Movie that DITA has on her 'water-proof' I-pod 'Play List', no foolin'!')
Let
me start this Review of 'THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER' with how it's listed
in my favorite Book, 'CULT FLICKS AND TRASH PICS', still available on Amazon.com
that describes this fun 'horror-beach romp' flick; (loosely transcribed); THIS
MOVIES ONE ON THE CUTTING EDGE OF GENRE BLENDING. IT CLOSELY MAINTAINS THE DEPTH
AND PRODUCTION VALUES OF '60'S' BEACH BIMBO FARE. IT ALSO MANAGES TO GRAFT
SUCCESSFULLY W/THE HEINOUS MONSTER FROM THE SEA GENRE TO PRODUCE A HYBRID HORROR
WITH ACRES Of 'FLESH FOR FANTASY'. (Another Billy Idol song-reference for
yoots!)
They took the words right outta' my skull! The DVD 'Tag-Line' reads; 'SURFER
CHICKS AND SLIMY CHILLS!' To view exactly that, Click here for the 'Ultra-Campy'
Trailer of 'T.B.G.A.T.M.';
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlL4yKrD2s
See what I mean? 'Don't cha' just love it?'
This 'horror/beach flick' has everything DITA loves, bad over-acting, bad songs, except for 'Monster In The Surf' (Look for the Music Video of it Coming in Episode of 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' coming this Summer 10', my 'little-spider bites'!')bizarre manic beach dancing, badly performed death scenes, weird/strange close-ups, fun/cheesy monster suit and cool 'MONDO-Camera work!!! Kudos 2 the Director JON HALL, for that!
Now
for the fun/campy/culty Storyline; Oh, did I mention there's also lot's
of 'heavy-petting' and making-out between these crazy-kids?
Any-who, the Story Nut-shell is;
Wildly gyrating teens inhabit beach.
Scary/cheesy Monster starts teenage 'claw-killings' on said beach.
Teens get scared but still inhabit said beach. Hmmm?
Police start investigating. (Where's 'Kelton-The-Cop' when you need him?)
'Monster-In-The-Surf' continues 'claw-killing' rampage. 'UH-DUH!!!'
Sexy 'M.I.L.F.' Step-Mother gives Step-son hard time cuz she's shallow & has no
shame.
Bitchy Step-Mom gets 'come-uppance', but how? Hmmmm???
Murdering-Monster gets found out and gets quickly involved in police-car chase,
YES, Auntie DIRT NAP said 'car-chase'. (Who knew they let 'Beach-Monsters' take
the Written Driver's Test at the 'D.M.V.'???)
The rest of this 'BLEACH BLANKET BLOOD BATH' (An
obscure Unfinished 'ED WOOD' Movie reference for ya'.) you'll have to view for
yourself babe, by Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' next to
Dear old' DITA's Review.
Before you do that here are 'DITA's Things-2-Look-4' List ' in this cool/campy,
beach fright flick;
*Any and all dancing Scenes. Best described as 'mondo-manic' & culty/fun!
(Note; The famous 'at-the-time' 'WATUSI DANCING GIRLS' From L.A.'s
'WHISKEY A-GO-GO' are featured in the film. You know the place on the 'Sunset
Strip' where I wuz murdered in my former life as 'Dancer/Street-Walker',
'ROX-ANNE REDLIGHT'! Just a bit of DITA Bio' Trivia, kids.)
* Any Murdering, Beach-Monster Scenes! Hilarious, but
not to be! ('2-DIE-4' thinks DITA.)
*Make-Out Scenes. At one point 'Twin Guys' take turns smooching the same beach
babe. (What.....a Puta! Mizz DIRT NAP wood know! Tee-hee.)
*Stock-footage in color of Surfers riding the waves.
(DITA wood Edit them down. 'W-H-A-T?')
*Look for brunette beach girl sitting next to the guy with the guitar, she keeps
shaking her 'bazooms' to the Song, ODDLY, I might add! (Love it anyway.)
* Beach scene with 'weird-limp' guy who gets blamed for a Beach-Monster Killing
who knows later how to use a sharp object on said
Monster.
* Fun scene where the Lion-Puppet, 'Kingsley'
Introduces the song DITA likes most while teens sit around beach camp-fire,
called 'THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE SURF'!!!
* DITA's favorite scene in the film done with 'mondo-weird/cool camera work' and
'Set-Up Shots'; where the 'M.I.L.F.-y' hot overtly,
overly Sexy bitchy Step Mom drunkenly makes her way down a hallway,
choreographed sexy, stumbly steps Included, to only be attacked by
her..........uh, by the......uh, oh, right, I n-e-v-e-r tell the near/ending
of the movie, darlings!!! (Siento!)
Lastly & scares-ly, the Minuscule 'EXTRAS' on this 'bloody-beach towel' disc;
+Trailer (Thank goodness for small favors!)
+Scene Selection
Oh well, maybe 'Legend Films' will some day Colorize this culty little
beach-horror gem and add more 'special features'. We
can only hope. Also let me just say, if ED WOOD ever did a 'horror-themed beach
flick', it wood probably look a lot like this one!
I, DITA DIRT NAP gives 'guilty-pleasure' beach monster flick '3 SKULLS OUT Of A 3 SKULLS' Score!!! 'SCARE-TAB-U-LUS!' Especially high Score for the 'Shades Of Ed Wood' Vibe, this picture has going for it! High marks in DITA's Book!!! I should Host this 'Monster Flick. Hmmmm???
Well, as the Sun goes down on the culty, crashing waves at the Beach, why don't you head over to my 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' and take a look at these 'Horror-rific' 'DRIVE-IN PREVIEWS' (Of witch 'Horror Of Party Beach' from last Week, here in the 'DEN' is Included, just 4 u, by Clicking here; www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKMogXCYip4
'HUNGRY?' Then get to that Concession stand, before that Line gets to long. DITA wood race you there, BUT as you know, it's hard to run in my 'ED HARDY' Flip-Flops!!! Bet 'LADY-J.' could, though!
Till Then,
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA ('MONSTER-IN-MY-PANTS') DIRT NAP
{To see that Big '80's' Music Video, 'Monster In My Pants'
By FRED SCHNEIDER Of 'THE B-52'S'},just click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1rURicwysU
p.s. Mizz DIRT NAP wanted to Review a Beach-Themed Horror Flick this weekend
called; 'THE MONSTER FROM BIKINI BEACH' butt alas it couldn't be found here in
Hollyweird. So until DITA finds it on DVD, here's the fun, campy Trailer for ya,
hon;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fmsaQ2W3Lc
Also as a Added Bonus here is more 'PEE-WEE HERMAN' doing the 'BIG SHOE DANCE'
just for u, just Click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVKsd8z6scw
Since it's Summer and most of the 'U.S.' is experiencing a 'HEAT-WAVE', DITA
thought she'd put up some PICS of my favorite 'BLONDE BOMBSHELL'
Bathing-Beauties known as the '3-M's'; MANSFIELD, MAMIE & MONROE-
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@live.com
Also these horrorifying sites as usual;
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.fangoria.com
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
('New Beverly Cinema' Hollyweird, CA.)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
(L.A., CA.)
www.cinespia.org ('Hollywood
Forever Cemetery' Outdoor Movie Screenings; This Weekend Movie- 'SATURDAY NIGHT
FEVER'.)
www.somethingweird.com
www.shoutfactory.com
(Carries Elvira's; 'MOVIE MACABRE', Pee-wee's;
PLAYHOUSE', 'MSTK' 3000', and much, much more cool, culty stuff. DITA
says check it out!)
www.trickortreatpete.blogspot.com (Check out
DITA's friend's cool Blog!!! 3 Skulls, hon!!!)
A Special Shout Out to DITA's Friend and 'JAYNE MANSFIELD-FAN' & Alumni Member
like moi, of Face Book's 'ANIMAL HOUSE REJECTS', Page run by the Fantastic;
LAUREN!
HI SHONDRA, Your simply 'PRETTY-IN-PINK' & divinly-DIVOON, Baby-doll!
www.jaynemansfield.net
www.jaynemansfield.com
www.mamievandoren.com
www.marilynmonroe.com
p.s. 'RENFIELD'; Call Dear old' DITA. we'll do lunch again, my little
'Bug-Eater'!
Again this Week, this 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' Flick Dedicated to my Dear Friend
who passed away recently this Month; TRACY HENDERSON! You are sorely missed but
forever in our hearts til' we meet again!
www.americancancersociety.com
'THE
HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'
Directed & Produced By; DEL TENNEY ('I EAT YOUR SKIN'
& 'VIOLENT MIDNIGHT')
Starring; Alice Lyon, John Scott,
Allen Laurel, Eulabelle Moore,
Marilyn Clark & Agustin Mayer
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC Dark Sky Films DVD's
(www.darkskyfilms.com)1964
Running Time; 162 minutes + Del Tenney Double Feature
'THE CURSE OF THE LIVING CORPSE'
1963
Directed, Written & Produced By; Del Tenney
Starring; (A Very Young;) ROY SCHEIDER, Helen Warren,
Margot Hartman, Robert Milli, Hugh Franklin & Candace
Hilligoss
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC. & Dark Sky Films
(Notice; This one, DITA does a 'Mini' Review on as it
is not my 'Theme' Focus.)
'Hello
Again', to all you 'Creature Feature Horror Den' Dwellers & 'DIRTNAP' Fans
alike!!! Tis I, DITA DIRT NAP!!! Your Mistress of
Monsters, Horror Flicks and all things that go bump in
the night!!!
Any-who,
now DITA, as promised, goes 'back to the beach' with my Review
of; 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' for some sizzling 'Summer' Fright-Flick
fun!!! Derek; The Vampiric Announcer asks;
'Oooooh, should I bring my
Beach Ball?' DITA answers; 'Yes, BOTH of them! Uh, did I say that
'OUT' loud??? LOL
Take a look at the way-cool, culty, vintage , campy Trailer of 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' by Clicking here, hon; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOS31j9dtoA
A-N-Y-WAY, as you may remember, many summers ago, here in the DEN, dear old' DITA Reviewed 'THE MONSTER AND THE BEACH GIRLS'! I guess my secrets out. Mizz DIRT NAP just loves Cheesy-Beach MONSTER Flicks!!!!! The cheesier, the better! DITA also promises to bring you more of them as they land, digitally remastered on DVD!!! As I squeeze into my 'Black-Widow'-'Spider Bite' Bathing Suit', and tie on it's 'Halloween-orange' swimming-suit 'wrap', complete with 'hand-cuff belt'. I slather myself with 'SUN-SCREAM', grab my little black sun glasses and the latest 'ANNE RICE' Novel, hop in our car and head out to our new 'Beach House'! In 'MALI-BOO', of course, to lay out by our 'Haunted Pool Of Horror' tonight to catch some sun-light, uh, a-hem, I mean some moon-light, now that DITA's married to a Vampire. 'B.J.' just abhors the sun, you know! LOL As I settle in my chase-lounge chair by the fog-covered pool-side, my sun glasses shoved tightly into my skull 'eye-sockets' and lifting my black-lace veil, I flip on the old' time movie projector, carefully shining it into the reflection of the 'Haunted Pool' as a make-shift 'DRIVE-IN' Screen. Watching the credits float eer-rily on top of the green-lit water, DITA grabs her big bowl of jiffy-pop, places her Daughter 'PAMELA-SCREAM' on her lap, watches '.B.J.' flexing by the pool for 'passer-bys' and begins to watch this week's 'Drive-In Favorite', 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'!!!
This
'Beach-Monster' fright-flick is from infamous 'Cult-Schlockmeister'
Director DEL TENNEY! This film is also considered by
some, to be the first 'Horror/Monster Musical'! It
features music by 'THE DEL-AIRES' and one of
DITA's favorite ditties, called 'THE ZOMBIE STOMP!' To
see 'Zombie Stomp' used in the Movie by 'The Del-Aires' along with their Song;
'Elaine' , just simply Click here kids;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0g8CCxH14g 'Love
it!!! Download it, to your water-proof 'i-pod'
tonight, my little Spider Bites!!! This 'Del Tenney
Double Feature' DVD also includes the 'UNCUT' Schlock
Version of 'T.H.O.P.B." instead of the 'sliced-up' TV
Version, which in DITA's humble opinion, is a major
PLUS for fans of 'Schlock', such as
myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other
EXTRA's on this disc are as follows;
*An Extra 'Del Tenney' Horror Film Feature; 'THE CURSE
OF THE LIVING CORPSE' w/the late Roy Scheider
('JAWS") & Candace Hilligoss ('CARNIVAL OF
SOULS').(Very Cool Film!) The Story in a
nutshell is about a family in 1892 New England, whose
family patriarch Rufus Sinclair, a well known
'control-freak', passes away, expecting his family to follow the rules
of his will to a 'T'! If they don't, he promises to come back from the
dead and kill each one of them individually, from whatever they fear
most! Is he really dead...............or alive??? Watch,
to find out!!!
*Great performance by a
young Roy Scheider! Dita just wasn't pleased with the ending.
Still, definitely worth a look!!! Watch for the cool scene with severed
head literally on a platter!!! Mizz Dirt Nap will try that dish at her
next 'Summer B-B-Q'!!! 'Tee-ha-ha-hee!" (A Special Shout 'OUT' to 4 of
DITA's friends by the way, in the 'Show-Me' State,
DEB H-P. & PATRICK SWERZICK & DOUG DRINKARD,
CINDY & CO. and in the 'south', my old
buddy & a long time 'THE CULT' and 'YOU-TUBE' Fan, 'Billy-Ray' & His 'Gal-Pal;
Lisa ! 'Hi YAll!')
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.C.O.T.L.C.' w/Del Tenney.
( Very informative, DITA says,
'worth a listen'!)
* Photo Gallery; from both Films, including
cool 'vintage' movie poster art! ( DITA loves it when original movie
poster art is included!)
*Theatrical Trailers for both films. ( DITA is more partial to the
schlocky-cool trailer from 'Horror Of Party
Beach' and will be using it on her show next Summer.)
* Interview With DEL TENNEY. (Loved it, Del retains
his youthful candor throughout!)
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.H.O.P.B.' (This is the kind of stuff fans
like DITA love to listen to!)
'The Horror Of Party Beach' for all my fellow 'Horror Hosts' is a
'public domain' feature, which of course DITA will be showing on her
Show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' in the future!
'Horror Of PARTY Beach' wuz also shown on DITA's Favorite TV Show;
'M.S.T.K.'! To see a very-cool 'Mini-Movie Version' from that TV Show
Hosting 'Horror Of Party Beach' that's a side-splitter, just Click here
'Beach-Babes'; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKo6jV7kNNk
The film starts out with 'DRAG' Race, no, not 'Rupaul's Drag-Race', (Dita doesn't know anyone who does 'drag' or do I ?) with Bikers' and 'Hot-Rodders' that of course, end up at the afore mentioned 'PARTY BEACH'! Where did you think? A nude beach, perhaps? Hardly, my little 'Coffin-Creepers'. That would change the 'Rating' altogether, hon!
Next, as the plot 'wood' have it , a barrel of radio-active waste is dumped from a passing ship and splits open on a jagged rock at the bottom of the ocean, covering a human skull with 'black-ooze' that quickly creates a 'monster-man-zombie-giant-cat-fish-thingy' with large eyes and a even larger opened mouth filled with........................'HOT-DOGS'!!!
Uh, I guess the teens from 'rock-n-roll party beach' had a giant 'WEENIE' Roast!!! 'Aaaah, DITA said 'weenie'!' 'WHAT???" Everybody likes a good, uh, 'weenie' Roast!' Right, Derek? Uh, Derek? Hello? Okay? ' Um, maybe he went to 'JOIN' those crazy kids at the 'weenie' roast??? Hope he brought his own stick?
Any-who, the silly-cheesy looking monster makes his first and most memorable attack in the movie on the 'bad-girl' of the beach who already flirted with danger by playing the 'sex-me-up' dance with one of the lead biker 'bad-boys' before swimming out to group of rocks after a fight breaks out between the beach-guys & the 'bikers' over said 'bad-girl'. As the ''weenie-roast' Monster climbs the rocks and slowly approaches, they play some 'fun-cheesy-monster-attack music'!!! The music played during this scene, sounds like either a broken fog-horn or a tuba, jammed with..............weenies! Okay, okay, I know, enough with the weenie jokes! But DITA likes hers with lots of mustard! O-k-a-y, I'll stop!
The Monster then attacks her and suck all her blood out. Camera shot of girl's leg dangling off of rocks into the water with blood/ketchup running down it! End scene! When her 'ketchup-covered-corpse', uh, oh, i mean blood-covered corpse reaches the beach, it sends the patrons of 'party beach' into hysterics and mayhem and....................... campy multiple killings ensue throughout the rest of the film!!
Some of the killings take place at an 'all girl slumber party, complete with wild 60's dance moves and strategically announced records being played while the girls toss out, pre-meditated lines like; 'Hey Suzie, what's this one called??? Jaynie; 'I don't know, whoever on this 'groovy' movie Soundtrack, silly!' Wink, wink, to the record buying audience back then, thinks DITA!!!
The Monster now has multiply-ed for some strange reason..............and as the 'beach girls' say, they 'SMELL!!!' Eeeeeeew! 'Something smells like rotting fish, Peggy-Sue? Yeah! Something smells all-right, girls. Maybe it's your acting and this movie? 'What-e-v-e-r, DITA?' Just kidding girls! A-n-y way, groovy chicks get killed left & right, always with the fun/cheesy 'When-walking-stinky-fish-sticks Attack' music 'Cues' before every kill until they figure out a way to out-smart the 'monster-zombies' as people refer to them in the film! Too much fun for this glamour-ghoul, kiddies!
Also watch
for Director Del Tenney's very way
'cool-ahead-of-their-time-artsy-close-up-shots' in the beginning of the
film of car radios, car wheels, hub caps
spinning, close-ups, etc.
These shots remind DITA of similar shots used
in the 'cult' films of the late great Director and favorite of Mizz DIRT
NAP's, Mr. RUSS MEYER! DITA loves a good ole' Monster Film
with bad acting, dated soundtracks and cool
cheap-ass Monster Suits and last but not least
a very high, all important 'CAMP' factor!!!
Del Tenney's 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' has it all! Oh, and uh..........'giant weenies'!!!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn't resist kids! DITA gives this 'Del Tenney Double Feature' DVD, 3 Skulls Out of 3 for 'The Horror Of Party Beach' just cuz I like 'schlock & roll' horror flicks with a fun, campy factor! Where else would you find a gem of a song like 'Zombie Stop', I ask you?
For
'The Curse Of The Living Corpse' DITA gives it 2 1/2
Skulls Out Of 3. I took off for the ending that left
this 'Bone-Bitch' Reviewer scratching her head, uh,
um, I mean wig! As I dry off with my 'beach-towel' and
put away my old' time movie projector until next week,
I blow all of you.....
Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA ('SURFIN' BIRD') DIRT NAP
(Too see that hysterical Video from; 'BACK TO THE
BEACH' with PEE WEE HERMAN Performing; 'SURFIN' BIRD',
just Click here my little 'Beach-Monsters';
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sMB6dye29Q
Contact me at; DearDITA@live.com
As usual check out these cool sites suggested by moi;
www.legendfilms.com
www.somethingweird.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
( New Issue @ 'Borders', etc. now.)
www.cinespia.org ('Hollywood
Forever Cemetery' Outdoor Movie Screenings all Summer in L.A.,CA.)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
( Here in L.A.,CA.)
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
(Cinema Grindhouse Festival Movie Listings & info. Hollyweird, CA.)
www.newbeverlycinema.com
www.shoutfactory.com
(Carries 'Pee-Wee Herman Show' & ''Elvira's 'MOVIE MACABRE' & Much
more. DITA highly suggests checking out their merch.)
www.fangoria.com
www.trickortreatpete.blogspot.com ( DITA
highly urges u to surf this new ultra-cool site of one of my friends!!!)
THIS REVIEW DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND WHO RECENTLY PASSED
AWAY; TRACY HENDERSON! DITA wishes u a much happier pain-free existence on the
'other-side'!!! Thanks for the Good-times and being Tina's Agent back in the
80's and for giggling when u sat next to DITA in a stall when u notice she wuz
using the facilities 'standing-up'. LMOL!!! We love u TRACY, especially
Debra-Anne!!!
'UNCLE SAM'
(I WANT YOU...DEAD!)
Directed By; William Lustig
Produced By; George G. Braunstein
Written By; LARRY COHEN ('IT'S ALIVE',
etc.)
BLUE UNDERGROUND DVD's
Starring; Bo Hopkins, Timothy Bottoms,
ISAAC HAYES (Shaft Theme, South Park's CHEF,
etc.),
P. J. SOLES (John
Carpenter's 'HALLOWEEN', etc.), Robert Forster
('JACKIE BROWN).
Run Time; 90 min. 1997 DVD
Greetings
My 'Little Spider-Bites! Tis I, Your 'BETSY ROSS of Horror' Hostess,
DITA DIRT NAP!!!
This 'Independence Day', Mizz DIRT NAP brings you a 'Star-Spangled Shocker' from the Creators of 'MANIAC COP', that's sure to be a 'BANG' called 'UNCLE SAM', I WANT YOU... DEAD! Now DITA wuz surprised to find this '4TH OF JULY-Themed Horror Flick at my local Video Store, thanks to 'Mr. M.'!' Check out the ultra 'American Scary' DVD Cover Box, complete w/'UNCLE SAM' Zombie and patriotic hat!!! Love it!!!
This fun little 'Fire-cracker' Fright-Flick is great for viewing after a long day at your local '4th Of July' Picnic and your evening of 'Frightening Fireworks Display', uh, and that yearly attack of those 'pesky-mosquitoes'! If you'll be dealing with them at the 'Drive-In', take a look by clicking here, for a helpful hint; www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6eqn-CaPyU
'Derek, 'The Vamperic-Announcer' Interrupts'; 'Are we having 'B-B-Q' 'Buzzard-Burgers' at your 4th of July Cook Out tonight? DITA Responds; 'Only if you fly after them and catch some with your fangs, Hon?' Hmmm, that reminds me, to see the very cool 'Holiday-riffic' Trailer for 'UNCLE SAM', just click here; www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LUeHWvF03s Just call me, the 'Trailer-Queen', kids!!!
Now
here's the Storyline of this 'Fire-Cracker' Flick. A
war veteran in Kuwait, is shot down to his death by 'Friendly-Fire'
(Google it.) and then found
3 years later. His wife, mother and Nephew are finally told. Said burn-up
body is brought back to the family's house for viewing/services. Now his young
Nephew wants to emulate him. Why, you may ask? Cuz he looked up to him, silly!
Little does he know that his 'Uncle Sam' wuz an Abuser/Murderous-Psychopath
who enjoyed being overly patriotic and killing for enjoyment! Long story short;
the misguided Nephew unlocks his sealed coffin.............and all 'hell' breaks
loose! Mayhem and 'misguided-patriotic murders' ensue thru out the film
by 'Uncle-Sam', the Zombie!!! He even dresses up like 'UNCLE SAM' with a
mask, to mingle & blend at the town's '4th Of July Picnic' and 'Fire-Works'
display! The nerve of him, really!!!
To cover
the rest, here are my infamous; DITA's 'Things-2-Look-4 List' as follows;
*Any Scenes with 'DITA-Faves', P.J. SOLES & the late, ISAAC HAYES!!!
* Scene with Zombie-fied 'Uncle-Sam' hand creeping out of the Coffin in the
Family's Living Room...................late at night!!! Yikes!!!
* All Murder Scenes which include; 'DEATH BY'; Eyes
being poked out and killed, Head chopped off while
potato-sack racing, Being shoved backwards on steel
fence post, Buried alive with severely broken leg for
burning
'American Flag' on 'UNCLE SAM''s Grave, Meat cleaver
to the head to fake-Abe Lincoln '4th Of July' Parade
Float, Fake George Washington's 'Cherry-chopping' tree
Axe to the chest, Noose around neck in the grave yard
and then strung up the flag pole! Half-mast,
perhaps??? (lol/rooster), Death by Fireworks Display,
uh, and being one! (Ouch!!!) Etc.,
etc.
This Movie is pretty fair for a 'Independence-Day' Fright-Film and DITA loves
the 'RED, WHITE and BLUE' Atmosphere and the 'TOM SAVINI'-ish
Zombie Make-up! Kudos 4 that one, my 'little 'smoke-bombs'!!! 'Auntie DIRT NAP'
enjoyed this unique 'holiday-horror'-film and suggests Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon
next to dear old' DITA's Review to get your own 'explosive' Copy
Tonight but first and last, here are the cool 'EXTRA'S' Included on this
Disc;
+ Audio Commentary #1 w/Director WILLIAM LUSTIG, Writer LARRY COHEN & Producer;
GEORGE G. BRAUNSTEIN.
+ Audio Commentary #2 with Director WILLIAM LUSTIG and Star; ISAAC HAYES (Done
in 1998.) (DITA highly suggests this one!)
+ Fire Stunts with Audio Commentary by Stunt Coordinator; SPIRO RAZATOS. (Hot &
'DANGEROUS' By; late Michael Jackson.)
+Theatrical Trailer (DITA's Favorite thing on all DVD's!!!)
+Poster & Still Galleries.(Love the Poster Gallery!!!)
Mizz DIRT NAP gives 'UNCLE SAM' From 'BLUE UNDERGROUND' (www.blue-underground.com) 2 1/2 SKULLS Out Of a 3 SKULLS Score!!!
As the 'Drive-In' now Shows the last Trailer playing the Patriotic 'STAR SPANGLED BANNER' (to see just that, click here;) www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttZVpRfc_Yo
What wood a '4TH OF JULY'
Celebration be without Fireworks? So here from DITA's Hometown of ST. LOUIS, MO.
(Under the infamous St. Louis Arch) is the Grande Finale
at her local Yearly 'V.P. FAIR'! 'ENJOY!!! Have a safe one my 'Little
Spider-Bites'!!! Just Click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZBeAcxXfr8
Until Next
Week, when Mizz DIRT grabs her Sun-shades, her
big Beach Ball, the Hubby & kid, and heads out to
their 'Mali-Boo' Beach-House to tell u all about the 'HORROR
OF PARTY BEACH'!
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA ('BANG-BANG') DIRT NAP
(Too see
the big 80's Music Video by; 'DEAD OR ALIVE' called
'BANG-BANG', simply Click here, hon;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE_ZUT8LSmA
Scare-mail; DearDITA@live.com
'Have a Happy & Safe 4th Of July, kids!!!'
As usual check out these DITA-Suggested sites;
www.legendfilms.com
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
( New Beverly Cinema; L.A., CA.)
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
(Los Angeles, CA.)
www.fangoria.com
www.cinespia.org ('Hollywood
Forever Cemetery' Outdoor Summer Movie Screenings;
Tonight; SALUTE to; DENNIS HOPPER with; 'EASY RIDER'.)
www.somethingweird.com
www.shoutfactory.com
www.trickortreatpete.blogspot.com (DITA
highly recommends this new Blog from my Buddy;
'TRICK OR TREAT PETE'!!! I suggest surfing it from top to bottom!!!)
Click here hon for more Vintage Drive-In Clips;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW1VluGucyI
'VAMPIRE
HONEYMOON'
From; 'Terror Tales'; Volume-1
2 Blood Sucking Epics'
'Ninja Vampire Busters'
'GEAR FILM DISTRIBUTION (INT'L.) LT.
Producer; Rover Tang, Executive Producer; Alan Tang
Assoc. Producer; Stanley Yen
Starring; Nick Chan, Simon Cheng, Stanley Fung. With; Jacky Cheung,
('Wicked City') and May Law, Vivian Leung,
Manny Tse.
Screen Play; Barry Wong, King Wong, Jeff Yuen. Action Directors; Wai
Tung & Billy Kong.
Directors; Norman Law & Stanley Siu.
DVD Released In; 2005
Genre;' Asian-Spaghetti-Horror'
'Greetings!'
My little WICKED-'Wedding Guests!' Tis I, Your
Newly-Wed of Horror, (Our Service Performed By;
'Internet Ordained'; Father-'RENFIELD',
lol) DITA DIRT NAP! Wrapping up my Month Long
Salute To 'Bridal-Themed Horror Flicks for all those 'June'-Brides
about to embark on their 'Haunted Honey-Moon's'!
So tie those last tin cans to the Bumper of
'DITA & B.J. ''Dragster-'Monster-Mobile,
and TOSS all those 'Horror-Themed'-Wedding
Gifts in the trunk (just push all those dead bodies to
the back. LOL) & THROW those bats, uh, I mean that RICE,
as we burn rubber, on the way to our;
'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'!!! Brought to you by;
'TERROR TALES'; Volume-1, as
well as the other 'Blood-Sucking' Epic on this Double
Feature Disc of 'Asian-Vampire/Horror
entitled; 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS', this time my Hubby's Video Selection.
DITA didn't nickname him 'Drive-In' ROB, for nothin!
Any-who,
'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' starts out with a handsome Asian Couple/Newly-Weds
checking into a nice Hotel Chain in China, to
start their Honeymoon. The groom is a Cop by the way,
kiddies. They check into their 'bridal suite'
that hasn't been occupied for a long time for some strange reason???
'Hmmmmmmmm?' They then begin to smell something
stinky. A dead body, perhaps??? 'I'm just sayin'! '
Then they decide to go for a walk in the park.
How sweet! The new Bride decides to go and check something out, thus
leaving the new groom strolling by himself. The new groom is then
approached by an older Female Vampire-Master (aka Vampire Buster/Slayer)
and her lovely assistant. The try and warn the
'Cop/Groom' to leave, to avoid the dangers of forth-coming
evil. Hmmm? He, being a man, doesn't listen,
thinking their just crazy kooks, out for an evening
stroll. Then I kid you not, as he's continuing his
solo-stroll, a big scary, ugly ball thing,
suddenly rolls on top of him. Knocking him down in the park-grass! No
foolin'! Please tell dear old DITA, that China
has 'pooper-scooper' laws for parks,
like the U.S.!!! Other-wise, 'Eeeeeeeew!!!
After
the creepy, weird,
giant-ball thingy finishes it 'drive-by/roll-by 'evil
transference', he is
transformed-into.....................'Vampire-Cop-Groom'!!! By the way DITA
notes that every time something evil/supernatural
happens in this 'honeymoon-horror' flick, the
character is bathed in bright green light. Must be an 'Asian-Horror'
Folk-lore thing??? DITA turned green once! Then I realized I had
stumbled into a Republican Party Fund Raiser,
then proceeded to the
nearest toilet to lose my lunch! Just a joke, my little
'coffin-creepers!' Tee-hee, tee-hee!
Back to
'V.H.'! Then 'Vampire-Groom-Cop' starts chomping down
on nearby park patrons with a vengeance, and a
pair of extra-long fangs! Cool scene!!! To make a long
story short. Here's the rest of this 'honeymoon-terror-tale'
in Mrs. Black-ula Jr. 'OUTLINE'-Form;
a.) 'Female-Ghost/Girl' dressed in a Slip, asks
'Groom-Cop-Vamp' if he will help her exact her
'REVENGE' on 'Evil-Hubby' who killed her ex-Hotel
Owner Father, then strangled her right on top of said
father in their Hotel, then burying
her in the hotel room wall! Thus the stinky
odor smelled earlier in the film.
b.) Bride & Groom decide they must help 'Female-Ghost-Gal' to exact her 'much-needed' ghostly revenge. Why, you may ask??? 'So 'ghost-girl' can cross over. Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer asks; 'Cross over to where. Bride-Zilla, uh, I mean DITA?' DITA; 'To the 'other-side', SILLY!' Geeeez! 'Don't you EVER watch 'GHOST WHISPERER?" Derek; 'What-evah?" 'A-n-y BOO!
c.) They help 'Ghost-gal' along with Miss Vamp-Buster & her assistant to exact 'her 'revenge' because ghost-gal 'evil-ex-hubby' had her sign over the rights to the hotel chain before he killed her & her father, so he 'wood' become rich! 'Just call; 1-800-recycled-plots-r-us' 4 your storyline, TODAY!' Now back to our movie.
Female-Ghost-Girl' appears (bathed in green) on
'evil-ex-hubby's' patio and ask him if he remembers her and if
he still loves
her...........and why did he 'choke-her-out'? Then she
steps closer to him, all while he's shakin' in his
boots
and she....................................................???
As I usually say, 'DITA doesn't wanna tell the 'WHOLE' story, cuz..........there is more, my little infected 'Spider-Bites'! I'll just ask if the words, 'vampire-exorcism' (steel-bowls & chicken blood and customary yellow paper vampire-tag, culturally are included.) mean anything to you??? Last but not least, let DITA add that the visual sights of China, as their are many, are horrifically stunning and some cool martial arts moves are used, although not enough for my taste. Night club camera shots of vamps dancing is also included! Only minor low point on this film are the bad edits and transitions which tend to be 'choppy & abrupt', although reminiscent of 'Ed Woods' editing skills or lack there-of. I'm just sayin', hon!' Also the actor who plays 'vampire-cop-groom' is handsome, but not as sexy as my 'B.J.' 'Aaaah!'
DITA must say, there is something to be said for a BIG, BLACK.............................................cape and a matching g-string that just MAKES the man, uh, I mean, that just makes a Vamp, more appealing to his skeleton-bride on their Honey-Moon, 'VAMPIRE-HONEYMOON' that is!!!
As for the
other 'Asian-Vamp Fright-Flick' included on this
very-cool 'double-feature' 'Terror Tales' DVD, simply
entitled, 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' Oh, before I forget,
there are no 'extras' included on either film except 'scene
selection'. 'V.H'. is spoken in Chinese but Subtitled
in English. 'N.V.B.' is over-dubbed in 'English' and
spoken in 'Chinese' which ends up making in
'campy-fun' BECAUSE of the 'English-dubbing'! 'Love it!"
That's why DITA refers to these films as 'Spaghetti-Horror' Films. You
know, done quick & cheap but still end up being
'guilty-pleasure' enjoyable! 'Ninja Vampire Busters'
is a very short but fun
'horror/martial-arts-hopping-to-person-to-person-vampire-possesion-exorsism'
flick which even includes a
'young-girl-child' in a flannel nighty catching the vampire bug, where
upon fun-chase scenes, martial-arts and cool
Asian horror & hilarity ensues. Somewhat borrowing a
piece right out of 'The Exorcist' & 'The Devil With In
Her'!
Wow! I just managed a 'Linda Blair & Joan Collins Horror Movies' Reference! 'Kudos' 4 me! 'Ninja Vampire Busters' was enjoyed by DITA just a tad more than ''V.H.' but make no mistake that both films are fright-fully fun and should be watched in the dark with 'YOUR' significant other, some left-over 'Wedding-Cake' and maybe a bottle a 'Spider-Bubbly' or as my hubby 'B.J.' suggests 'RED'-Wine, 'BLOOD'-Red, of course!
DITA gives 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' 2 and a half SKULLS out of 3 and 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' a 3 SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS perfect score!!! Loved it!
Oh by the
way, a special shout out to Robin H. and DITA's 'wiccan'
Cousin-Angela! 'Blessed-Be Cuz and 'get-wel' soon! Both, who sent their
'Congrats" to this 'Screaming -Skull' Bride and her shy-sci-fi-guy-vamp
on this extra- special-Summer for us!!! Thanks to all
of the FANS who sent their spooky 'Congrats'
via Scare-Mail! We are truly 'wickedly-blessed! Enjoy
this Double-Feature from 'Terror Tales'! Speaking of
'double-features' I gotta go slip mine into my 'honey-moon'
Nighty!!!
'Chainsaw-Kisses' to All who visit me here in the
'Creature Feature Horror DEN',
Next week, the cool '4TH OF JULY' Horror-Flick; 'UNCLE SAM'!!!
Take Scare All,
DITA ('LIKE A VIRGIN') DIRT NAP
(Too see DITA-Fave; MADONNA performing 'LIKE A
VIRGIN' way back on her first Tour back in 1985, where
she Also Performs a MICHAEL JACKSON Song; ('Billie
Jean') right in the middle of 'Like A Virgin'.
Appropriate since yesterday 6/25/10 wuz the 1 Year
Anniversary of his death. Just Click here kids;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM-9-y9eWsY )
Also to
see DITA's Favorite Michael Jackson Video & Song; 'BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR'
just Click here, Dear;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzMMfR6PR-k
Mizz
DIRT NAP also once Reviewed this other Asian Bridal-Themed Fight Flick called
'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR' and once again suggest it for your end of
'June-Gloom' Bridal Viewing Pleasure. Too own your own Copy Tonight of this
Action-packed Bridal themed Asian Horror/Romance Romp that remains a cool, culty
'crowd-pleaser, just Click on the 'DVD-Icon' of the 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR'
to the left of DITA's Review! 3 Skulls for sure!!! Too see the cool-azz Trailer
for this film to prove my point of how cool this fright flick really is, just
Click here, hon;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfeSngO2s7I
Contact me at; DearDITA@live.com
(Samantha/Madame Mortem; Contact me, DITA has a question for u, babe.)
As usual, check out these cool sites;
www.legendfilms.com
www.somethingweird.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
(For 'Cinema Grindhouse Listings here in Hollyweird, CA.)
www.fangoria.com
www.cinespia.org (
For Outdoor Movie Screeenings at 'Hollywood Forever Cemetery', here
in Los Angeles, CA.)
www.shoutfactory.com
( Carries Elvira's TV Show;'MOVIE MACABRE' & 'PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE'
Show and much more all on dvd!)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
( L.A.'s 'DRIVE-IN', uh, a real one. They even show new Movies in
3-D!!! Check listings for Tonight's Movies, my little 'Blood-Bags!')
P.S. Last but not least DITA wants to let u know that I tried to find the
Trailer for 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' but it wuz not on
'you-tube'. Take my word for it, this film makes a great 'Wedding Gift' for any
Bride & Gloom
who are 'Horror-Fans'!!!
'HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON'
PAN LATINA FILMS (SPAIN)
MERCURY FILMS (ITALY)
Image Entertainment DVD's
Directed By; MARIO BAVA
Starring; Stephen Forsyth, Dagmar Lassander, Laura
Betti, etc.
DVD 1969
Hello
My Pets,
DITA DIRT NAP here. Your 'Brides Maid of Terror', bringing you another
Bridal-Themed Tale of Horror from the Infamous Italian
Horror Director, MARIO BAVA! The film is called
'HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON', and it's got drama, drama, drama!
Let's see,
it's got a guy who designs Wedding Gowns, cascading stairwells, campy-dramatic
music, and a chase scene thru a room full of Mannequin's dressed in Wedding
Gowns. A man dressed in a Wedding Veil with
smeared make up on wielding a sharp hatchet, sounds pretty GAY to me, hon!
'HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON' reminds us of CA.'s
ongoing fight for 'GAY-MARRIAGE', since the film's about Marriage, kids! Anywho,
to see how perfectly gay-themed this film is, just take a look at the Campy but
Horr-rif-fic Trailer by simply Clicking here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_4XwT6OTSg
See what I mean? Pretty Gay, but in cool, campy horror way, Babe! Love, love it,
love it!!!
Any-who,
let me just say, Mizz DIRT NAP is a big MARIO BAVA-Fan & a Fan of Italian-Horror
in general. Now the Look of this Film is quite
impressive as are all of Mr. Bava's Films, take a look at 'HERCULES IN THE
HAUNTED WORLD', for example, beautiful lighting and sets. The Cinematography on
'H.F.T.H.' is sometimes breath taking as are the camera angles, pans, lots of
extreme Italian close-up shots, are in use here as his usual signature style. As
far as the Storyline goes...................well let's just Auntie DIRT NAP is
still confused about some parts, butt wuz still entertained none the less. The
Actors in this Bridal-Themed Fright-Flick all do a fine job, although sometimes
leaning on the Melodramatic side. You all know, by now, that DITA loves that!
Some of the slightly annoying things in the film that Mizz DIRT NAP noticed are;
A Confusing Storyline that passes around more times than my panties at an all
girl 'Slumber Party Massacre', (Horror Film reference for ya, kids...) . Now
where wuz I.............?
Oh, yes, as I became more drunk , I threw my black panties on Stage at the ROB ZOMBIE Concert, as he picked them up, he had someone escort me back-to-the, wait, uh, no, that's another Story, tee-hee. Uh, oh, yes, DITA wuz telling you about some of the slightly annoying things in this movie. Well, another one is the grating Music that's played during scenes of T-e-r-r-o-r. It sounds kind of like an alarm clock going off, over and over and you just want to hit the 'Snooze-Button'......................uh, with a sledge-hammer!!!
E-n-o-u-g-h,
with the music that sounds like a Cat being slung fast & hard thru a harp!
You see the Male Wedding-Gown Designer ( insert Gay stereo-type
here;) has been killing his Female MODELS. W-H-A-T,
NO.............'CLUTCH-THE-PEARLS'!!! He's married to a woman (www.repealprop8.com),
that makes nagging look like an 'art-form'! Eventually, it gets to be too much
for him. So he dons a Wedding Veil, sports a bad make-up job and grabs a nice,
shiny meat cleaver..........okay hatchet, 'w-h-a-t e-v-e-r, and hacks her to
death on their 'cascading stairwell'. No doubt, that wuz his own 'D.I.Y.'
Project. Hmmmmmm? The police suspect him from the 'get-go' as the start
following the trail of missing Models. In one scene he even dances with a Bride
in a room full of Bridal-Mannequins. Pushed into Marrying a woman by Society,
perhaps??? He then begins seeing his dead wife every
where....................cuz he's going crazy, you see. That one seems pulled
Straight or gay-ly from the 'Cheesy-Recycled-Plots-Are-Us' pile. To make a long
Story much shorter, he decides to incinerate her body
so she can't haunt him any more!
Well, my
little bloody 'Wedding-Crashers', that doesn't work. Cuz she's b-a-c-k! Again!
He then decides to put her ashes in a bag and 'THROW' them in the river.
The bag then mysteriously shows up again sitting on the 'Cascading-Stairwell'
where she wuz murdered! Then she decides to start
showing up in ghost-from spouting dialogue about 'NEVER' divorcing him,
'even-in-Death!!!' She even go dramatic enough to state that 'they will be
together in 'HELL!" Oh my, s-c-a-r-y! This is one scary, annoying, 'Gay-Magnet',
that doesn't even realize even in the after life the she wuz one. Uh, being
married to repressed-closeted Wedding-Gown Designer and all. You see the reality
is that he became a Wedding Gown Designer, cuz he wanted to be a BRIDE, himself.
Not to mention his hatred of woman, u know murdering them, cuz he couldn't be
one! Hmmmmmm??? Bet he wood of made a nasty 'BRIDE-ZILLA', though, thinks DITA!
LMOL!
Now for the 'EXTRA's' on this disc as follows;
+ Theatrical Trailer
+ Liner Notes
+ Director Filmography (Very detailed about Mario Bava. DITA says;
worth a look.)
+ Photo Gallery
+ Poster Gallery ( DITA likes this. Wood make great T-Shirts for the film , uh,
or Wedding Presents. LOL!)
Well Kids, I fought hard and caught the 'Black-Rose' Boo-Kay' at this
'Spook-A-Rama Wedding Reception' and as I place them in water, uh, imported from
the gulf, a-hem, DITA gives 'HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON' 2 1/2 Skulls Out Of 3. A
half a point wuz taken off for the slight 'annoyance-factor'. Still a great film
to get rid of your 'June-Gloom'! DITA suggests getting your own Copy tonight by
Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' next to Dear old' DITA's Review. F.Y.I.; I do believe
this fun fright flick is now possibly 'public-domain'.
You can bet Mizz DIRT NAP will Host it on the 'Scare-waves', here in 'Openly-Gay' West Hollywood on 'W.H.P.A.-TV'. Also just for 'WE-HO's Gay Pride, DITA says take a look at this fun, gay Horror Film Trailer for the Film; 'LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS', Click here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmRcZivttYY
Until next
week, when DITA brings you more Bridal-Themed Horror Movie fun.
'Chainsaw-Kisses',
DITA('DOVE L'AMORE') DIRT NAP
(To see that Italian-Themed Music Video to go with DITA's 'Italian Horror Movie
Review by; CHER entitled-'DOVE L'MORE; The Remix, just
Click here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7Ji5LtE8Bg
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@live.com
As usual check out these fun sites w/gay links included;
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
('Grindhouse Film Fest' Movie Listings, etc. L.A.,CA.)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
( For 'Drive-In Movie Listings in LA.,CA.)
www.fangoria.com
www.boygeorge.net
www.madonna.com
www.repealprop8.com
( Allows 'Gay-Marriage' in CA.)
www.cinespia.org (This
weekend at 'Hollywood Forever Cemetery's Outdoor Moving Screenings, they'll be
Showing the Original 'INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS'!
DITA highly suggests attending if your in the L.A.
area! Very cool! A D.J. will be Spinning records
before and after the Show, hon!)
‘BRIDE OF MONSTERMANIA’
ELVIRA Presents; ‘Monster Mania # 2’
Directed By; Kevin Burns
Produced By; Dawn Ostlund
VAN NESS FILMS, Inc.
Fox Star Productions & Fox Television Studios
&
A.M.C. ( American Movie Classics Channel)
1999 DVD
Hello Again, My Little-‘Spider-Bites’ & Welcome to the Month of JUNE! As you know by now, I, DITA DIRT NAP, have a tradition of Saluting ‘June’, by Reviewing for the whole Month, ‘Bridal-Themed Horror Films’, For all those ‘JUNE-Brides’.
This week Mizz DIRT NAP kicks it off with a Documentary That wuz made for Television back in 1999 that I thoroughly enjoyed when it aired on the ‘AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS’ Channel called ‘BRIDE OF MONSTERMANIA’!!!
It wuz of course Hosted by one of our favorite Horror Hosts of all time;
’ELVIRA!’
Now
this Documentary is not all about Bridal-Themed Horror Movies, but about Women's
place in Horror Films throughout the decades, although it does touch on 2 of
DITA’s Favorites, ‘BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN’ & ‘BRIDES OF DRACULA’. This wuz the
follow-up Sequel Documentary to ‘MONSTERMANIA’. L-o-v-e it!!! Sadly, Auntie DIRT
NAP searched high & low on ‘you-tube’ & Elvira’s own Websites for a TV Spot of
it but couldn’t find even one. I do have an Elvira Tribute Video for you later.
Now this fun but very informative Documentary starts out with ELVIRA Hosting
from a Castle, I think, complete Backlighting of; Green, red and purple!
Beautiful! She also has her standard red velvet couch, fog, candle obra’s and
Books with a Skull on top setting gothically-cool on her Night-Stand!
ELVIRA opens the Show with a joke about Weddings that goes;
Elvira- ‘I’ve never been invited to a lot of Weddings but I ‘HAVE’ been invited
to a lot of ‘Bachelor Parties!’ Bah-dump-bump! She slays me! The Tag-Line on the
DVD says; ‘FROM VAMPIRE VIXENS & WITCHES TO LAB-MADE LADIES! ‘GIRL GHOULS
GALORE! ‘SEE AN HOUR OF THE MOST FATAL FEMALES EVER TO HAUNT THE SILVER SCREAM!’
This fright-tastic Documentary is divide into 3 or 4 Sections starting with
‘VAMPIRES & WITCHES’! Don’t cha’ just love it? From here ELVIRA does mostly does
a Scare-rific & smoothly professional ‘Voice-Over’ job witch includes looks at
some of the following kick-ass female-themed fright films as follows;
‘MARK OF THE VAMPIRE’ ‘THE VAMPIRE LOVER’S’ (HAMMER FILMS);
‘DRACULA’S DAUGHTER’ ‘LUST FOR A VAMPIRE’
‘BLOOD & ROSES’ ‘TWINS OF EVIL’ ‘VAMPIRE CIRCUS’ ‘BRIDES OF DRACULA’ ‘BLACK
SUNDAY’ ‘COUNTESS DRACULA’ ’LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM’
‘DRACULA ‘(Universal 1931)
After the Vampire Segment ends ELVIRA states that ; ‘Being a Vampire really
sucks!’ ‘It’s just not natural!’ (Very funny ‘Valley-Girl’ shtick here, kids!)
Then ELVIRA moves on to; ‘FEMALE MONSTERS’; MAN-MADE- witch includes some of
these Horror-gems; ‘METROPOLIS’ ‘THE BRAIN THAT
WOULDN’T DIE’ ‘BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN‘ ‘FRANKENSTEIN
CREATED WOMAN’ ‘’SHE DEVIL’ ‘DR. JEKYLL & SISTER HYDE’
‘SHE DEMONS’ ‘THE STEPFORD WIVES’ (Original)
‘FRANKENSTEIN’S DAUGHTER’
ELVIRA then goes to what she calls; ‘WOMEN POSSESSED’,
where she takes a look at and discusses Such demonic
horror films such as; ‘WHITE ZOMBIE’
‘THE EXORCIST’ ‘BEYOND THE DOOR’
‘CARRIE’ ‘CAT PEOPLE’ (1982)
(Rumor has it Will & Jada Pinkett-Smith’s Production Company bought the
rights to re-do this Gore-y Fright Flick in time for it’s Upcoming Anniversary
in 2012. Please do a good job guys says DITA!!! Loved the Original 1942 and the
1982 Version with Natasha Kinski!!!)
Last but not least ELVIRA starts the Closing of this Excellent
Documentary-Special with a last look at; ‘WOMEN FROM OUTER SPACE’ that includes
sci-fi glances at these Films; ‘CAT WOMEN ON THE
MOON’ (DITA owns this camp-fest.) ‘DEVIL GIRL FROM
MARS’ ‘THE ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER’
‘QUEEN OF BLOOD’ ( Cool, culty Vampire
Space-romp.) ‘ALIEN’ ‘ALIENS’ ‘ALIEN 3’ ‘ALIEN 4’
(Sigourney Weaver rocks these Films, hon!!!)
ELVIRA , Our Mistress Of The Dark, then closes with her trademarked, ‘UNPLEASANT DREAMS!’
DITA loved this Documentary with ELVIRA pulling Hosting Duties, quite well & professionally, from beginning to end and is glad to own it finally on DVD and you will too! To get yours, simply Click on the ‘DVD-Icon’ next to Dear Old DITA’s Review tonight!!! DITA gives ‘BRIDE OF MONSTERMANIA’ my perfect Score of 3 Skulls Out Of 3!!!
Now while
Mizz DIRT NAP slips out of her ‘professional-ugly Brides-Maid dress and sweeps
the Church floors of rice & ‘bat-wings’, take a look at The Trailer for a
Special CULT-Film Tribute for Actress; RUE McCLANAHAN, who sadly passed away
this week called; ‘HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’ by Clicking
here.
Now this Cult-Film is hysterical but not meant to be, but as u know by now,
that’s what makes all the better.
DITA
suggests 2 different Copies. First, here is the Version I own from one of my
favorite DVD Companies, ‘SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO’.
It is labeled; ‘GOLDEN GIRL DOUBLE FEATURE’ Starring; RUE McCLANAHAN. Witch
includes 2 of her Cult-Flicks on ‘SPECIAL EDITION DVD’;
With ‘THE ROTTEN APPLE’ & ‘HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’ !!! DITA highly suggests both
Films but favors the latter! ‘HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’ has RUE PLAYING A WOMAN WHO
COMES TO Hollywood to be an Actress, but soon can’t make ends meet and has to
resort to working as a Stripper!
To see a
Clip of RUE dancing In this film from ‘you-tube’
entitled; ‘RUE’S McLANA-CANS’ (She gives Burlesque a
run for it’s money, honey.) just Click
here;
To get this Version, simply Click on the ‘DVD-Icon’ from;
’SOMETHING WEIRD’ Video, to the left of your ‘Monster-claw’!
Now
for the Other Version on DVD that DITA’s Friend; ‘THE DIL-DOE LADY’ wood Suggest
from;’ THE FILM CREW’; HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’ (2007);
Is a poke-fun look at just Rue’s very campy, Cult-Film;
’HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’ From those guys Formerly of;
’MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER’.
This Version Includes their very Funny ‘COMMENTARY’ & Hosting of this
‘not-meant-2-be’ Funny high-camp melodrama and more!
This a ‘not-2-missed’ Hosting of RUE’s biggest ‘CULT-Film’!!! Of witch DITA &
‘THE DIL-DOE LADY’ Highly suggests owning for Repeated Viewings!
The ‘FILM CREW’ Boys can be heard commenting on Rue’s Culty-Burlesque Act
on the Earlier Clip of her dancing.
To choose ‘THE FILM CREW’s Version of ‘HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK’, JUST Click on the
‘DVD-Icon’ to the Left of my Review, to own for your very own, Babe!!!
DITA wuz a big, long-time Fan of Actress; RUE McCLANAHAN and like most people
loved to watch her soar to Comic-Heights as ‘BLANCHE’
On the wonderfully funny TV Show witch still has a big cult following now more
than ever on ‘THE GOLDEN GIRLS’ ( DITA ‘RELATED’ 2 Blanche’s hyper-sexual
Prowess, uh, for some reason. LOL!). So here is
a very funny Fan-Made Music Video of RUE & BETTY WHITE ,dancing together, Set to
‘I WANNA _UCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL’ Song. It’s also from' you-tube’ and called;
‘GOLDEN GIRLS FORBIDDEN DANCE’, To see just that, Click
here;
Last but certainly not least, take a great look at a New ‘RUE McCLANAHAN TRIBUTE
VIDEO’ Also from ‘you-tube’ as well by just Clicking
here;
RUE you will be sorely missed! DITA says; ‘THANK U 4 THE TALENT & MANY BELLY
LAUGHS OVER THE YEARS!!!’
Until Next Week,
When Mizz DIRT NAP in honor of our ‘Home-Town’ of WEST HOLLYWOOD’s ‘GAY PRIDE
FESTIVAL’ here in CA., Brings u The Camp-Hammer Horror
Film; ‘THE BRIDES OF DRACULA’ ( All those Girl-Ghoul’s in such close
Coffin-Sleeping Quarters, is kind of Gay, hon! Also a good
Argument for ‘GAY-Marriage’ in CA.!!!)
‘CHAINSAW-KISSES’,
DITA (‘DARK-LADY’) DIRT NAP
( Too hear that Song by; CHER, Set to an
‘ELVIRA-Tribute Video Called;
’ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK’; ’Dark Lady’,
just Click here my
‘Little’Coffin-Creeper!’
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@live.com
As Usual
check out these Dita-Favorite-Sites;
www.somethingweird.com
www.elvira.com (Read
about Elvira’s New Cult-Movie Project. Just Click on her ‘WHAT’S NEW’ Section of
her great site!!!)
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
www.fangoria.com
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
( Drive-In Season underway here in L.A.)
www.myspace.com/grindhouse
( For ‘Grindhouse Film Festival’ Movie Listings here in L.A.)
www.cinespia.org (
‘Hollywood Forever Cemetery Outdoor Movie Screenings’ in Southern CA.)
www.lapride.org
www.amctv.com
Last 2 See ‘DITA & ‘B.J.’s’ All-time Favorite Clip witch Includes RUE McCLANAHAN
From ‘The Golden Girls’ on ‘you-tube’ called;
’GOLDEN GIRLS-CONDOM SKIT’ Just Click
here, ‘DEPENDS’ may be
needed;
This Review Dedicated to; RUE McCLANAHAN! ‘REST-IN-PEACE’.
Creature Feature © D. Dyszel 2010
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