'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA'
aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' (Italian Production)
Available in 'Adventures Of Hercules' 4-Disc Box Set-1962 (Trimark DVD) & VHS.
Starring; Dita's Idol, JAYNE MANSFIELD & her then Hunky Husband, MICKEY HARGITAY
Massimo Serato, Tina Gloriani, Rosella Como, Giulio Donnini, Arturo Bragaglia
('Gore'-juss) Costumes By; Dario Cecchi & Maria Baroni
('GORE'-juss) Sets By; Alberto Boccianti & Set Decorator; Nato Frasca
From A Story By; Alberto Mancha
Directed By; Carlo Ludovico Bragaglia
Produced By; Alberto Manca
Filmed At The Infamous; 'CINECITTA STUDIOS' in Italy. 1960
Greetings!
My little Blood-Bags. Tis I, Your 'Cyber-Space/Sex Bomb Hostess' w/the Most-est, DITA DIRT NAP! Back again this week with the' First half' of my Special 'Battle Of The Blonde Bombshells' Double-DD's Double Feature, that I call; JAYNE MANSFIELD VS. MAMIE VAN DOREN, named after their way-cool Coffee-Table Book pictorial of the same name. Available on Amazon.com, incidentally.
This week, we start off this 'Buzz-Bomb' bout with Jayne Mansfield's Culty, 'sword & sandal' Greek, Mythology/Monster Flick', now popular on 'YOU-TUBE' entitled, 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA' with her then hunky, husband, MICKEY HARGITAY ('Bloody Pit Of Horror' & 'Lady Frankenstein',etc.) playing the lead character 'Hercules'.
Then next week we have her 'sparring partner/Hollywood rival' MAMIE VAN DOREN, in the second half on this Monster Flick 'Versus' 'Double-DD's' 'Double-Feature' with her Entry of 'THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS', which by the way, kiddies, was once shown on one of DITA's Favorite past TV Shows, 'Mystery Science Theater' and once Horror Hosted by the infamous 'Sven-Ghoolie'!
Now, as most of you probably know, DITA is hugely inspired by the notorious '3 M's', which are 'Mansfield, Mamie & Monroe'!
DITA's look is inspired mostly by Miss Mansfield, of which I am a huge FAN!!! Why, you may ask? Cuz she was 'Simply-Divoon', silly! Also because she starred in a lot of 'CULT' films, which Dita adores more than the color 'pink' and of course 'leopard print' clothing.
One of her most fun 'cult-films' is one of DITA's 'LOST-EPISODES' that will be airing this fall/winter season on my show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' called 'THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD' (available on 'Something Weird' w/Boris Karloff's 'Mondo Balardo' as a second bill) that Mizz DIRT NAP Hosted but was lost before it was edited to be aired..........
BUT has recently been found and will finally be edited for airing at long last from 2004.
Now, on to the fun & never boring 'Cult-Hit' from Jayne, 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA'! 'Ooooooooh, 'Greek-Mythology', gladiator sandals, and a 3-Headed Hydra, you kids are gonna thank 'Auntie DIRT-NAP' in the morning! Let me first just say that Mickey Hargitay was a total hunk in this movie and will now be officially listed in my new 'little black-book' of fantasy crushes that were written in my recent 'Wedding Vows', of which doing windows, dishes and 'obeying' anyone are 'NOT' included! 'Tee-hee!' This 'cult-camp-fav' should be watched as a 'Mid-Nite Movie' with lot's of popcorn & a nice new pair of trendy 'gladiator sandals' on your feet. DITA must tell you that Miss Mansfield's breasts in this Monster Flick are so large and propped up that you could almost show the movie on them, if she were to stand still for the 'running-time' and just 'breathe-hard', she'll hear you ('Insert Jayne's Signature-Squeal, here.)!!!'
Jayne playing Queen 'Die-A-Nar-Rah, in a black wig is beautiful and sexy, if not 'over-the-top', in the best way possible. She plays dual characters, which means 3 wig changes, black, red and even purple, no foolin'!!! DITA owns 3 wigs in those colors as well and will be wearing them, one by one while Hosting this campy, cult flick on 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' this season. Along with my afore mentioned pet rat, aptly named 'MANSFIELD', complete w/pink tail and pink-bouffant hair piece & leopard-print collar!
'WHAT!!!' My pet rat can't have any 'taste' or 'style', what-so-ever???" Derek, The Vamperic Announcer interrupts, 'Let's get back to your Review, shall we?' DITA asks; 'Do you have a problem with us, Derek?' Derek; 'I guess I DO!'
Now where was I?" Oh, yes, the story line. Uh-hem. First Hercules wife is killed while he is out, by some shifty-Greek-thug types. When he finds out he sets out to get his revenge. He then meets the bra-bustin' Queen 'Die-A-Nar-Rah' (DITA read somewhere that Mansfield was pregnant at the time of filming and full of vitamin D', if ya get my drift and had to be cinched in round her waist with a metal-boning corset) which by the bi, every character in this film pronounces her character's name differently.
Hmmmmm, any-who, the plot and storyline at this juncture became a little confusing to this big-busted glamour-ghoul, 'BUT' still held my attention throughout the rest of this 'camp-fest' that Mizz DIRT NAP can't praise enough, or push you enough to see, uh, or a, purchase by clicking on the DVD Icon next to dear old' DITA's Review. The only place I found this fun 'sword & sandal' cult-saga on DVD was in the 'The Adventures Of Hercules' 4-Disc Box Set from 'TRIMARK'. although it is available on VHS by itself on 'Amazon' as well.
'DITA's 'Things To Look For' Out-Line;
** Jayne as the Evil Queen of the Amazons, in a red wig, who has turned herself into a look-a-like of Queen 'Die-Ahh-Near-Rah' , with the help of a 'sourcer-ress'/witch bee-cuz Hercules now has the 'hots' for 'Dee-Uh-Nar-A'! Uh, didn't his wife recently croak, by the blade of a sharp sword, recently??? What? No mourning period? DITA guess's not!!!
** Hercules ends up outside of the black-wiggged Queen's hood, Arcadia. Thus running into the cave looking for the 'Greek-thug-dude' who was responsible for his wife's recent death, instead finding a 3-Headed Hydra, that looks like a bad cheesy 'Chinese new year's float that happens to have the afore-mentioned 'Greek-thug-dude' hilariously in it's jaws, one-out-of-three heads, mind you and starts trying to slay it, but is hysterically bumped by one of it's heads. Now watch when Mickey/Hercules is bumped by this too-funny mon-stros-ity. He kind of does a fake stumble, likes it's really a heavy thump to his muscular body, that looks almost better in skirts than DITA does, by the way!!!( This is one of the reasons this film is on 'you-tube'!) LOVE IT!!! He does end up succeeding in chopping off on of the 'Hydra's three heads.' After all, plastic is recyclable, isn't it???'
** Any & all scenes where 'Hercules/Mickey' is running & jumping, falling or flipping over. 'Why, you ask?' So DITA could use her 'slow-mo' button on the DVD remote and at the same time, click the highest level on her 'zoom' button, to see if a 'beefy-butt-cheek' fell out or any other flying appendage could be seen, silly!!! What? As I stated before, 'I'm married, NOT dead.........uh, dead again, I mean!' 'Oh, my!'
** Any scene with Monsters.! 'Fun, fun, fun!!!' Let's see, there's a now 2-headed Hydra, a big, tall, hairy 'o-grrr' that looks more like a 'Greek-yetti' with big comical teeth. You know, the kind of fake, wax looking teeth you used to by at your local candy store, back in the 70's,to play with and eventually chew on?'
** Any scenes with Jayne/Good, Queen/Evil Amazon Queen writhing and posing dramatically, exiting dramatically, acting dramatically!!!' Ya gotta love it!!! She also likes to 'heath' her chest dramatic-ly as well! Too funny, and wasn't meant to be, but this kind of stuff just makes it fun & enjoyable!!! Miss Mansfield must have had a 'gaggle' of gay friends in her lifetime and even more
'gay' fans now! 'Drag Queens, please take note of how to perform in your next engagement, from Jayne's mostly 'campy' performance in this pic!!! And DITA means that in a good way, as I am a 'die-hard' fan and excitedly collect her films as they slowly land one by one on DVD, such as this cult-GEM!!!
** Scene where 'Evil Amazon Queen/Jayne in said 'red-wig' is trying hard to seduce the mighty 'Hercules' with her eyes!!! Miss Mansfield won many Beauty Queen Titles in her life time like; 'Miss Eight-Ball' & 'Miss Photo-Flash', 'Miss Fire-Cracker' and even 'Miss Cadillac', but never one as 'MISS EYE-POP'-1960', which she could have for this comic seduction scene where she heavily keeps 'popping' her eyes for all she's worth!' 'Again, LOVE it!!!'
** One of the end scenes where the Evil Amazon Queen/Jayne, again, red wig still pinned on tight, goes to her 'Valley Of The Old
Boyfriends 'who-spurned-her-and-were-turned-into- un-scary-Tree/Monsters' with her witch pal and is attacked by one the 'Ex-Boyfriend' Tree-Monsters'!!! Funny but 'KARMA' is a bitch!
Anyway, as I always say, DITA won't tell the rest of this 'Greek' mythology story or the ending but I will say that Jayne Mansfield and hubby Mickey Hargitay were fine specimens, the 'Tarzan' & 'Jane' of 'Hollywood', if you will! With this film, there is a happily ever after, BUT for whom? 'Hmmm?"
Here are the 'EXTRA'S' on this DVD 'Box-Set' of; 'The Adventures of Hercules' which DITA has only focused on for this Review of 'Hercules VS. The Hydra'! Now I can't wait to view the other 'Hercules' Flicks included in this Collection which are as follows;
*'LION OF THEBES'
*'THE TROJAN HORSE'
*'MEDUSA AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES' ( Cool! Can't wait!)
*'THE TRIUMPH OF HERCULES'
*'HERCULES VS. THE SONS OF THE SUN'
*'HERCULES VS. THE MOLOCH'
* Very 'way-cool' TRAILERS of all of the films included in 'The Adventures Of Hercules' ( DITA enjoyed watching all of these
Trailers while munching 'MUCH' popcorn!)
DITA found this film very enjoyable to watch and was not bored for one moment! Isn't that what a films supposed to do, cult or not??? JAYNE & MICKEY have a 'Cult-Hit' on their on their hands, and Mizz DIRT NAP thanks them for that, my little 'Coffin-Creepers' and so will you!!! I have always loved and been a fan of Jayne Mansfield's & Mickey Hargitay's, especially his
Horror Films 'Bloody Pit Of Horror' and rest assured DITA will be Reviewing it in the near future as well as Mario Bava's 'HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD' which is another wonderful 'Hercules' Greek Mythology-Fantasy-Adventure Film as well!
Mizz DIRT NAP also loves the corny-ness of 'THE THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES' too! Just my 2 Cents, for what it's worth! A pun, perhaps? Please check out the NEW, 'well-written' paperback BOOK by a 'Super-sweet Jayne Fan', that DITA highly suggests for a good read, entitled 'DIAMONDS TO DUST'; THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JAYNE MANSFIELD' By; FRANK FERRUCCIO which is full of some rare photos and is also available on Amazon.com, www.jaynemansfield.com as well as his beautiful website all about 'Jayne' @ WWW.JAYNEMANSFIELD.NET and on my little 'beginners' web site www.DitaDirtNap.net located at the very bottom of my Review.
Also check out my Internet-friend & Jayne-Fan Buddy', named Christa's web site @ www.pinkpages.com for all things Jayne!
A Special 'Shout' to all the 'Online Jayne Mansfield Fan Clubs, especially Kim Rosenthal and Frank Ferruccio, especially your heart-felt Book for all the hard and dedicated work you guys do for all of us Jayne FANS around the globe!!! 'KUDOS!!!
DITA DIRT NAP gives 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA' aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' a perfect score of 3 'Culty' SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS Score! As Jayne Mansfield's 'heart -shaped' Tombstone reads 'We Live To Love You More Each Day'! 'R.I.P.'
Remember next week, it's 'round 2' of the Blonde Bombshell' Monster Flicks w/MAMIE VAN DOREN's camp-horror-fest;
'THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS'! See ya then, 'Chainsaw Kisses & 'Chi-Wah-Wah's,'
DITA ('Pink-Palace') DIRT NAP
P.S.
The part about filming 'Hercules VS. The Hydra' aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' in the book 'Diamonds To Dust' is on Page # 22 and the Book is from 'Outskirts Press'.
www.jaynemansfield.net
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
SCARE-MAIL 4 DITA;
DearDITA@webtv.net
www.DitaDirtNap.net
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'
Directed & Produced By; DEL TENNEY ('I EAT YOUR SKIN' & 'VIOLENT MIDNIGHT')
Starring; Alice Lyon, John Scott, Allen Laurel, Eulabelle Moore, Marilyn Clark & Agustin Mayer
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC
Dark Sky Films DVD's (www.darkskyfilms.com)
1964 Running Time; 162 minutes
+Del Tenney Double Feature+
'The Curse Of The Living Corpse' 1963
Directed, Written & Produced By; Del Tenney
Starring; (A Very Young;) ROY SCHEIDER, Helen Warren, Margot Hartman, Robert Milli, Hugh Franklin & Candace Hilligoss
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC. & Dark Sky Films
(Notice; DITA does a 'Mini' Review on this one, as it is not my 'Theme' Focus.)
'Hello Again', to all you 'Creature Feature Horror Den' Dwellers & 'DIRT NAP' Fans alike!!!
Tis I, DITA DIRT NAP!!! Your Mistress of Monsters, Horror Flicks and all things that go bump in the night!!!' And by 'things that go BUMP in the night', I don't mean 'B.J'. and I, on our recent 'Honey Moon' night! 'Tee-Hee!!!' Thank you for joining all of us here at 'Count Gore De Vol's' 'CREATURE FEATURE WEEKLY WEB PROGRAM'! As we celebrate this auspicious occasion of the Program's 10th Year ANNIVERSARY!!!
My, my, has it been ten years already? I guess with the lovable 'COUNT GORE' at the helm, running this 'Internet-Ghost Ship' Program (so to speak.) and cracking that lovable whip, to all of his honorable minions, of which there are many, that 'TIME' really 'DOES' fly, when your having FUN!!!' So DITA wants to take this time to wish this vonderful 'program', 'Creature Feature' and it's Creator, who for '10 Years' has wanted 'all your BLOOD, to be warm............and My Mentor, 'COUNT GORE DE VOL' a very 'HAPPY 10th YEAR ANNIVERSARY'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!! 'Here's to 10 more, plus!!!!!!!!
'RENFIELD' & I, were going to buy the COUNT a new Coffin for the occasion, but the Dealership informed us that they no longer make a Coffin that transforms into a 'HOT TUB' on wheels, equipped with 'LAVA LAMPS' in 'Blood-Bath RED"??? Hmmmmmm?
Any-who, now DITA, as promised, goes 'back to the beach' with my Review of; 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' for some sizzling 'Summer' Fright-Flick fun!!! Derek; The Vampiric Announcer asks; 'Oooooh, should I bring my Beach Ball?' DITA answers; 'Yes, BOTH of them! Uh, did I say that 'OUT' loud??? LOL
A-N-Y-WAY, as you may remember, many summers ago, here in the DEN, dear old' DITA Reviewed 'THE MONSTER AND THE BEACH GIRLS'! I guess my secrets out. Mizz DIRT NAP just loves Cheesy-Beach MONSTER Flicks!!!!! The cheesier, the better! DITA also promises to bring you more of them as they land, digitally re-mastered on DVD!!! As I squeeze into my
'Black-Widow'-'Spider Bite' Bathing Suit', and tie on it's 'Halloween-orange' swimming-suit 'wrap', complete with 'hand-cuff belt'.
I slather myself with 'SUN-SCREAM', grab my little black sun glasses and the latest 'ANNE RICE' Novel, hop in our car and head out to our new 'Beach House'! In 'MALI-BOO', of course, to lay out by our 'Haunted Pool Of Horror' tonight to catch some sun-light, uh, a-hem, I mean some moon-light, now that DITA's married to a Vampire. 'B.J.' just abhors the sun, you know! LOL As I settle in my chase-lounge chair by the fog-covered pool-side, my sun glasses shoved tightly into my skull 'eye-sockets' and lifting my black-lace veil, I flip on the old' time movie projector, carefully shining it into the reflection of the 'Haunted Pool' as a make-shift 'DRIVE-IN' Screen. Watching the credits float eer-rily on top of the green-lit water, DITA grabs her big bowl of jiffy-pop, places her new pet rat, 'MANSFIELD' on her lap and begins to watch this week's 'Drive-In Favorite', 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'!!!
This 'Beach-Monster' fright-flick is from infamous 'Cult-Schlockmeister' Director DEL TENNEY! This film is also considered by some, to be the first 'Horror/Monster Musical'! It features music by 'THE DEL-AIRES' and one of DITA's favorite ditties, called 'THE ZOMBIE STOMP'! 'Love it!!! Download it, to your water-proof 'I-pod' tonight, my little Spider Bites!!! This 'Del Tenney Double Feature' DVD also includes the 'UNCUT' Schlock Version of 'T.H.O.P.B." instead of the 'sliced-up' TV Version, which in DITA's humble opinion, is a major PLUS for fans of 'Schlock', such as myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other EXTRA's on this disc are as follows;
*An Extra 'Del Tenney' Horror Film Feature; 'THE CURSE OF THE LIVING CORPSE' w/the late Roy Scheider ('JAWS") & Candace Hilligoss ('CARNIVAL OF SOULS').(Very Cool Film!)
The Story in a nutshell is about a family in 1892 New England, whose family patriarch Rufus Sinclair, a well known 'control-freak', passes away, expecting his family to follow the rules of his will to a 'T'! If they don't, he promises to come back from the dead and kill each one of them individually, from whatever they fear most! Is he really dead...............or alive??? Watch, to find out!!! Great performance by a young Roy Scheider! Dita just wasn't pleased with the ending. Still, definitely worth a look!!! Watch for the cool scene with severed head literally on a platter!!! Mizz Dirt Nap will try that dish at her next 'Summer B-B-Q'!!! 'Tee-ha-ha-hee!" (A Special Shout 'OUT' to 4 of DITA's friends by the way, in the 'Show-Me' State, JENNI OLSON & PATRICK
SWERZICK & DOUG DRINKARD & CINDY & CO. and 5th in the 'south', my old buddy & a long time 'THE CULT' and 'YOU-TUBE' Fan, 'Billy-Ray' ! 'Hi All!')
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.C.O.T.L.C.' w/Del Tenney. (Very informative, DITA says, 'worth a listen'!)
* Photo Gallery; from both Films, including cool 'vintage' movie poster art! (DITA loves it when original movie poster art is included!)
*Theatrical Trailers for both films. ( DITA is more partial to the schlocky-cool trailer from 'Horror Of Party Beach' and will be using it on her show.)
* Interview With DEL TENNEY. (Loved it, Del retains his youthful candor throughout!)
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.H.O.P.B.' (This is the kind of stuff fans like DITA love to listen to!)
'The Horror Of Party Beach' for all my fellow 'Horror Hosts' is a 'public domain' feature, which of course DITA will be showing on her Show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' in the future!
The film starts out with 'DRAG' Race, (Dita doesn't know anyone who does 'drag' or do I ?) with Bikers' and 'Hot-Rodders' that of course, end up at the afore mentioned 'PARTY BEACH'! Where did you think? A nude beach, perhaps? Hardly, my little 'Coffin-Creepers'. That would change the 'Rating' altogether, hon! Next, as the plot 'wood' have it , a barrel of radio-active waste is dumped from a passing ship and splits open on a jagged rock at the bottom of the ocean, covering a human skull with 'black-ooze' that quickly creates a 'monster-man-zombie-giant-cat-fish-thingy' with large eyes and a even larger opened mouth filled
with........................'HOT-DOGS'!!!
Uh, I guess the teens from 'rock-n-roll party beach' had a giant 'WEENIE' Roast!!! 'Aaaah, DITA said 'weenie'!' 'WHAT???" Everybody likes a good, uh, 'weenie' Roast!' Right, Derek? Uh, Derek? Hello? Okay? ' Um, maybe he went to 'JOIN' those crazy kids at the 'weenie' roast??? Hope he brought his own stick? Any-who, the silly-cheesy looking monster makes his first and most memorable attack in the movie on the 'bad-girl' of the beach who already flirted with danger by playing the 'sex-me-up' dancewith one of the lead biker 'bad-boys' before swimming out to group of rocks after a fight breaks out between the beach-guys & the 'bikers' over said 'bad-girl'. As the ''weenie-roast' Monster climbs the rocks and slowly approaches, they play some 'fun-cheesy-monster-attack music'!!!
The music played during this scene, sounds like either a broken fog-horn or a tuba, jammed with..............weenies! Okay, okay, I know, enough with the weenie jokes! But DITA likes hers with lots of mustard! O-k-a-y, I'll stop! The Monster then attacks her and suck all her blood out. Camera shot of girl's leg dangling off of rocks into the water with blood/ketchup running down it! End scene! When her 'ketchup-covered-corpse', uh, oh, I mean blood-covered corpse reaches the beach, it sends the patrons of 'party beach' into hysterics and mayhem and....................... campy multiple killings ensue throughout the rest of the film!!
Some of the killings take place at an 'all girl slumber party, complete with wild 60's dance moves and strategically announced records being played while the girls toss out, pre-meditated lines like; 'Hey Suzie, what's this one called??? Jaynie; 'I don't know, whoever on this 'groovy' movie Soundtrack, silly!' Wink, wink, to the record buying audience back then, thinks DITA!!! The Monster now has multiply-ed for some strange reason..............and as the 'beach girls' say, they 'SMELL!!!' Eeeeeeew! 'Something smells like rotting fish, Peggy-Sue? Yeah! Something smells all-right, girls. Maybe it's your acting and this movie?
'What-e-v-e-r, DITA?' Just kidding girls! A-n-y way, groovy chicks get killed left & right, always with the fun/cheesy 'When-walking-stinky-fish-sticks Attack' music 'Cues' before every kill until they figure out a way to out-smart the 'monster-zombies' as people refer to them in the film! Too much fun for this glamour-ghoul, kiddies! Also watch for Director Del Tenney's very way
'cool-ahead-of-their-time-artsy-close-up-shots' in the beginning of the film of car radios, car wheels, hub caps spinning, close-ups, etc.
These shots remind DITA of similar shots used in the 'cult' films of the late great Director and favorite of Mizz DIRT NAP's, Mr. RUSS MEYER! DITA loves a good ole' Monster Film with bad acting, dated soundtracks and cool cheap-ass Monster Suits and last but not least a very high, all important 'CAMP' factor!!! Del Tenney's 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' has it all! Oh, and uh..........'giant weenies'!!!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn''t resist kids! DITA gives this 'Del Tenney Double Feature' DVD, 3 Skulls Out of 3 for 'The Horror Of Party Beach' just cuz I like 'schlock & roll' horror flicks with a fun, campy factor! Where else would you find a gem of a song like 'Zombie Stomp', I ask you? For 'The Curse Of The Living Corpse' DITA gives it 2 1/2 Skulls Out Of 3. I took off for the ending that left this 'Bone-Bitch' Reviewer scratching her head, uh,um, I mean wig!
Again, 'HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY' to COUNT GORE & his 'Creature Feature' Web Program that DITA is proud to be
a part of! 'Let's go 'WEB-SURFIN' now, everybody's learnin' how, come on and go 'web-surfin' with me at WWW.COUNTGORE.COM
As I dry off with my 'beach-towel' and put away my old' time movie projector until next week, I blow all of you.....
Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA ('Zombie-Stomp') DIRT NAP
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@webtv.net
p.s.
Check out my 'grass-roots' 'low-budget/no-budget' web site, soon-2-be-expanded
@ www.DitaDirtNap.net
or just click here for DITA's
favorite 'Horror/Cult' web links, etc.
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'
From; 'Terror Tales'; Volume-1
Two Blood Sucking Epics'
'Ninja Vampire Busters'
'GEAR FILM DISTRIBUTION (INT'L.) LT.
Producer; Rover Tang, Executive Producer; Alan Tang
Assoc. Producer; Stanley Yen
Starring; Nick Chan, Simon Cheng, Stanley Fung. With; Jacky Cheung ('Wicked City') and
May Law, Vivian Leung, Manny Tse.
Screen Play; Barry Wong, King Wong, Jeff Yuen.
Action Directors; Wai Tung & Billy Kong.
Directors; Norman Law & Stanley Siu.
DVD Released In; 2005
Genre; 'Asian-Spaghetti-Horror'
'Greetings!'
My little WICKED-'Wedding Guests!'
Tis I, Your Newly-Wed of Horror, (Our Service Performed By; 'Internet Ordained'; Father-'RENFIELD', lol) DITA DIRT NAP! Wrapping up my Month Long Salute To 'Bridal-Themed Horror Flicks for all those 'June'-Brides about to embark on their 'Haunted Honey-Moon's'! So tie those last tin cans to the Bumper of 'DITA & B.J. ''Dragster-'Monster-Mobile, and TOSS all those 'Horror-Themed'-Wedding Gifts in the trunk (just push all those dead bodies to the back. LOL) & THROW those bats, uh, I mean that RICE, as we burn rubber, on the way to our; 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'!!! Brought to you by; 'TERROR TALES'; Volume-1, as well as the other 'Blood-Sucking' Epic on this Double Feature Disc of 'Asian-Vampire/Horror entitled; 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS', this time my Hubby's Video Selection. DITA didn't nickname him 'Drive-In' ROB, for nothin!
Any-who, 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' starts out with a handsome Asian Couple/Newly-Weds checking into a nice Hotel Chain in China, to start their Honeymoon. The groom is a Cop by the way, kiddies. They check into their 'bridal suite' that hasn't been occupied for a long time for some strange reason??? 'Hmmmmmmmm?' They then begin to smell something stinky. A dead body, perhaps??? 'I'm just sayin'! ' Then they decide to go for a walk in the park. How sweet! The new Bride decides to go and check something out, thus leaving the new groom strolling by himself. The new groom is then approached by an older Female Vampire-Master (aka Vampire Buster/Slayer) and her lovely assistant. They try and warn the 'Cop/Groom' to leave, to avoid the dangers of forth-coming evil. Hmmm? He, being a man, doesn't listen, thinking their just crazy kooks, out for an evening stroll. Then I kid you not, as he's continuing his solo-stroll, a big scary, ugly ball thing, suddenly rolls on top of him. Knocking him down in the park-grass! No foolin'! Please tell dear old DITA, that China has 'pooper-scooper' laws for parks, like the U.S.!!!
Other-wise, 'Eeeeeeeew!!! After the creepy, weird, giant-ball thingy finishes it 'drive-by/roll-by 'evil transference', he is transformed-into.....................'Vampire-Cop-Groom'!!! By the way DITA notes that every time something evil/supernatural happens in this 'honeymoon-horror' flick, the character is bathed in bright green light. Must be an 'Asian-Horror' Folk-lore thing??? DITA turned green once! Then I realized I had stumbled into a Republican Party Fund Raiser, then proceeded to the nearest toilet to lose my lunch! Just a joke, my little 'coffin-creepers!' Tee-hee, tee-hee! Back to 'V.H.'!
Then 'Vampire-Groom-Cop' starts chomping down on nearby park patrons with a vengeance, and a pair of extra-long fangs! Cool scene!!! To make a long story short. Here's the rest of this 'honeymoon-terror-tale' in Mrs. Black-ula Jr. 'OUTLINE'-Form;
a.) 'Female-Ghost/Girl' dressed in a Slip, asks 'Groom-Cop-Vamp' if he will help her exact her 'REVENGE' on 'Evil-Hubby'
who killed her ex-Hotel Owner Father, then strangled her right on top of said father in their Hotel, then burying her in the hotel room wall! Thus the stinky odor smelled earlier in the film. b.) Bride & Groom decide they must help 'Female-Ghost-Gal' to exact her 'much-needed' ghostly revenge. Why, you may ask??? 'So 'ghost-girl' can cross over. Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer asks; 'Cross over to where. Bride-Zilla, uh, I mean DITA?' DITA; 'To the 'other-side', SILLY!' Geeeez! 'Don't you EVER watch 'GHOST WHISPERER?" Derek; 'What-evah?" 'A-n-y BOO! c.) They help 'Ghost-gal' along with Miss Vamp-Buster & her assistant to exact 'her 'revenge' because ghost-gal 'evil-ex-hubby' had her sign over the rights to the hotel chain before he killed her & her father, so he 'wood' become rich! 'Just call; 1-800-recycled-plots-r-us' 4 your storyline, TODAY!' Now back to our movie.
Female-Ghost-Girl' appears ( bathed in green) on 'evil-ex-hubby's' patio and ask him if he remembers her and if he still loves her...........and why did he 'choke-her-out'? Then she steps closer to him, all while he's shakin' in his boots and she...................??? As I usually say, 'DITA doesn't wanna tell the 'WHOLE' story, cuz..........there is more, my little infected 'Spider-Bites'! I'll just ask if the words, 'vampire-exorcism' (steel-bowls & chicken blood and customary yellow paper vampire-tag, culturally are included.) mean anything to you???
Last but not least, let DITA add that the visual sights of China, as their are many, are horrifically stunning and some cool martial arts moves are used, although not enough for my taste. Night club camera shots of vamps dancing is also included! Only minor low point on this film are the bad edits and transitions which tend to be 'choppy & abrupt', although reminiscent of 'Ed Woods' editing skills or lack there-of. I'm just sayin', hon!' Also the actor who plays 'vampire-cop-groom' is handsome, but not as sexy as my 'B.J.' 'Aaaah!' DITA must say, there is something to be said for a BIG, BLACK.............................................cape and a matching g-string that just MAKES the man, uh, I mean, that just makes a Vamp, more appealing to his skeleton-bride on their Honey-Moon, 'VAMPIRE-HONEYMOON' that is!!!
As for the other 'Asian-Vamp Fright-Flick' included on this very-cool 'double-feature' 'Terror Tales' DVD, simply entitled, 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS'....Oh, before I forget, there are no 'extras' included on either film except 'scene selection'. 'V.H'. is spoken in Chinese but Subtitled in English. 'N.V.B.' is over-dubbed in 'English' and spoken in 'Chinese' which ends up making in 'campy-fun' BECAUSE of the 'English-dubbing'! 'Love it!" That's why DITA refers to these films as 'Spaghetti-Horror' Films. You
know, done quick & cheap but still end up being 'guilty-pleasure' enjoyable! 'Ninja Vampire Busters' is a very short but fun 'horror/martial-arts-hopping-to-person-to-person-vampire-possesion-exorsism' flick which even includes a 'young-girl-child' in a flannel nighty catching the vampire bug, where upon fun-chase scenes, martial-arts and cool Asian horror & hilarity ensues. Somewhat borrowing a piece right out of 'The Exorcist' & 'The Devil With In Her'!
Wow! I just managed a 'Linda Blair & Joan Collins Horror Movies' Reference! 'Kudos' 4 me! 'Ninja Vampire Busters' was enjoyed by DITA just a tad more than ''V.H.' but make no mistake that both films are fright-fully fun and should be watched in the dark with 'YOUR' significant other, some left-over 'Wedding-Cake' and maybe a bottle a 'Spider-Bubbly' or as my hubby 'B.J.' suggests 'RED'-Wine, 'BLOOD'-Red, of course!
DITA gives 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' 2 and a half SKULLS out of 3 and 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' a 3 SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS perfect score!!! Loved it!
Oh by the way, a special shout out to Robin H. and DITA's 'wiccan' Cousin-Angela! 'Blessed-Be Cuz and 'get-wel' soon! Both, who sent their 'Congrats" to this 'Screaming -Skull' Bride and her shy-sci-fi-guy-vamp on this extra- special-Summer for us!!! Thanks to all of the FANS who sent their spooky 'Congrats' via Scare-Mail! We are truly 'wickedly-blessed! Enjoy this Double-Feature from 'Terror Tales'! Speaking of 'double-features' I gotta go slip mine into my 'honey-moon' Nighty!!!
'Chainsaw-Kisses' to All who visit me here in the 'Creature Feature Horror DEN',
Next week, it's 'Back To The Beach', 'The Horror Of Party Beach' that is! Take Scare All,
DITA (Wedding-March) DIRT NAP
p.s.Scare Mail; DearDITA@webtv.net
Check out the 'way-cool' DVD Box Cover-ART for 'Terror Tales'! DITA thinks it would make great a T-Shirt or Large-Size Poster for our Foyer.
Tee-hee! By the way we're Registered @ 'Hot Topics' ! Just Kidding, my little 'Groovy-Ghoulies'.
Thanks to Count Gore for his gift of matching
'his' & 'hers'
'CountGore.com' T-Shirts in BLACK (xxl & m) L.O.L.
As always please web-surf @
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
& WWW.SCARYMONSTERSMAG.COM
Check out their fright-fully cool new, 'SCARE 'N' ROLL BASH ISSUE # 67 on New- Stands now with 'DON SULLIVAN'
& 'JEANNIE CARMEN' on the Cover! Great Job on this fang-tastic Issue and all the hard work of the Publisher & Editor-In-Chief, Mr. Dennis Druktenis! Send some scare-mail to let him know of the good work , he and his STAFF put into each Issue just to show your appreciation!!! Tell em' DITA sent cha, LOL
Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb
One of the more unique and creative independent low budget films landed in my DVD player recently. Imagine a newly produced film staring Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., Lionel Atwill, Peter Lorre, George Zucco, Barbara Stanwyck, playing opposite Leanna Chamish (who makes a wonderfully wicked Queen) and a host of Baltimore based actors. Well, you don't have to imagine too hard, just pick up the DVD, "Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb."
Producer Gary Svehla and director Susan Svehla have used modern technology that was available only to Hollywood a few years ago to create a film that has the look and feel of some of those classic black and white films of the 30's that we love so much. Using "green screen", digital photography and editing they were able to put their actors into scenes that are just graphic representations, have them interact with a number long dead stars and a create a variety of unique combinations. The look is classic horror-noir.
The story itself goes back to Lugosi's "Chandu the Magician" for many of it's aspects. A group of not too reputable archeologists break into an Egyptian tomb and unleash a killer curse. Soon, spunky newspaper reporter Fay Kendal is leading a group of adventurers on a quest from London to Scotland and finally Egypt to find the missing Rick Banning, who may have discovered the missing city of Lemuria and it's evil and newly resurrected Queen Amanetor.
As one of my friends put it, "This is a great Saturday afternoon popcorn film!"
While I certainly admire the creativity and effort that went into making this film, I also have to point out that the film makers really bit off more than they could chew in some cases. Such things as CGI fire and smoke don't work well in Hollywood and aren't any better here. The acting goes from tongue in cheek to way over the top. Some of the scenes with classic stars seemed forced....a lot! But no one is going to buy this film for it's production values. They're going to buy it and watch it with a BIG tub of popcorn because it's fun and brings back memories of movies like they don't make anymore.
So, the next time you're looking for a guilty pleasure DVD, check out "Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb."
Count Gore De Vol
'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2'
(Asian/Fantasy/Martial Arts/Horror-Drama)
A 'MANDARIN FILMS Production
Directed By; DAVID WU (A Chinese Ghost Story/editor, DR. VAMPIRE, actor,
JOHN WOO's; 'ONCE A THIEF'-TV; editor, etc.)
Executive Produced By; Ronny Yu ( Director Of; 'Bride With White Hair' Part1 & 'Bride Of Chucky', etc.)
Starring; Brigitte Lin Ching Hsia ('Chungking Express') , Christy Chung,
Leslie Cheung ('Farewell My Concubine'), etc.
'SPECIAL WIDESCREEN PRESENTATION' DVD 1993
Hello Once Again, My Creepy little 'WEDDING CRASHERS'! Tis I, your 'NIGHT-MARE-IN-A-VEIL', Bridal-Themed Horror Host, DITA DIRT NAP!
While I sit here, recovering from my recent 'Bach-lerr-ette' Party, thrown for me by 'Renfield' and some of my 'Ghoul-friends'!
I now have a set date, AND........................a ring! June 26th and the ring is a rather large, rectangular cut faux-Ruby, in bright Halloween Orange, of course! 'B.J.' out-did himself! LOL Any-who, this week Mizz DIRT NAP continues my month long Salute to all the 'JUNE-BRIDES' with my next 'Bridal-Themed'-Horror Flick! By going back to Asia, Hong-Kong specifically, for the Sequel to 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR', which was from Director Ronny Yu ('BRIDE OF CHUCKY', etc.), that DITA
Reviewed way back in 2002. The Sequel is entitled, what else.............................'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2' !
This time the Director is David Yu. By the way, a special shout out to DITA's friend in St. Louis, Mo., 'THE DIL-DOE LADY,' (Kind of like an 'Avon Lady' but not as discreet! LOL) and her Hubby, 'ANDY' the Artist, BOTH are fans of John Waters, Marilyn Mason, Cult & Horror Films, Ron Jeremy and, uh, Adult Films shown at their Parties, BUT in 'MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER' mode/style, WITH the sound turned down! Really, no foolin'! By the by; 'THE DIL-DOE LADY' will be seen Hosting the Cult-Film 'SIN'-DERELLA' on my Show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In'. 'Sin-derella' was Produced by; Charles Band! He now Directs and Produces Horror Films for 'FULL MOON PICTURES'! Steph C. AKA 'The Dil-Doe Lady' may also Host some Horror Films for 'H.C.D.I.' as well! Thanks 'Dil-Doe Lady' 4 the cool 'MONSTER MOVIE' Calendar from the 'Museum Of Modern Art' you 2`gave Dear Old DITA!!! LOVE IT! For the month of 'JUNE' it shows 'THE FLY' w/Mizz Dirt Nap's favorite Horror Icon, VINCENT PRICE! Thanks to 'Renfield' for coming back to my neck of the dark woods recently for brain-storming on the future 'Dita/Renfield Project `& mini 'Bridal Shower' get together. Be sure to visit 'RENFIELD' in the 'Power Room' by clicking THE POWER ROOM .
Now for 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2'! This fun Bridal Sequel manages to mix Ancient Asian Folk-lore, Martial Arts, Horror & camp all together quite nicely, in this second outing from Hong Kong! DITA loves Asian-Horror Films and will be dipping her boney-fingers into more of it soon, my little infected Spider Bites! DITA also highly suggests checking out the first
film if you can. Which can also be found by clicking on the DVD Icon next to this Review of 'B.W.W.H.2'! It was fang-tastic and remains one of my favorite 'Bridal-Themed Horror Films of all time!!! Well, besides Universal's 'BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN' which DITA will Review in the future! 'The Bride With White Hair 2' starts out with the angry, KILLER Bride, now a very powerful WITCH with KILLER Hair (literally) & strong, evil, murder-ous powers, and uh, thing for hanging out in trees! Derek; 'The Vampiric Announcer interrupts; 'Waiting in trees, for what, DITA? Waiting for angry male mobs to try and punish her for her last, violent 'murdering-spree' from Part One, SILLY! Derek says; 'I'm riveted! 'Do go on!" 'Well, Derek, she basically dares them to F' with her! They of course, under-estimate the power and RAGE, of a woman/witch scorned and they quickly become victims of her long, strong, white, bouncing and mis-behaving, evil octopus-like hair.
Some of the Clan, she strangles to death............WITH her hair and some she does the ole' 'wrap around & snap'..............uh, till
their head tears off!!! 'Eeeeeeeeew!' Let's just say, DITA wouldn't want to be the 'Hair-Stylist' that has to give this Bitch, um, I mean Witch a 'wash & set'! 'Yikes!!!' Now her hubby from the first flick is now so upset for his angry, violent Bride that he climbs
a snow-covered mountain and just waits in the cold, cold snow-blizzard! Waits for what, you may ask??? For the 'Special-Ancient-Flower', that can only be found on cold snowy mountains in Asia.
As you all know, I NEVER like to tell the whole story so..............Let DITA just leave you with an Ancient Chinese Proverb; (pertaining to the ending of this Film.)
'Love is like a house on fire,
'Till Death Do You Both Shall Part!'
Now get to clicking on that Icon next to dear old DITA's Review for your copy tonight! Mizz Dirt Nap suggests watching it on your 'HONEYMOON' in................'TRANSYLVANIA'! Where else did you expect? 'The Poke-A-Nose' Tee-hee! Last but not least , here are the 'EXTRAS' on this disc;
*Filmographies & Bios of Actors & the Director (Nice Touch and suggested Reading By DITA)
*Languages; English, Cantonese & Mandarin
* English Subtitles
* Trailers (Mizz Dirt Nap highly suggests watching the Trailer included for 'Bride With White Hair' Part One! Fun stuff!!!
DITA gives 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2';
2 and 1/2 Skulls Out of 3!
I can't suggest this film enough especially for Film Students that want to be and hopefully will be influenced by beautifully shot, lit edited and Directed Asian-Horror Drama's such as these 2 films, both 'B.W.W.H.1' & 'B.W.W.H.2' from the wonderfully-horrific library of 'Hong Kong Cinema" and it's numerous FANS like me!
'RETURN TO THE LAND OF ANCIENT MAGIC, HORROR and LEGENDARY ADVENTURE & Fairy Tales,
with me, DITA (Garter-Belt 4 Real-This Time) DIRT NAP
P.S.
Chainsaw Kisses to the following wickedly-fun websites;
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersMAG.com
Check out Monster Bash 08' this weekend.
SCARE-MAIL;
DearDITA@webtv.net
ELVIRA'S; 'MOVIE MACABRE' (TV Show)
Featuring; 'Devil's Wedding Night'
AKA 'THE BRIDES OF COUNTESS DRACULA'
From the Original Story; 'The Brides Of Countess Dracula By; Ralph Zucker & Ian Danby.
'Movie Macabre' is from; 'SHOUT FACTORY' DVD (www.shoutfactory.com)
This Episode; 1982 a QUEEN 'B' PRODUCTION (www.elvira.com)
Starring; ELVIRA- 'MISTRESS OF THE DARK'
Played To Perfection By; Cassandra Peterson.
Also appearing as Elvira's, AUNTIE VIRUS, Actress; Eve Smith.
Directed, Produced & Written By; Larry Thomas
Elvira's Theme; Mark Pierson
Executive Producers; Cassandra Peterson, Eric Gardner & Dick Johnson.
Run Time; 98 min.
+
'The Devil's Wedding Night' From; 'Dimension Pictures' 'A Virginia Films Production'
Starring; Mark Damon (Plays Twin Brothers) & Sara Bay as Countess Dracula,
Esmeralda Barros as her Zombie Servant, Francesca Romana Davila, Ciro Papas,
Alexander Getty, George Dolfin & Stephen Hopper. Music Composed &
Conducted By; Vasil Kojucharov
Directed by; Paul Solvay (1970?)
Hello again, My little 'COFFIN-CREEPERS'!!!
Yes, it's Me, DITA 'Always A Brides Maid. Never A Bride' DIRT NAP!!! But alas, all that will change now that Mizz DIRT NAP will finally, at long last, will be 'legally' marching down the 'Wedding Isle' after a long semi-open 11 year Engagement to my
low-key/behind-scenes 'Silent Partner' 'Black-ula Jr.' aka 'Drive-In Rob'!
DITA & 'B.J.' (See picture at left, B.J.'s the one in the cool Elvira T-Shirt, incidentally available on her fang-tastic website@ www.elvira.com ) have known each other over 18 1/2 years now! He even knew me when I was Rox-anne. (Google me, if your curious.) Whew*! Who knew in this day and age that a neurotic Skeleton-Ghoul & a 'SCI-FI Channel' obsessed African-American Vampire could ever be allowed legally (like everyone else) to take that walk down the aisle to Wedded Bliss in the state of good ole' California? SNIFF! SNIFF! I think I'm gonna cry?
Derek (The Vampiric Announcer) interrupts; 'Dita?" 'What about your endless crushes; Shia Le-Buff, Johnny Depp, 'Candy-Man', Christopher Lee, your date/dinner with 'Renfield', etc., etc., etc.? 'DITA' answers; 'I said I was getting married! 'NOT DYING! Again. Derek asks; 'How many times have you died, anyway???? DITA; 3 OR 4 times, but, uh, who's counting? Besides 'RENFIELD' was a perfect gentleman on our date to see 'PLAN 9', after-slugged-him. LOL Besides, I'm having it written into my vows that fantasy crushes are okay! Can I do my Review now, Mr. Nosey? Derek says; Um, okay, sure and congrats on the upcoming nuptials, DITA! 'Thank you, ever so!'
Now, as for Elvira Hosting 'DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT' on 'MOVIE MACABRE'................her classic TV Show starts with her cool & creepy opening, which starts with ELVIRA answering a creaky, slow opening door w/lots of fog & spider webs. Then she asks, 'Who's there? 'Is that you, I've been expecting you! 'Come in. 'Don't be afraid. 'I won't BITE, and your bound to have a good time! 'Or my name isn't..........'E-L-V-I-R-A!' 'Like DITA said, 'CLASSIC!' The show title then comes up in big yellow letters, over red, flickering candles, while a were-wolf howls in the background. All the while, 'ELVIRA'S THEME' music plays in the back! Along with the sound of wind howling, a flash & crack of lightning and thunder and one more werewolf-howl-4-the-road! Then cut to ELVIRA opening the Show on her antique', red velvet Horror Hosting Couch! 'This, is how it's done, my little Spider Bites!' 'So gothically-cool, so sexy, so campy, so.............ELVIRA, 'Mistress Of The Dark'!
Her couch is also surrounded by lot's of glowingly-lit candle cobra's, nails painted jet-black, heavy Goth-make-up, hand firmly on hip, her signature little-black dress, black bee-hive hair-do, and uh, lot's of c-l-e-a-v-a-g-e! Yeah!!!!!! 3 Cheers for E.!!! DITA is a true hard core fan! She goes on to open with the line, 'It's me. That gal with the zing, that does her own thing, ELVIRA, Mistress Of The Dark! Tonight it's off to a wedding! 'R.S.V.P. 'It's 'THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT!' Love it, love it, love it! Thus begins this Episode of 'MOVIE MACABRE'! Elvira's hit TV show from the 80's now available on DVD from 'Shout Factory'!
Her wildly popular Series lasted 5 years and made ELVIRA a nationally syndicated Horror Hostess and one of the sexiest Halloween Icons since the 'BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN', no foolin'!!! ELVIRA is still making appearances today that can all be found on her website, Just click on 'WHAT'S NEW?" then click on her 'APPEARANCE SCHEDULE' for June and the rest of this year! Also ELVIRA Fans, remember her comedic turn in Joel Silvers 'JEKYLL AND HYDE, TOGETHER AGAIN' DITA recently Reviewed her in the DEN is available now as of June 3 on DVD from 'LEGEND FILMS'! Just scroll down to my old Review of it and click on the DVD Icon to get your own copy from www.amazon.com tonight!
That reminds me, kids.......a special shout out to a new FAN of mine, Hi-ho, DAN!!! Hope you still like BATS!!! Uh, inside joke! Right, DAN? 'Roaming-Zombies & the Ghost of Ed Wood. Tee-hee! Any-who, Elvira is funny & campy as well as at her poke-fun, tongue-in-cheek best in this Episode of 'MOVIE MACABRE'! Popping up periodically throughout the film looking 'GORE-JUSS', funny (Cassandra trained in 'Stand-Up' here in L.A. at 'THE GROUNDLINGS', btw! DITA at 'Greg Dean'! ) & sexy with her legs astride much like a Tina Turner of the Horror Host world...............sorry kids, I gotta say it, 'SIMPLY THE BEST'! What??? You expected dear old DITA to pass up a perfectly good Tina Turner 'song-title reference??? I think not! Back to Elvira!
She even begrudgingly shares the stage with her old Auntie Virus when she unexpectedly arrives from Kansas to steal her niece's Show, knitting and even doing 'STAND-UP'! With jokes like; 'I had to slap my boyfriend last night 5 times. Not cuz he was being
fresh. 'To see if he was DEAD! O-k-a-y! By the way, Elvira finally gets rid of her by sending her a fake telegram from Burt Reynolds asking her to come to Georgia to make a movie with him! Too funny! Also, you can either watch the film with ELVIRA Hosting it or the movie only. Those are the options on this fun disc.
The only extras on this DVD are Trailers of other DVD's from 'Shout Factory' which are as follows;
*ALICE COOPER-Good To See You Again; In Concert DVD
* STUBBS; THE ZOMBIE (Video Game) SOUNDTRACK
Now for the movie that joins DITA'S 'Bridal-Themed Horror Flicks Salute for all of those 'June-Brides!" On this disc Elvira Hosts 'Director Paul Solvay's 'THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT' AKA 'The Brides Of Countess Dracula' which in Mizz DIRT NAP's humble opinion is a better and more fitting title for this 'Mr. & Mrs. Dracula Get Married' fright flick! The description on the DVD Cover box explains it best; Loosely translated as follows-A quest for a mythical ring leads the twin Schiller Brothers to
Transylvania. 'Where you may ask?" CASTLE DRACULA, silly? Who they run into; The Bisexual Countess, her undead, anti-social, lady-zombie servant, other male monster vampire servants who double as axe carrying hoodsman. Last but not least, near the end the film, the Countessa's 5 Virgin, soon-2-be Vampire Brides! For what??? Blood and sex, of course!!! The creepy
Countess, who likes to be naked a lot, needs one brother to feed off of, and the other to house the long lost spirit of her lover Dracula! Hmmmmm?
Let DITA say that this movie is a fun, campy, silly, guilty pleasure that I enjoyed watching, especially w/ELVIRA doing Hosting duties like the pro she is! DITA loves any horror flick that has over dramatic musical cues and makes use of them every time the one twin rides his horse. They also make campy reference to the 'night of the virgin moon'! Derek interrupts; 'You're lost on that one! 'Eh, DITA?? DITA says; 'We'll, I didn't say I wasn't, did I? The Countess needs 5 Virgin Brides for sacrifice, Their blood is used at bath time to keep the Countess looking young. What you thought she just had a great plastic surgeon? Hardly, hon!!!
Too make a long story shorter.
Here are ;DITA's Things To Look For';
* BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES! Especially when the Lesbian-Zombie Servant strips down the Brides night-gowns. Again when at the Ritual (dead chickens with heads cut off pouring out blood are included, of course) Zombie-girl rubs their boobs while she visits each one in the circle. Why? Is she trying to get in radio-free Europe?
* Non-vampire Brother chopping off all heads of the axe men!
* Black Masque Wedding
* The Countess's Black Wedding Gown & Veil ensemble, complete w/magic red ruby ring that later gets cut off!!! To think, she just had a manicure! Oh my!
*Steak driven through someone's heart while in coffin.
* Protective Amulet being held in hand by recently staked Vampire, while hand protruding through grave. Cue Credits!
Love it!!! Old fashioned creeps AND..........Wedding! Okay, so she's marrying the son of Satan! WHAT!!! Nobody's perfect!
DITA gives 'Devil's Wedding Night' 2 1/2 SKULLS Out Of 3. For this Episode of; ELVIRA's; 'MOVIE MACABRE' DITA gives the 'Queen Of Halloween' a 3 SKULLS Out Of 3 Score! Long reign Queen ELVIRA, Mistress of Dark!!!
More Bridal-Fright Fest, next week!
THRILLS!
CHILLS!
HORROR!
Lift the Veil and cue the rice, Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA (Elvira-Fan) DIRT NAP
P.S.
As always, please check out the following sites for more Horror fun;
WWW.ELVIRA.COM
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
& www.scarymonstersmag.com
4 Info on 'MONSTER BASH 08' June 20,21,22 go to;
www.creepyclassics.com/bash.html
DearDITA@webtv.net
H.P. LOVECRAFT's;
'BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR'
Wild Street Pictures & Artisan Entertainment
Directed & Produced By; BRIAN YUZNA
Starring; Kathleen Kinmont as the Bride,
Jeffrey Combs (House On Haunted Hill-Remake) as Mad Dr. Herbert West,
and Bruce Abbott as the Tormented Dr. Dan Cain, etc, Based on the Short Story by;
H.P. Lovecraft. 1989 DVD
Well Hello My Little Black Rose 'BOO'-kays,
Tis I , your BRIDE-ZILLA-Horror Hostess of the Un-Dead, DITA DIRT NAP! It is w/great excitement that I start my month-long salute to my favorite kind of Horror Flicks, Witch are, BRIDAL-Themed Horror Films!
It all started when actress Elsa Lancaster played the 'BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN' in that Classic Chiller from Universal Pictures. DITA's been hooked ever since! Oh, I just love a good cry at a wedding! Speaking of Weddings, Mizz DIRT NAP wants to offer CONGRATS' to an Upcoming future Bride and friend 'POE-SHAY' aka PORSCHE and her GROOM to be, KINZA! DITA will be attending the Wedding this June.
Also DITA DIRT NAP wishes a Happy 'GAY' Pride to all those attending the exciting Festivities this Weekend in WEST HOLLYWOOD, here in sunny California. Very important this weekend, considering the ban on Gay Marriage has been lifted here in the state of CALIFORNIA recently. Hmmmmmm? DITA will also be attending those Festivities as well. What? You
expect MIZZ DIRT NAP to pass up Olivia Newton-John & Joss Stone in Concert there? Never!! By the way, I was a Bride ONCE! Derek; (The Vampiric Announcer) interrupts; Yes, BUT you were left at the alter!! DITA says; DETAILS, mere details, Derek!!
A-hem, any-who, DITA's past Bridal-Themed Horror Movie Reviews have been; 'BRIDES OF DRACULA', 'BRIDE OF CHUCKY', 'HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON' from Mario Bava, and from Asia, 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR' and last but not least, Ed Wood's 'BRIDE OF THE MONSTER' w/Bela Lugosi! That reminds me, Hello again to my friend in Horror, 'RENFIELD' here at 'Creature Feature'! Please visit him in the 'POWER ROOM' tonight to see what's cookin'! Ask
him about the upcoming 'DITA/RENFIELD PROJECT' for my Show 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' that's filed under G' for 'Grave-Robbers'! Tee-hee! Now, BACK to 'BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR'!
This film is a fan favorite, and a Sequel to; H.P.LOVECRAFT's 'RE-ANIMATOR'. The storyline although somewhat slow-moving at first and discombobulated really picks up once the two Doctor's finally get on the same page about bringing the Bride played affectively by actress KATHLEEN KINMONT, back to life! She is of course, made from various re-animated body parts from different girls, ALL with a different story to tell. Let's see now, the heart is from Dr. Cain's past love. (Side Note about Dr. Cain, he is the hunky one and should be called Dr. 'Hard Candy'-Cain!!! 'GIVE IT 2 ME'! They don't call me the 'MADONNA of the Un-Dead' for nothin', hon!
Oh, DITA's having another A.D.D. moment........4 details on Madge's newly announced 'STICKY & SWEET' TOUR, go to www.madonna.com DITA DIRT NAP has always been a big 'Madonna-Fan' you know! i.e. Read the old Interview in 'Monster News'2002 DITA did w/Dan Johnson for proof! LOL)
Where was I? Oh yes, Dr. Hunky, um, I mean Dr. Cain also takes off his shirt a lot, YES, and also fondles one of his love interests boobs! Another 'DITA-Crush' to add to the ever-expanding list, my little 'Spider-Bites'! Perhaps, a future 'POP-Quiz'? Hmmmmm? The other Mad Dr. West is played brilliantly by actor Jeffrey Combs, who is completely obsessed with Re-Animating body parts! Oh, DITA almost forgot the rest of the girl parts! 'GIRL-PARTS', sounds like a Band Courtney Love would put
together! The other 'girl parts' are a Ballerina's feet( for what, maybe a 'bridal-re-animated Ballet) and the arms of a waitress (TV's 'ALICE', perhaps?), the legs of a Hooker (the infamous 'FRANKENHOOKER', by chance?), next the nether regions of a 'Virgin' (DITA was a virgin once! Derek' says;' That was BEFORE you made it through the wilderness!' DITA; What?, what?, what??? Derek; Long before you were touched for the very first time!' 'The very first time TODAY!!! DITA; 'Well, I never!!! Derek; Obviously, you DID!!! Giggle, giggle!)
'A-N-Y-W-A-Y, last but not least, the head of another love interest and former patient! The Bride, once re-animated by the two doc's, becomes jealous of another female and a 'CAT-FIGHT' is soon under way! Love it!!! So does DITA's friend 'Alley Kat'! Meow!!! The Re-Animator Bride's look in the film is cool and unique from the past celluloid Brides! Lot's of skin hanging, dressed in see-thru gauze, with peek-a-boobs-theme look! Hmmm! DITA will have to try out THAT look sometime soon, my little blood bags! Her hair is only a bad-home-perm-look & her face is pulling away from the jawbone! Very Cool look, in Mizz DIRT NAP's humble opinion, for that fright-fully fun walk down the aisle for all you 'JUNE-Brides'!
She's ready to say; I DO!!! He says; 'I DON'T!!!' She has a literal body-splitting-tissue-rejecting- melt-down near the end of the film just before some 'loose-end' Story Lines are somewhat tied-up, all while the lab is falling apart/exploding w/the beheaded DR.
CARL (David Gale) from the first film ('RE-ANIMATOR') who now has bat wings attached to his now flying-evil-severed-head! DR. CARL has brought the now zombified-police Chief with him of course and they end up 'buried alive' with an assortment of, (as Elvira would say;) 'zombies, freaks and maniacs'! "END SCENE!'
DITA's only complaint with this fun and unique bridal-themed fright-flick is the pacing and slight confusement! It is however definitely worth a-look-see! The only EXTRA on this disc is * 2.0 Dolby Stereo Surround! What, NO TRAILER! Aw-shucks!!! DITA gives 'BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR' 2 SKULLS OUT OF 3! Order your copy tonight by clicking on the DVD Icon next to dear old DITA's Review, ALONG with something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue and something DEAD!!! Oh, and uh, a big tub of buttery popcorn and the RINGS, silly!' You may now KISS the Bride.................IF YOU DARE!!!
DATE.
MATE.
RE-ANIMATE!
Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA (Night-Mare-In-A-Veil) DIRT NAP
Scare-Mail Appreciated;
DearDITA@webtv.net
p.s.
Please websurf @
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
Don't forget the upcoming
'MONSTERBASH' 08' June 20,21,22
For complete updated guest list go to www.creepyclassics.com/bash.htm
This Review is dedicated to the memory of; JIM LANGER R.I.P.
'NIGHTMARE CASTLE'
Digitally Remastered (Italian Horror)
RETRO-MEDIA DVD
Directed By; Mario Caiano aka (Allen Grunewald)
Starring; Horror-Vixen Diva; BARBARA STEELE with; Paul Miller, Helga Line,
Lawrence Clift, John McDouglas & Rik Battaglia. Run Time; 100 minutes
1965
Hello Again, Tis I, your Chainsaw Cyber-Host 'Horror Vixen', DITA DIRT NAP! Yes, I've awakened from last week's Dirt Nap and ready for more Horror fun! This time I awoke with a hunger for a little Italian! Mmmmm! ITALIAN Horror that is!!! WHAT did you think DITA was hungry FOR, silly? Creepy Castle Soup? Hardly, my little Coffin Creepers! I was thinking something a little more SHARP! Like Barbara STEELE!!! Get it? SHARP! STEELE! A-hem, uh, okay?
TOUGH crowd, geez! Any-who, I bring you the classic, Italian-creeper w/lots of scary organ music, 'NIGHTMARE CASTLE'!
The tag line on the Cover reads; 'SO WEIRD!' 'SO SHOCKING!" 'Do YOU dare see it?'
Oh, DITA just loves this fright flick more than 'SHIA LE'-BUFF & 'RENFIELD' put together on a double-date.................with me, of course! 'Not each other, SILLY!' 'Indiana Jones' And The Kingdom Of The Crystal SKULL' w/Harrison Ford & SHIA in Theaters NOW!! Can't wait! Thanks for the date to see 'PLAN 9' by the way REN' ! Oh and your wonderful-fun BLOG' entitled 'MY DINNER WITH DITA'! I loved it more than 'BLACKULA' & JOHNNY DEPP in the same bed!!! MINE, of course! Tee-hee! You forgot to mention my little tight, black T-Shirt DITA was wearing over my double-d's of 'BRIDE OF THE MONSTER', from ED WOOD, hon!
For those of you who missed it, the Blog, that is. It's still up in the POWER ROOM, here on Count Gore's 'Creature Feature'! Derek; (The 'Vampiric Announcer') says; DITA! 'Do you think you can stop talking about your favorite subject and get back to your Review? DITA; says; My favorite subject??? Derek; says; Yes, your favorite subject, you know; 'YOU!!!" DITA; says-'OH, uh, right!' (giggle, giggle!) By, the way, Derek, when are we going to see you in the DEN? Anytime, soon??? 'Hello? Hello? Ummm, alrighty then!
'NIGHTMARE CASTLE' has luscious cinematography and creepy atmospheric settings and looks fang-tastic on this digitally remastered disc!!! Effective & glorious black & white but Mizz DIRT NAP is curious to see what it would look like in SCREAMING color as well. ATTENTION 'LEGEND FILMS', DITA's found your next Public Domain Project DVD release!
Just perfect for 'MIKE NELSON's" witty & comic Commentary Tracks! More future Reviews from them coming in the near future, my little Spider Bites! By the by kiddies, DITA will be Horror Hosting this gothic fright-flick on my show this fall on 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' and if 'RENFIELD' is up for it, we will try and 'Host the campy 'HORROR OF SPIDER ISLAND' together! Since DITA so often refers to the little creatures here in my Horror Review Column! I even wear them as accessories...........No foolin"!
A quick shout out to a wonderful patient fan of Mizz Dirt Nap's, Larry Smith! Expect a somewhat heavy package from moi' shortly, Hon! Before DITA forgets, here are the FEW extras included on the 'Nightmare Castle' DVD; (On mine, anyway.);
*UNCUT European Version of 'N.C.'
* Cool Theatrical Trailer of 'N.C.' (DITA loves old Horror Trailers and could do a whole Show on them!)
* Still Gallery of 'N.C.' (Love it!!! Wish DITA could make a T-Shirt from one of the Stills, Mouse-Pad, or maybe a nice black Hoodie with a pic of the DVD Cover Art!!! Oh, where's Martha Stewart when ya need her? Love to be on HER 'HALLOWEEN' SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love her!!! Hi MARTHA!!! Check her out @ www.marthastewart.com especially her 'Halloween Hand Book' & spooky 'Halloween' CD!!! Oh Martha, you certainly capture the 'Halloween Spirit' in October! Kudos Martha!)
* SUBTITLES in English, Italian, Spanish & French.
This film by the way is dubbed badly in English, which of course is half the fun! It adds to the already HIGH camp factor! You already know how much MIZZ DIRT NAP likes CAMP! In fact, some say 'camp' is MY middle name!!! Derek; says- 'I thought 'DIRT' was your middle name? DITA; says- 'YO Mamma! Derek; says; 'Watch it, bitch!' DITA; says- 'Okay, okay, put that HATCHET down!'
Let me start with the crowd-pleasing Storyline; Rich, beautiful girl owns gothic Castle. Husband/Scientist wants to own said Castle and her money. Not at first, he doesn't . Husband then finds wife in greenhouse with.................let me guess, hmmmm?
The Gardener! "Who else, BARACK OBAMA'?" Well, you never know, with Miss Steele's past homo-erotic films containing a little girl-on-girl action, the person in the Green-house COULD have been HILARY'? I'm just sayin'! Any-who, then Angry hubby tortures wifey (played by the gorgeous, sexy, saucer-eyed Horror Vixen BARBARA STEELE!!!) and her gardener boy-toy lover by chaining them up to a wall, pours acid on one side of her pretty face and then on both on a bed, then electrocution!
Yikes! Before he tortures them Muriel swears REVENGE on him and tells her Scientist- badly-in-need-of-anger-management hubby that she knows he wants to inherit her fortune after he kills them AND that she has changed her WILL, now leaving her fortune and creepy Castle to her half-sister Jenny to keep him from inheriting it! Whew!!! After the lovers are dead the Hubby drains her Blood and cuts out her and her lovers HEARTS! Eeeeeeew! He then burns the bodies and puts their ashes in planting pot ..........with a plant! Maybe DITA wasn't the ONLY one watching 'MARTHA's Show! Hmmmmmm?
The chamber maid is also in on this secret and of course has the hots for the Scientist all along. She also needs blood to become young-looking and vibrant. Hmmmm! The former Hubby of the now deceased Muriel now goes and retrieves her crazy half-sister Jenny from her Sanitarium and................................MARRIES her! I wonder why??? Jenny is of course played by BARBARA STEELE in a dual role in a long blonde wig! Wonder if she let DITA borrow it for Count Gore's 'ROAST'? By the way Muriel was a dark brunette with somewhat severe hairstyles! Muriel was also wearing a big, long foofy-flowing night gown when she was killed. Sister Jenny comes to the eerie Castle and wears her sissy's afore mentioned dramatic night gown and begins hearing things & seeing things that may or may not be there, due to the drugs in her drink. Put there by the creepy-now youthful chamber maid. Can you say TRANSFUSION..........of a DEAD body!!! Nice!
Muriel's spirit tries to possess Jenny's body and almost succeeds if not for Jenny's sexy & handsome Shrink named ironically DR. DEREK! Lots of plot twists and turns later and after several Muriel/Jenny Nightmares, Muriel & her Gardner/Lover appear as Ghost in the Castle to exact their revenge in the 'NIGHTMARE CASTLE'! Hence forth, that spooky little title of this fun, old-fashioned campy-fright-fest that DITA can't praise enough!
MIZZ DIRT NAP won't tell all of the ending but I will say that this film has just about everything you could want in a great fun-filled horror flick, such as the following;
Torture (in DITA's Book, always a plus), lot's of gothic-ly-eerie candle-obras, wonderful & effective horror-organ music at the right moments, right from the 'GET-GO' starting in the intro-credits, blood transfusions (more-than-one), beautiful lightning and thunder sounds, loud, CREAKING doors. Cool gothic-period dresses complete with bustles, long trains and low-hanging bows in the back (DITA has an eye-ball for these things as all glamour-ghouls should!) effective burned-acid face make-up on characters, Miss STEELE acting campy, dramatic & eerie, as usual and breath-takingly beautiful in every scene.
Also included; Cremation, great crypt scene especially in Jenny's cool first dream sequence, and last but not least the mad scientist lab!!! A horror staple for any true old-fashioned fright film! 'Horror Handbook 101', look it up, dearies or better yet ask Mr. Horror 101' & 102' Professor Griffin!
DITA loves BARBARA STEELE and her numerous horror flicks and may even be developing a little girl-on-girl crush on BABS! Oh my! I highly urge any FAN of Miss Steele to 'GOOGLE' her and her 'bodacious' BODY of work in the HORROR FILM Industry! She is a 'Horror Icon' that Mizz DIRT NAP can't get enough of, and is even mentioned in ELVIRA's Song called 'MONSTER RAP'! Something like ; 'and Barbara Steele, 'Killer Tomatoes' have appeal! 'The FLY', 'Christine' and Stephen
King. These are the things that make me scream and holler for more and more and more! 'MONSTER RAP'! Well, something like that, I think???
Anyway, DITA Reviewed Barbara Steele's film 'BLACK SUNDAY' eons' ago here in the DEN! DITA gives 'NIGHTMARE CASTLE' 3 'CRYSTAL SKULLS' (hint, hint!) OUT Of 3! A perfectly nightmarish score! Click on the DVD ICON to own your own copy tonight!!! Watch it it with your favorite gardener/boy-toy in the dark! Just be sure and pull up that creepy CASTLE draw-bridge..............TIGHT! To keep the draft out, SILLY! Get your mind out of the gutter!!! Geez! When Mizz DIRT NAP starts talking about her tight, creepy 'DRAW-BRIDGE', it's time to GO! 'Go clean my-moat, that is!' Ewwwwww!!!
Night-y Nite & Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA (Steele-Lover) DIRT NAP
p.s.
As always PLEASE do some WEB-SURFING at the following cool
sites; www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
& of course www.elvira.com
SCARE-MAIL;
DearDITA@webtv.net
'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET
DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE'
Universal International Pictures
Directed By; Charles Lamont Produced By; Howard Christie
Make Up; Bud Westmore.
Starring; Bud Abbott & Lou Costello,
BORIS KARLOFF as Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde,
Helen Westcott, Craig Stevens, Reginald Denny, John Dierkes, etc. 1953
Only available on DVD in 'The BEST Of 'Abbott & Costello' Volume 4 (The Franchise Collection)
Greetings,
My little Spider Bites, Tis I again, your Un-dead Diva of the Internet, DITA DIRT NAP! Last week I brought you the long awaited 'Horror/Cult Comedy' 'Jekyll & Hyde, Together Again!" and received a lot of wonderful 'FEED-BACK' about that fun film such as the lead actor who played Dr. Daniel Jekyll & Mr. Hyde! Mr. MARK BLANKFIELD was also a primary player on the wonderful & short lived 80's Sketch Comedy Series 'FRIDAY'S'! DITA did NOT know that, but does remember a popular phrase line from the show; 'Do we put oregano in it? 'NO,-NO,-NO,- NO! Also Mizz DIRT NAP received a positive E-mail from the Mistress Of The Dark's wonderfully- horrific website, WWW.ELVIRA.COM about my 'Jekyll & Hyde, Together Again!' Review! DITA is more than honored and happier than a clam about that, kiddies!!! 'WOW!" Again, DITA urges you to check out Elvira's 'Unpleasant Dreams' on her wonderfully-well done website for everything ELVIRA!!!
Now for some more continuing 'JEKYLL & HYDE' Comedy this week! I bring you the Horror-Spoof Comedy of 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE'! Those of you who've followed DITA's earlier Reviews from long ago here in the DEN, (which by the by, used to be called 'DITA's DEN') know that I am a big Fan of 'Comedy Teams'! Especially of 'Abbott & Costello' Films and specifically their 'A. & C. MEETS; movies, for sure!!! In the past, here in the 'Creature Feature Horror Den, DITA has Reviewed some of their poke-fun 'Horror Spoofs' such as 'A. & C. MEET FRANKENSTEIN' (one of their Best!), 'HOLD THAT GHOST' (one of Mizz Dirt Nap's favorites!) and the always fun 'A. & C. MEET THE INVISIBLE MAN' ! DITA will also Review more of their 'Abbott & Costello MEETS' movies in the future! In fact, I will be Reviewing; 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY' coming up in August of 08' to coincide w/the new release of Universal's 'THE MUMMY 3' w/Brendan Frasier and another one of DITA's crushes, JET LI! Oh, be still, my little black heart! A ghoul's gotta' have her crushes ya know!
For everything 'A to Z' about the Horror Spoofs of Abbott & Costello; DITA highly urges everyone to check the wonderful, thorough, well written and researched book by JEFFREY S. MILLER entitled 'THE HORROR SPOOFS OF ABBOTT & COSTELLO' from McFarland Books! 'A.& C. Meet Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde' INFO' in this book starts on Page;88! Excellent book Mr. Miller! DITA thanks you for writing it, for big FANS like me! More on Mr. Miller's Spook-tacular Book in detail coming in August my little infected Spider Bites! In fact, if I'm lying; May BATS, fly out of my CROTCH, when I unCROSS my legs! Tee-hee! This fun-flick is not available on DVD by itself as far as DITA knows. It comes from 'The Franchise Collection 'The BEST Of Abbott & Costello;Vol.4 on DVD. This is a great addition for any fans of the 'Abbott & Costello' MEETS; Movies for your DVD Collection and also includes the following Films and 'A. & C. Specials that DITA will cover in great detail coming this August. They are as follows;
'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET;
*Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde
*Meet The Mummy
*Meet The Keystone Cops
*Meet The MONSTERS (Documentary)
*The World Of Abbott & Costello (Documentary)
*Meet Jerry Seinfeld (Special)
'6 Comedy Classics'
Please NOTICE for now DITA mainly just wants to focus on the film 'Abbott & Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde", my little blood bags! This DVD disc does include a great old-fashioned Horror/Comedy TRAILER of; 'A. & C. Meet Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde' that is very cool and does it's job of making you want to see this film! (Nice job of Editing, Graphics, Clips & Fonts, guys!)
The movie starts out in England of course, with OUR boys playing American-British Bobbies (policemen), called, 'SLIM & TUBBY' (NOT p.c.,kids!) in Hyde Park that come to break up a 'WOMEN's RIGHT TO VOTE' Rally (Gay Marriage Rights in CA. up next in May 2008.) that gets out of hand, complete with 'women VS. men' Fist Fights! Very comic scene here and well done! This takes place right after Mr. HYDE makes his 'first kill' in the picture, snarling & strangling all the while! Kind of like some of DITA's 'first-dates'! A-hem, any-who Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde in this film is played wonderfully by none other than
'Horror-Icon', BORIS KARLOFF!!! DITA suggests A 'GOOGLE' search on Mr. KARLOFF and his wonderful body of work!
He also played in another great 'A. & C.' movie entitled 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF!" 'Can you say; Future-Review!' Again, LOVE his voice!!!
By the way, their are 3 infamous film adaptations of this horror Novel By; Robert Louis Stevenson that starred as follows' +John Barrymore (The 1920 Silent Version. One of the Best, in DITA's humble opinion! Available on 'KINO' DVD w/very cool extras
including a 'Short-Film' Version with one of my favorite Actor's STAN LAUREL! Love it!!! John Barrymore as you all know
is a past Relative of 'SCREAM' Star; Drew Barrymore! I guess everything is Connected. Hmmm!) +Fredric March (1931,or 32' Version which he won an Oscar!) Love this version almost as well. Nice Monster Transformation by Mr. March.) +Spencer Tracy (1941 Also starred; LANA Turner (Blonde Bombshell Diva) and Ingrid Bergman.) (Nice Version as well.)
Dr. Jekyll also plays 'Guardian' in this 1953 'Horror-Comedy' to a blonde singer/dancer played nicely by Helen Westcott, that the devious Doctor also secretly has the 'HOTS' for. DITA smells trouble! SNIFF! SNIFF! To make a long story short. Here are 'DITA's Things To Look For';
* Lot's of SLAP-STICK, (My favorite kind of Comedy? Is there any other, I ask you?) performed this time by both LOU & BUD!
*Karloff's performance! All of it! Brilliant, especially the transformation scenes! (Kudos!)
* Any parts of the chase scene with either Mr. Hyde or Tubby! Specifically in the theater and definitely the Roof/Chase Scenes!
(F.Y.I.- Tubby also is now a Monster in the roof scenes as well! Hilarity Ensues!)
* Scene in bar when Tubby' gets turned into a rat after drinking DR. JEKYLL's potion but only his head & hands. (Funny!)
*Scene where Tubby' gets shoved onto a hyper-dermic needle of Dr. JEKYLL's, over and over again comic-ally by MR. HYDE on his couch! DITA almost wet herself! LOL Derek (The Vampiric Announcer says; 'DIRT NAP' according to Sailors down at the dock;' Your always wet!! Mooo-HOO-Ha-Ha! DITA says; 'BITE ME, bitch! Meeeeow!
*Scene where Tubby' is captured as his Monster-self and tied up by Slim' and brought into the Police Station only to bite the fingers of the head Police Captain and other Officers. This hysteric-ly turns them all into.................Monsters! Monsters in police uniforms that is! Too, too funny! (DITA likely!)
A special shout out goes to; Tasha, who loves to borrow DITA's Copies of 'FANGORIA' magazine and likes to imitate 'Minnie Mouse' & 'Betty Boop' having Phone Sex! Hey Girl! I almost forgot, BACK to the movie! What? I've told y