- SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are well enough to go to the doctor, you are well enough to come to work.
- LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
- DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off a half-hour early, provided it is for an immediate family member and all your work is up to date.
- DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we expect at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to train some0one else to do your job. By the way, if you die on the job, please fall over so we can tell the live workers from the dead ones.
- PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with surnames beginning with “A” will be allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
- QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.
- QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
- RAISES: We understand the rising cost of living, but we expect you to work with us. No one will be considered for a raise until everyone over the age of twelve in his or her family is working two jobs and you have sold all your luxury items such as cars, refrigerators and school books.
- THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
- WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.
Control the Music with these buttons!
Greetings again count gore, you indicated in your previous
email, that the web shows are not being offered, any longer. Is this a
permanent situation, or do you think you'll crank some more out at a later. A
brother mentioned your web show, and I was trying to look ahead to christmas.
That was a great show you did recently with the bone jangler. There's a host
from ohio called the cool ghoul, who also does a show everyother month (or so).
His web address is: www.coolghoul.tv it
would be groovey to see him on your show, or vise versa.
That's all for now!
I guess if we want to watch something really horrifying on tv, we could watch a
session of congress on c span!
Matt from Missouri
Hi there! I'm Patrick Burns of TruTV's "Haunting Evidence". I'd like to invite you to join me and my companion paranormal author Marley Gibson this September 10th through 12th for a special weekend in historic and haunted Key West Florida!
Join us for a weekend in one of America’s most haunted towns! Ghostock Key West promises to get you out of the conference room, away from the same old lectures and out into the town to enjoy the rich history that makes Key West so fascinating.
Explore the town that legendary American author Ernest Hemingway called home. Visit such notable landmarks as the Hemingway house and its famed six-toed cats, the Little White House, Sloppy Joe’s Bar, the southern most point in the lower 48 states and many others. At night, network and investigate with other paranormal enthusiasts. We have several exclusive investigations scheduled for our attendees!
Our host hotel for GhoStock Key West is the world famous La Concha Hotel, conveniently located in the heart of Duval Street. You’re literally just steps from the ocean front, shopping, dining and all of Key Wests famed night life.
If you book RIGHT NOW, we’re pleased to offer you this SPECIAL LIMITED TIME OFFER!!!
BOOK A TWO NIGHT STAY AT LA CONCHA HOTEL & RECEIVE FREE ADMISSION FOR TWO TO GHOSTOCK KEY WEST!
Save off the normal registration price of $99 per person!
HURRY - this special is only good thru August 10th!
Click over to http://ghostock.com for event info and to register your room and receive your free admission!
We're looking forward to a weekend in Americas very own tropical paradise and and I hope you'll join us!
Sincerely,
-Patrick Burns
Excite-Lite Media
276 Washington Street
#260Boston, MA 02108
Hey count,
Just wanted to say I am very happy that you have joined youtube. I am a singer
formally of the Baltimore band FORGET THE HEARSE, and if you ever want a special
guest on one the videos you upload I would be more then happy to join you as
your guest. Thank you once again for joining the youtube world.
With Great Respect,
Jacob James
Moby Dick Comes to Life
From Associated Press
July 21, 2010 1:26 PM EDT
CAPE TOWN, South Africa (AP) — A yachter in South Africa says her trip off the country's picturesque southwestern coast was wrecked by an unexpected whack from a whale.
Paloma Werner said Wednesday the whale breached just feet from their boat in Cape Town's waters on Sunday. It whacked the yacht, snapping the mast in two. A local newspaper showed a photo, captured by a passenger on a nearby boat, of a massive black whale towering over the yacht. Werner says neither she nor her companion were hurt, and she saw the whale swimming around minutes after the collision. She says she feels lucky that the mast took the brunt of the blow.
(Arrgghh matey! Nigh scuttled from scourge of the briney deep!)
Jeff Youngblood
"Excellent! Spent my younger years with my eyes glued to you
each weekend. I used to love DC 20 ... Creature Feature and Kung Fu Theater.
Seemed the weekend was always filled with Universal Monsters, Bruce Lee, Tarzan,
and Godzilla. It's a shame the tube is vacant of all the things I used to love
.....
And now I find this here!!!!!! I'll be checking out all of your videos for
sure!"
Chris Burton
15 Excuses to Goof Off this Summer
Does anyone need a good excuse to goof off in these lazy, hazy, dog days of
summer? Here's 15 excuses I've collected which I thought might be of use to
your fans, Count.
1. My psychic warned me not to leave the house today.
2. Aliens abducted me.
3. I overslept.
4. I'm just waiting to see if I'm "already a winner."
5. I have to study for an occult blood test.
6. Couldn't find my keys.
7. I hear wild, hungry black bears are roaming the suburbs of northern Baltimore.
8. My internet connection went down.
9. The sunlight burns.
10. It's so hot out.
11. I'm in deep yogurt.
12. I lost track of time.
13. I'm renewing myself in a purifying, lustral bath.
14. I need to attune the crystals in my rock garden.
15. There's a full moon.
1. My psychic warned me not to leave the house today.
2. Aliens abducted me.
3. I overslept.
4. I'm just waiting to see if I'm "already a winner."
5. I have to study for an occult blood test.
6. Couldn't find my keys.
7. I hear wild, hungry black bears are roaming the suburbs of northern Baltimore.
8. My internet connection went down.
9. The sunlight burns.
10. It's so hot out.
11. I'm in deep yogurt.
12. I lost track of time.
13. I'm renewing myself in a purifying, lustral bath.
14. I need to attune the crystals in my rock garden.
15. There's a full moon.
Just goofing off,
L. W. Woods
Dear Count;
Dear Count;
I cannot Thank You enough for the copy of your dvd, "Every Other Day Is
Halloween" that I won in your latest contest! I received it today, and
I could not believe that not only was it signed, but personalized as
well! I never imagined winning something this incredibly nice in any
contest, and now that I have, it will be displayed with pride. Thank You
again Count, and congratulations on your 13th year!
Ardent Admirer and Life-Long Fan;
Brad Green
A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale
cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman
in her mid eighties, at the most. Trying to remember his best pick-up
line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
***********************
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high,
you might want to remember this:
My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. After
almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and
decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and
then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the
desk clerk handed us a bill for $350.00
I explode and demand to know why the charge is so high. I tell the clerk
although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00
Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. I insisted
on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the hotel has
an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available
for us to use. 'But we didn't use them. ''Well, they are here, and you
could have,' explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain we could also have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous. 'We have the best entertainers from New York
, Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,'. 'Well, we have them, and you
could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, I reply, 'But we didn't use
it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.
I wrote a check and give it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' 'this
check is only made out for $50.00. ''That's correct, as I charged you
$300.00 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have.'
Don't mess with Senior Citizens
*******************************
Damn, this sounds like Telephone Company
Policy!!!
Peg R.
Hi ive written and recorded my own fun
song titled "The Monsters Ball" i came about the idea after thinking
how great it would be if the icons of horror dead or alive & ficticious such
as Dracula, Frankenstein, Bela Lugosi, Stephen King, Vincent
Price, etc got together for a huge party, i write my songs and music
purely as a hobby and have never classed myself as a serious
musician.
The song is currently the Opening/Closing theme tune to the U.S show with Rob Dimension and John Cannon titled "Late Night at the Horror Hotel" which has now had a DVD release and also has featured on many radio station playlists and Horror podcasts.
Be nice to have your thoughts on the track.
link to song below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JCeQ7jJ2NI
The song is currently the Opening/Closing theme tune to the U.S show with Rob Dimension and John Cannon titled "Late Night at the Horror Hotel" which has now had a DVD release and also has featured on many radio station playlists and Horror podcasts.
Be nice to have your thoughts on the track.
link to song below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JCeQ7jJ2NI
The 2010 B Movie Celebration
September 24th, 25th and 26th
Franklin , Indiana
www.bmoviecelebration.com
September 24th, 25th and 26th
Franklin , Indiana
www.bmoviecelebration.com
Once again, the curtain goes up in Franklin, IN as The 2010 B-Movie Celebration comes to town for three days of cinematic thrills and chills. The celebration takes place on September 24, 25 and 26. During that time, over 50 films will be shown spanning the whole history of the B-movie from the exploitation pioneers of the 1930s to the low-budget monster epics of the 50s, 60s and 70s on through to today’s kings of micro-cinema.
What exactly is a B-movie? A B-movie is a film produced aside from the big budget, more prestigious A-list offerings from Hollywood. Often confined to the horror and sci-fi genres, B-movies can also include westerns and film noirs as well. The B-Movie Celebration is designed to magnify the achievements of past B-movie filmmakers while heralding the breed of independent, low-budget B-mavericks. In short, the past, present and future are all present and accounted for here.
This year, we are pleased to honor three Midwestern pioneers of B-movie magic: presenter Kroger Babb, presenter/producer K. Gordon Murray and director/screenwriter William Girdler. Several of the works of these three mavericks will be shown and their memories will be honored with tributes.
But showing movies isn’t all we do. The B-Movie Celebration will also have informative seminars involving various aspects of filmmaking from screenwriting to producing and directing. A smattering of guests will be on hand to give their insight on the filmmaking process. This year, the guests will include legendary B-movie director Bert I. Gordon, Troma films president Lloyd Kaufman, prolific director Jim Wynorski, low-budget horror maverick Jim O’Rear and many others. Also, the Golden Cob Awards, which have already been announced, will be handed out and many of the recipients will be on hand to receive their trophies.
The movies themselves will be shown at several different venues, including the Artcraft Theatre, The Canary Creek Cinemas and the Canary Creek Drive In. This year’s B-Movie Celebration promises to be just a whole lot of fun and we hope you can join us.
For further information, contact us 317-225-9767 or check out our website at www.bmoviecelebration.com
It's
'Helena's Night of the Comet!' In her July episode, the 'Hussy
of Horror' wakes up to find this weird red dust everywhere and
everybody's gone, which almost botches her shopping trip with
Marguerite. Fear not, the stores are open
and she's going shopping! But
someone is watching . . .
Be sure
to stay tuned after the
episode for Helena's exclusive chat
with Catherine Mary Stewart,
star of Night of the Comet and The Last Starfighter!
She'll tell us about what's she's shopping for these days.
Watch it
all here:
Best,
Lonnie
Lonnie Martin
Ningen Manga Productions
Hello Count,
I wrote you recently and mentioned that I had reviewed you documentary.
Here is the link;
http://www.dantenet.com/er/ERchives/reviews/e_reviews/every-other-day.html
Have a great day!
Douglas Waltz
If you would like to send a note with hopes that it ends up here, just click on the image below.
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