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'APRIL FOOL'S DAY' (The Original.)
Paramount Pictures
A HOMETOWN FILMS PRODUCTION
Directed By; FRED WALTON ('When A Stranger Calls', etc.)
Starring; Griffin O' Neal, Deborah Foreman as Muffy & Deborah Goodrich
as Nikki (Bad-Girl.), etc.
Paramount DVD's; 'Wide Screen Collection'
DVD 1986
The 'Tag-Line' Reads; 'GUESS WHO'S GOING TO BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY?'

That being said, I, DITA DIRT NAP want to announce w/great excitement that we will be Appearing in our own Celebrity Sex-Tape w/my Vamp-Hubby; 'B.J.' with absolutely 'NOTHING' on butt the Radio!!! That's right folks, you heard it first! BUTT NEKKID, bones, rotting half-Zombie Flesh and 'B.J.''s Vampire-'Cakes' for all to see us, acting out Marilyn Monroe's 2nd to last Film-title; 'LET'S MAKE LOVE!!!'

It wuz a hard decision to make, since my Vamp-Hubby; 'B.J.' , are 'Sheltering-In-Place' together ,here in W. Hollyweird, and decided to capitalize on our Marital-Duties and because of Dr. Oz telling Couples to copulate to break the tension lately. LOL, but he really said that! Believe me Hon, we needed to!  We have no shame in our 'times-are-tuff', decision and hope you will all buy several copies from 'Gothic Adult Films' dot com (fictious.) .

'APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Just kidding , my Little Spider-Bites!  LMOL! DITA would never do a Celebrity-Sex Tape, as I am more like a Z-Grade Celebrity at that, Hon.
Oh I had some of you going, didn't I?
Or didn't I? Hmmmmm?

Any-who, now onto this Week's 'Spring-Fling/Holiday-Horror' that combines mystery, horror and humor with a great Talented Cast; 'APRIL FOOL'S DAY from 1986! Cuz you how much DITA loves 80's Horror! This one is a good one, if I do say so myself! To see why , let's take a look at the Retro 80's Trailer fro the Original; 'APRIL FOOL'S DAY' by Simply Clicking here> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVBnXA7pk2M 

This Movie's Cult-Popularity even spawned a Remake in the Millennium.  Now Kids, this 80's Holiday-Horror Film has to this 'Ghoul-Gal,' stood the test of time, uh, with the exception of the bad 80's Hairstyles, and preppy 80's clothes, mind you. For a Semi-Slasher Flick this film includes a fun/scary mix of 80's Horror, 'Who-Dun it', Murder Mystery, teens trapped in a very remote, creepy house (i.e. They all had to take a Ferry to arrive there.) with a touch of FRIDAY THE 13TH! In fact & speaking of...................this Film wuz made by the people who brought you; 'FRIDAY THE 13TH, Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5! No foolin'! DITA loves this little oddity films like this one while not brilliant, still manages to fulfill your 'Guilty-Pleasure' craving like a quick fix binge of 'WHITE-CASTLE' Sliders or at 'OUR' crib......... from postmates now of course,  a big Bag of 'Spider-Crunchy's' & a 2-Liter Bottle of 'DIE-IT CHOKE-A-COLA!'  Now back to the Film.

In the film, Muffy St. John invites her school friends to her parents secluded Island Home, just in time for what else? 'APRIL FOOL'S Weekend', silly!  Quicker than you can say, 'Top-Siders', someone starts really trimming the Guest-List! Among the Guests is a Bitchy, Sexy Co-Ed named NIKKI.  She is type-cast perfectly as the 'Bad-Girl' with a major Atti-TUDE! DITA and other 40-Somethings may remember this Actress as ERICA KANE'S Bitchy, conniving Evil Half-Sister, 'SILVER KANE' from the Long-Running Soap; 'ALL MY CHILDREN' ( NOW Airing on 'you-tube', Hon!).)

 DITA must say that I am ecstatic about this being on DVD, Uh, if not for the digital Remastering alone. This '10 LITTLE INDIANS' type Film has a wonderful 'Plot-Twist' not unlike and/or echo-ing the Film
 'THE OTHERS'. Not saying those 2 Horror-Flicks are on the same level mind you, but if you like 'plot-twists' in general w/your Horror , then you may like this Movie's engaging Storyline, babe! It is however one of the reasons 'Mamma-DIRT NAP' likes this film so much and highly recommend it as a 'Guilty-Pleasure' for a dark and stormy night in front of a roaring, crackling fire, complete w/popcorn and fireside-roasted marshmallows on a stick. DITA also likes the sharp-quick transitions in 'APRIL FOOL'S DAY' with the 2 Actors being tortured near the climatic ending that transitions perfectly into revealing the plot-twist.

Also DITA thinks that Music in the film used as 'fear-points' are most effective and have a fun retro-80's Cheezy-ness that to me are very appealing. 'Lady-DIRT NAP' also noticed that there is a believable feel to this group of friends whenever they play 'April-Fool's' pranks on each other as well as when they film each other w/the video camera. There's a genuine feel to those scenes that is usually not present, in most horror-flicks of this particular nature.  DITA also noticed the Scenes w/the video camera are quite fun and provoke a Pre-'BLAIR WITCH' feel.

One of DITA's favorites is lines uttered on the Video Tape is from NIKKI, the Sexy-Bitchy Co-ed played very well by Actress; DEBORAH GOODRICH, formally of 'ALL MY CHILDREN/ERICA KANE'S Little-EVIL Sister, SILVER KANE' Soap-Opera Fame. (To see Deborah Goodrich playing; SILVER KANE up to no good as usual on DITA's Favorite Soap since the 70's, Simply Click here, Dear> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCZ1PRHnPaAu  )

 They ask her to tell them something about herself. Then she nonchalantly states the following;  'OKAY, WELL I WANT TO WORK WITH HANDICAPPED CHILDREN, MY PARENTS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS, I START CONVENT SCHOOL NEXT SEMESTER AND I F_ _ _ ON THE FIRST DATE!'

 Oh my!!! A girl after my own Little Black Heart!  F.Y.I., Later, coincidentally, you see NIKKI in the film getting screwed by her boyfriend with her legs all the way up by her head!  Hmmmmm? I guess she wazn't kidding!  'Good-breeding, I take it??? She reminds so much of someone??? Hmmmm? I wonder who? LMOL!

 Now for the 'EXTRA'S' on this Disc as follows;
 + Widescreen Presentation
 + Scene Selection

 W-O-W, they went all out didn't they? Well, you all know how DITA feels about 'Extra's' not really being included, especially on a great Story like this! A complete Shame!  A 'Behind-The-Scenes Featurette', Interviews with the Cast, Deleted-Scenes and Interviews w/the Cast & Crew wood have been much-appreciated especially now that this Scare-Flick Marked it's 34th Anniversary in 2020!!! I'm just sayin' PARAMOUNT!'

 The Original 'APRIL FOOL'S DAY' Film from 1986, DITA thinks is good horror-rific fun & mystery for all and gives it my Perfect Score of; 3 SKULLS OUT OF 3!!!   To get your own Cult-Horror Copy 2-nite, Simply Click on the 'DVD-Icon' of the Film next to Dear Old' DITA's Review now! Hope u all have a safe & healthy, 'HAPPY HAUNTED APRIL FOOL'S DAY!'
 
 Take-Scare until Next Week & 'CHAINSAW-ELBOW BUMPS' 2 EVERYONE,.................Whatever you are? Butt before DITA forgets, I want to let you know that the Original Movie Poster is available on amazon.com by Clicking on the 'POSTER-Icon' to the Left of my Review! Full Color & Suitable for Framing someone!

 DITA ('TOO BAD YOUR CRAZY') DIRT NAP)

Too see a 'Fan-made Video' of that exact Song from this Movie's Original Soundtrack; 'TOO BAD YOUR CRAZY', Just Click here below>  https://youtu.be/19BkbXMpN00

Click here to see the 'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS' Star in; 'High School Confidential'> http://youtu.be/oPT_O1KsEVc 

Then Click here to see DITA's Favorite that wuz Shown of ;'UNTAMED YOUTH' here> http://youtu.be/lSXIUC0KxgQ

 As usual please Check out this Dita-Fave Site to web-surf for more Horror/Cult Fun as follows;
 www.legendfilms.com
 www.soapnet.com
 www.scarymonstersmagazine.com
 www.facebook.com/xangohenry
 www.somethingweird.com
 www.facebook.com/MamieVanDoren
 www.shoutfactory.com  ( Excellent Selection of DVD's!)
 www.elvira.com
 www.fangoria.com
 www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
 www.shockcinemamagazine.com  (One of DITA's Faves!)
 www.radiohalloween.com
 www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (While DITA & DUG GRAVES Urge you All to 'Shelter-in-Place' and Only go out for Essentials, witch we Can't Stress Enuff, You can be Entertained at home Every Friday Night by Tune-ing in to DUG GRAVES HORROR RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night, Hon!!! DUG GRAVES & DITA DIRT NAP Urge you ALL to practice 'Shelter-in-Place, 'Daily till this real-life Horror is Over and Gone! P-L-E-A-S-E!)

 


'HORROR OF DRACULA'
Hammer Film Productions, LTD.
Directed By; Terence Fisher
Produced By; Anthony Hinds
Starring; The Man; CHRISTOPHER LEE,
Peter Cushing, Michael Gough, Melissa Stribling
Screen Play By; Jimmy Sangster
From The Novel By; Bram Stoker 1958 DVD

Well, Hello again, my little festering Spider Bites! Tis I, your MADONNA of the Macabre, DITA DIRT NAP, bringing you DITA a long-time Lee-Fan wants to thank Christopher for entertaining us all these decades w/his wonderful Film roles that end his long resume of work and sharing his talent w/the world as long as he did!

It is with great pleasure that I bring you his most identified role as the infamous Hammer-Vampire in the 'HORROR OF DRACULA' with CHRISTOPHER LEE's FANG-tastic, first-ever performance as the Lord of the Undead!!!  Take a look at the ultra-fangtastic Trailer by Clicking here, Hon> https://youtu.be/ZTbY0BgIRMk

This 1958 'HAMMER-FILM by the way, is Dedicated to one of DITA's cool-est East Coast Fans, MR. LARRY M. SMITH, who is a 'HAMMER' Fan as well as a Christopher Lee Fan!

The BEST in the Hammer Series, highly recommended!" -says John Stanley, 'CREATURE FEATURES'. This picture was a Star-Making-Role for Mr. Lee and stands the test-of-time!

DITA can't praise this beautifully-gothic film enough! Where should I start? DITA can't get over the lush, colorful, breath-taking-sets, backgrounds, lighting, cast and most of all, that LUSH, dark, piece-of-property-of-ENVY.......CHRISTOPHER LEE.......Uh, I mean uh, 'CASTLE DRACULA'! primo piece of real estate if I ever saw one! You know what they say in real- estate, 'LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Wonder if DRAC' needs a bed-mate, uh, I mean room-mate?  'WHAT?' DITA's used to sleeping in a Coffin......minus the steak thru the heart! Tee-he!

Any-hoo, in this British version of 'Bram Stoker's'- 'DRACULA' the infamous 'Blood-Sucker', NO, not YOU, DEREK......travels from Transylvania to London and meets the also Infamous DR. VAN HELSING. Not before meeting Librarian, Jonathan Harker, who arrives at 'Castle Dracula' to put Drac's Library..........in order. UH-HUH!  Hello; Billy-Ray!

Derek screams; 'FOCUS!'
DITA responds; Right!

Quickly after arriving, he is greeted by Dracula's 'Soup Du Jour' Bride and she...............tries to BITE him! 'NO!"  'YES!! DITA just wants to say ,she just loves 'HAMMER' Films.......BUT what's up with this chick's hair?? Bad home perm, then cut too SHORT with hair extensions added! 'Hon, you gotta STOP buying those CHEAP perms at the local 'PIGGLY-WIGGLY!' L-O-V-E your gothically-cool Grecian-dress though!

Any-way, DRACULA shows up just in time to throw the Vamp-girl around the room like a rag-doll! Love her long Vampire teeth, by the way! DITA hopes she brushes after every meal, for Pete's sake!  She probably doesn't even carry a mirror in her clutch purse..........either, uh, oh right, she can't see herself any-way! Love the way Mr. Lee looks so sinister in this scene, with BLOOD dripping down both sides of his mouth! What a turn on! Looks just like someone interrupted one of his feedings! Is it hot in here tonight? Or is it just me?

Mr. HARKER ends up driving a stake thru her heart, later, down in the catacombs! That pisses DRACULA off to no end!  Why, you may ask? Cuz, now he has to find another GAL-PAL, silly!  That's where LUCY comes in! 'I LOVE LUCY!"

Lucy suddenly starts suffering from anemia!  She also starts to have a newly acquired HATRED of garlic, crosses and.............LOCKED doors and windows! Might as well hang a sign above her 4-poster bed hat says; 'DRAC' SLEPT HERE!'

To make a long story short, LUCY quickly dies and becomes one of the Undead!  Carousing around LATE at night, taking late night strolls with her too-young niece and using her Crypt as a 'SINGLE ROOM, FURNISHED'.............. without 'Jayne Mansfield'! 'Hello? 'Obscure-Cult-Movie-References-R-Us! How may we help? Y-E-S, This is Jayne, B-A-B-Y!  Where wuz I?

Yes, so then Van Helsing puts a stake thru Lucy's Vampiric Heart, all while she grimaces wildly and SCREAMS like a BANSHEE!  Her seemingly-in-the-closet brother cowers up against the tomb wall while this take place. Then she is at peace! DRACULA, then goes back to the drawing board and tries to find YET another 'GAL-PAL' by going after Lucy's Brother's Wife, MINA.  Are ya followin' me? He tricks her into meeting him at the local 'Coffin's-R-Us'!  Then DRACULA slowly emerges from a WHITE coffin by pulling the lid back and.............'POP GOES THE WEASEL!

She then gets a transfusion from her effeminate/hubby.  Before you can even say, 'WTF', Dracula pounces again........ THEN one last time, this time he carries her off to an open grave and tosses MINA in like a LIMP rag, seriously, FOLKS, watch for it. He even starts to throw DIRT on top of her. MINA screams, then she's buried alive in about 5 seconds flat! Wow!

Dracula is then chased by Dr. Van Helsing but Mina's Hubby stays behind to quickly UN-bury her!  Awww! How thoughtful! Then the COOL show-down that's not-to-be missed!  Oooooh, DITA loves a good fight to the finish especially in a 'HAMMER' Film! Cue the DRAMATIC-'HAMMER' music that accompanies EACH and every Film but specifically he FIGHT scenes!  They scuffle back and forth in the Castle before Van Helsing played brilliantly by 'Horror-Staple' PETER CUSHING, dives and makes a DRAMATIC leap at the Castle curtains ( crushed-velvet, of course!) cuz it's almost day break, kids!  Which sets Count Dracula played brilliantly and charismatically by CHRISTOPHER LEE on fire! He's MELTING, he's MELTING!! END SCENE!

But WAIT! His ring is left in the pile of ash on the Castle Dracula floor!  Cue the Sequel. please! 1960's 'BRIDES OF DRACULA'?  Oh wait, DITA Reviewed that eon's ago!

Well Kids, this is where I came in! To follow up though before DITA ends another long-winded Review, Christopher Lee did not appear in the sequel 'Brides Of Dracula'!  He waited and appeared in the 3rd Installment from 1966 'DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS' never speaking any dialogue, while doing battle with a Rifle-carrying Priest! Hmmmmm!  In the Future, kiddies, DITA promises, if your good little Ghoulies!

The EXTRAS, sadly are few, however, still appreciated! They are as follows;
*Theatrical Trailer (Very dramatic & cool w/lot's of 'Hammer's dramatic Music interred.)
* 'DRACULA Lives Again ( Hammer's Dracula Films Numerically explained in Order! Nice Touch!)
*Cast & Crew Chart (Brief, not complete.)
* Subtitles; English, French, Spanish & Portuguese ( DITA uses them.)

This film is a Cult Horror Classic and looks absolutely beautiful on this DVD Digital Transfer! Christopher Lee is brilliant, charming, horrorifying, and DITA couldn't help BUT be in a TRANCE when ever he comes onscreen in THIS film or any other old or NEW!!!  He was an amazing actor with an amazing larger-than-life Presence and was STILL going strong even to the end.

DITA gives 'HORROR OF DRACULA' 3 SKULLS Out of 3!

Watch it in the DARK with a FIEND, tonight!

 

 

For more 'A to Z' Info on Mr. Christopher Lee, PLEASE go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Lee
Until Next Week,
'Chainsaw-Kisses',
DITA ('RAPTURE') DIRT NAP
(Too hear that exact song from Super-Group BLONDIE, simply Click here, Dear> ) https://youtu.be/h2eJRM3X-18

Scare-mail; DDN1965@LIVE.COM
P.S.
Please check out the following DITA-Suggested sites as follows;
www.legendfilms.com
www.elvira.com
www.somethingweird.com  (Great Cult-Video selection says DITA!)
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com
www.cinespia.org  (Movies shown in the infamous Hollywood Forever Cemetery ever Summer in LA.!)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com  (LA, CA.)
www.electricduskdrivein.com  (In Downtown L.A., CA. )
www.thenewbev.com
www.thefairfaxtheater.com  (Formerly the Infamous Silent Movie Theater in LA,CA. )

THIS REVIEW DEDICATED TO THE LATE CHRISTOPHER LEE AND HIS LONG-TIME FANS AROUND THE GLOBE!

 


LEPRECHAUN 2
Trimark Pictures
Directed by Rodman Flender.
Starring Warwick Davis, etc
(1994) DVD

Top 'O the evening to you me lads and lasses. It’s I, your Shamrock Horror/Cult -Diva, DITA DIRT NAP!!!

Let me the first to wish you an Early 'Happy Saint Patrick’s Day', here in “DITA’S DEN”! As you all know last year , DITA reviewed the first Leprechaun movie in the series. Take a look at the horrorrific Trailer for Leprechaun 1 by clicking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VY0zMyGcu8

So this weekend, I bring you “LEPRECHAUN 2” Take a look at the horrorrific Trailer for Leprechaun 2 by clicking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pICyIt7o4Mk

Let DITA just say that this is my third time reviewing these movies. What I love about this franchise is that each movie remains entertaining until the next installment comes along. This sequel starts out with the evil Leprechaun looking for a bride, this time in my neck of the woods, Hollyweird. This film should be called “LEPRECHAUN 2 BRIDE OF THE LEPRECHAUN” as it is all about her.

The evil Leprechaun starts out his shenanigans on Saint Patrick’s Day, of course. His first trick is tying down a homeless man, grabbing a pair of pliers and performing a little amateur dentistry. Why you may ask? To rip out the gold tooth silly!

Earlier in the movie Davis tries to abduct a bride in the woods in another century. That failed attempt is stopped by the would be bride’s father who utters the magic words when she sneezes for the third time saying “God Bless You”  This puts the birthday boy (who by the way, just turned a thousand) in a afoul mood until the next century.

Flash forward 1994, where he attempts to kidnap the next in the blood line who just happens to have a boyfriend. The boyfriend by the way is having none of that! He first captures her and confines her to his haunted caverns. The boyfriend along with his trustee senior friend/coworker (they run the Haunted Death Tours in Hollywood) and make many attempts at saving the would-be bride.

Now as you usually know DITA doesn’t like to tell the whole story so I will skip to my “Things-2-Look-4” as follows:

*Scene with Davis/’Lep’ tricking a Hollywood agent into offering up his gold ring. (How you may ask? By chopping off his finger with the ring attached!!!)
*Scene with hero boyfriend and his senior friend trying to drink the Leprechaun under the table at a bar full of people. (It is Saint Patrick’s Day, you know!)
*Scene with Lep trying to play “Death Race 2000” with the boyfriend by running him over in his souped-up go cart, complete with gold rims (What else?)
*Scene where senior friend gets greedy after trapping the Leprechaun and demanding 3 wishes. The Leprechaun unleashes his wrath by magically making a big pot of gold appear in his stomach, causing death. (What a way to go!)
*Scene with hero/boyfriend in the Haunted Leprechaun Caverns fighting a skeleton controlled by the Leprechaun. End scene where DITA will just say that a gory explosion takes place of a cast member!

Now for the extras included on the disc of LEPRECHAUN 2 as follows:

+ Original theatrical trailer
+ Dolby 2.0 surround sound
+ Scene selection.

DITA thinks the extras are miniscule and hope they have added more extras on the LEPRECHAUN collection. I said I Hoped!

DITA loved the story line of the second film in the series and of course loved the bridal theme, the pace of the movie, the setting and of course the cast which is led by the talented Warwick Davis!

This Holiday Horror Fest hits all the right notes and kept this “Ghoul-Verde” entertained from beginning to end while “B.J.” and I sat drinking our 'green- beer' and our 'road-kill'-pizza on our love seat built for two.

Just a word to the wise and to all my readers: “THIS ST. PATTY’S DAY, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!!! “CALL A CAB, LYFT or UBER, INSTEAD, POR FAVOR!!! This message brought to you by “THE BETTER BONE-BITCH COUNSEL”.

DITA gives this fright flick 2½ SKULLS out of 3!

To get your greedy little green hands on your own copy just click on the “DVD-Icon” next to Dear old DITA’s Review tonight!

Part 3 to come in March of 2021, Hon!

 

 

Until next week, “CHAINSAW-KISSES”,
DITA ('It’s Not Easy Being Green') DIRT NAP

To see Kermit the Frog singing this little ditty on “Sesame Street”, simply click here, hon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpiIWMWWVco

To contact me: DDN1965@live.com

As usual please check out and surf these websites for more horror fun:
www.fangoria.com
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com
www.thenewbev.com  (for New Beverly Cinema’s movie listings for March,2020.)
www.somethingweird.com
www.halloweenuniversity.com
www.shockcinemamagazine.com
www.elvira.com
www.radiohalloween.com
 www.facebook.com/WarwickDavis
www.thefairfaxtheater.com  (Formerly known as 'The Silent Movie Theater in LA, CA.)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves  (Tune In Every Friday Night to hear DUG GRAVES HORROR-Radio Show, Hon!)

 


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Creature Feature © D. Dyszel 2020
and by
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor