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'EVIL BONG 3; WRATH OF THE BONG: 3D'
From ;Full Moon Pictures
Directed & Produced By Charles Band
Starring; Mitch Eakins as Bachman, Jacob
Witkin as Gramps, Dr. Weed, Peter Stickles,
Michelle Mais as the Original Evil Bong; Eebee,
Circus Szalewski as The Alien Bong,
Christina Derosa as Nurse Hookah, Etc.
Well Hello again my little 'green'-spider bites! Tis I , your 'Horror/Cult Mary-Jane' Ghoul-Gal, DITA DIRT NAP!
Now last year and the year before DITA brought you in Honor of the upcoming '420'-Celabration on April 20th 'EVIL BONG 1' & 'EVIL BONG 2'. So this year DITA continues the tradition-greenery w/'EVIL BONG 3'; WRATH OF THE BONG' once again from one of my favorite low budget film companies FULL MOON PICTURES! The Tag-Line of this Culty-Flick reads; 'THE DUDES ARE BACK IN A TRIPPY GALACTIC STONER-HORROR/COMEDY!'
With that being said Hon, this time the 'usual suspects', uh,
meaning the same cast , are back. It picks up about 2 years after Part 2 with
the Nerdy/Brainiac Guy now working for a science company and of course tracks a
'meaty-or-right'/mini space capsule that lands in the woods after a new old dude
has just buried his former nagging wife in said woods after offing her. He
sees the 'meaty-or-right' land and goes to investigate it. He touches the mossy
thing and gets some outer space green stuff which he then spreads on his tongue.
Why you may ask? DITA doesn't know but afterwards the
space-ship/'meaty-or-right' starts to open and up pops a 'Alien-Bong'. Long
story short, the Nerdy/Brainiac comes along after he leaves and collects some
samples of the mossy green stuff on it. He then runs into one of his former
roommates from the first 2 films in said woods and they catch-up and then decide
to take the
'weed-smelling' samples to one of the other former roomies own weed store in Venice beach here in la. Wah-lah, what do you know they are all reunited, uh, the former roommates, hon.
So the 'stoner-surfer dude' from the first 2 flicks and the 'jock-dude' from Parts 1 & 2 now run the legal pot shop on the beach. Before you can say; 'MOTA', (Spanish for; weed, Hon.) the Old dude from the woods who had buried his murdered wife shows up at the afore mentioned shop to try and sell them the newly found 'Alien-Bong'. Another long story short. He does and quickly splits. Then as you would guess the 'surfer-dude/stoner' is the first to be tempted to smoke from the 'Alien-Bong'.
Of course he is then transported after toking the Bong to the
Alien-Planet it came from. After that kids, Gramps shows up at the Pot-Shop from
the earlier films but now he is a Medical Weed Dr. who calls himself; 'DR.
WEED!' (Too funny, Honey!) He also has in tow his new girlfriend and Nurse
called; 'NURSE HOOKAH!' Before DITA goes any further, here is the Mota-Culty
Trailer of; 'EVIL BONG 3' for you to Inhale by Clicking here, Dude>
Next up before you know it like last time the almost all the boys, their old Senior-Friend from the last films and Dr. Weed purposely partake of the 'Alien-Bong' to dive into the alien planet to once again save their dumb 'dopey-dee-doh' friends. Save them from what this time , you may ask? Why to save them from the topless alien-gals who trick the men into being hooked up to, wait for it? Wait for it?? To save them all from being hooked up to penis-milking machines that extract all their DITA will say; 'baby-batter!' Why , you may ask again? To make a half alien/half human race to come down and mix with the human race and take over planet-earth! You thought they were maybe making a new strain of dna-weed, perhaps? LOL, but on 2nd thought, Yuck!
One thing leads to another, and the 'stoner-/surfer dude' ends up being milked so much that he for some strange reason grows the afore mentioned greenery-moss aka 'alien-flour' aka 'alien-weed' all over his body. Then DITA didn't quite understand the next part but here it goes.......they line up the topless alien-nympho gals, the now for some reason banzai guy/former roommate, one of them DITA forgets which one but he has on a banzai head-band and a Asian letter symbol shirt thru the entire film does some weird martial arts moves in sped-up time, then has the surfer/stoner dude smoke himself , by collecting alien-weed moss/greenery from his own body, rolls it up in joint-form, smoke it himself and the martial-arts guy/banzai dude karate chops it , while the stoner-dude/surfer guy blows the smoke towards the alien-chicks and they fall down in a heap and convulse a little, which all this in turn blows up the 'alien-bong'.......? W-A-I-T!
DITA forgot something in the culty-mess, I forgot to tell you that DR. WEED also brought back the original 'evil-bong'; EEBEE back and into the 'alien-bong' planet/world to give helpful advice/instructions to help the former roommates get out of there again and/or explain to the boys why they were being milked for their dna and instructions on how to rip off the alien-suck machine from their wangs. Again, too funny, messy, dumb, but 'HIGH'-LY entertaining to this Horror/Cult Mota-Diva! Btw , after blowing up the 'alien-bong', they some how are magically back at the pot-shop all safe and sound. Oh those meddling kids, thinks DITA!
The end of this 'must-of-smoked-weed-when-they-wrote-it' horror-comedy stoner flick leaves the you scratching your head and thinking, wait, what are those 2 characters going to do with the, the??? As you already know by now that DITA never tells the entire ending so get to Clicking on 'DVD-Icon' of this weird, trippy but so bad it's good 'mary-jane' horror/comedy flick; 'EVIL BONG 3; REEFER MADNESS' to find out the ending for yourself tonight, next to dear old DITA's munchy Review!
DITA always finds these 'EVIL BONG Flicks' low-budget fun and entertaining even when they don't make much sense. It helps to watch this Flick baked for More viewing-enjoyment pleasure if your over 21, Hon! Just forget to have plenty of 'munchies' around before you start it my little 'coffin-creepers!' Any of these films thus far are pure low-budget ,'turn-your-brain-off-for-awhile' fun! Remember the first one was Hosted by ELVIRA and still can be found on Amazon-Prime. The others of witch their are 'M-A-N-Y', can also be found on Tubi-TV, Dear.
really enjoyed watching this one in honor of 420 this year and will Review 'Evil
Bong 4' in 2022 for 420 once again for your pleasure-med. (inside west
Hollyweird joke, hon.)
I DITA DIRT NAP, here in 'DITA's-DEN' give this 'dumb-fun'- flick 2 and a Half SKULLS Out Of A 3 SKULLS Score!
Until Next Time,
'Surgical-Mask' Covered Almost completely Vaccinated Kisses,
DITA ( 'Elvira Smoking A Bong Clip') DIRT NAP
(To see that exact Clip w/Elvira Hosting the First 'Evil-Bong' Movie, Click here, if your not sliding down the wall from your strain of 'Fri-Yay', Babe> https://youtu.be/LfMKtD_c3UA)
P.S. DITA forgot to mention that this Films comes in
3-D,which is even better for your high-times viewing and its Regular Format. (Whoopsie!
Contact DITA @ DDN1965@LIVE.COM
As always check out these 'DITA-Suggested' sites as follows;
www.tubitv.com Watch Free Movies and TV Shows Online
www.elvira.com (DITA says; Check out her Collection Pack of Vintage ELVIRA-Comics Newly Available!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Check out their New Schedule of fun-films says DITA DIRT NAP!)
www.herbarium.com (LA, CA.)
www.cinespia.org (Now w/Drive-In!)
www.radiohalloween.com Radio Halloween plays best Halloween music and stories all day, all night, & all year! C
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune in to the DUG GRAVES HORROR-RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night! DITA LIKE-Y! I'll be on someday when DITA figures out the technology of how, Dear!)
www.cinespia.org Since 2002, Cinespia’s Hollywood Forever Cemetery outdoor movies have offered audiences one of the most magical nightlife entertainment experiences in greater Los Angeles
www.herbarium.com Home Design Discussions - GardenWeb
www.electricduskdrivein.com LA's longest running pop up Drive-In theater company and outdoor movie venue since 2012.
'THIS REVIEW DITA DEDICATES TO HER GOOD FIEND/ONE STREET OVER NEIGHBOR; 'THE MAD DR.-D.!!!' He loves to Blaze, HON!
'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA'
Directed By; Ishiro Honda
Starring; Tadao Takashima, Yu Fujiki, Etc.
Welcome back my little 'Spider-Bites!' Tis I, your Horror/Cult Hostess with the Mostest in all the right, rotted places, DITA DIRT NAP!
Now let me tell you earlier this week, DITA, her "Vamp-Hubby';
'B.J.' and her long-time old friend from her punk/new wave days;
'Billy-Ray', all decided since we all got vaccinated to venture out into the
movies. Complete w/Temperature checks, Masks, and social-distancing being
enforced in the theater in IMAX even to see the 'Whoop-Ass' Fight of the Year
w/ring side seats to the New 'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA in 2021! We were thrilled
with all the action, the good storyline, even Millie Bobby Brown from; 'Stranger
Things', from the last film. DITA will tell you it was a great film updating
w/great fight scenes that even became Two plus One is three. DITA won't give
anything away but I will say I was satisfied w/the outcome and the winner.
That's kind of my mini-review of this Fantastic New Version of ; 'KING KONG VS.
GODZILLA', Hon! DITA also highly suggests seeing it either in the theaters now
or on HBO MAX! Either way DITA can't say enuff great things about it! You can
even hear the sounds made by each monster when they are punched or hit in H.D.
DITA LIKE-Y! In fact ,my little 'coffin-creepers', DITA gives it my Perfect
Score of 3 Skulls Out of A 3 Skulls SCORE! To see the Trailer for 'KING KONG VS.
GODZILLA-2021,Simply Click Here, Dear>
So with that being said DITA decided to bring the O.G. from 1963; 'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA this week! Let DITA first say I first saw the Original film back in the 70's on TV one night watching it a 'slumber-party' sleep-over w/my Cousins Judy & Chucky Dirt Nap on my hometown's local late night station called KPLR TV 11. We giggled, cheered and devoured home pizza Mummy Dirt Nap had made for us and at one point in the campy/fun fight scene. DITA's Cousin Chucky Dirt Nap got excited when Kong grabbed Godzilla's tail and he shouted in his southern accent; 'GET THAT JOKER!' So let me start with the storyline of this old-fashioned fun & campy flick, Hon. To see the campy-Cool Trailer from 1963 of; 'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA', just Click here my little "Blood-Bags'> https://youtu.be/ljLQZXOUNjw
They start out showing Godzilla being awakened in the ocean and busting thru a glacier. Then the cut to what I'm guessing is Kong Island/Monster Island, eventually showing Kong after a somewhat strange scene with a Asian
News reporter talking about healing berries from a certain native island that have healing properties but also if made into juice acts as somewhat of a 'sleep-aid'/sleeping pill. Now the Japanese News immediately starts reporting about Godzilla's where abouts since re-awaking and of course is headed for Tokyo or somewhere in Japan with a high index of people. By doing this they scare the 'bee-jesus' out of everybody. In the meantime a local woman is told by a friend/neighbor that her husband plane has crashed and only 27 people survived. She later finds out after the fact that his boss made him work late which in turn made him miss his flight. But as DITA mentioned she didn't find that out till later.
So the woman quickly takes a train to where the survivors are. Long story short, her train is course attacked by Godzilla, uh a actor in a rubber suit in this film. When Godzilla attacks the woman tries to get off the train to waiting armed service men in trucks waiting to take the train riders to safety. She gets controlled by the crowd and is now left behind to fend for herself. DITA must say when this woman flees and starts running along the road, she does it over dramatically, complete with her arms flailing all over the place.
Quickly she heads down into a creek after seeing Godzilla up ahead on the tracks. When she heads into the creek, she again over dramatically flails her arms and now also her legs as she runs thru the shallow water. DITA thinks scene is very campy and fun just the way I like it! Remember DITA thinks bad-acting is entertaining when its done bad enuff and ends up comedic-buffunory. Just sayin'! Anyway, Japan sees that Godzilla needs his ears-boxed, by someone? But who?
Cue King Kong back on Monster Island, after terrorizing a mother and child in a hut, being fed the healing/sleep aid berry juice by armed forces. Why you may ask? Uh, so he can konk-out, go to sleep and then have the military tie him down to a giant raft, float him over to where Godzilla's at in the ocean and let them have it, silly! That is the first fight scene dear but the later 'main-event' comes later when they end up air-lifting Kong by way of wires and big balloons over to where Godzilla is trudging thru the woods unsuspectingly and then the military, literally drops Kong from the air, where he slides on his bottom down a hill and actually kicks Godzilla in his ass as he lands into him hard! And its on!
They fight back in fourth. Godzilla at one point while Kong is down, begins beating him with his own tail , over and over. Finally Kong has had enuff of the big green ones massive tail and yanks Godzilla's tail, then grabs it and throws him around with it. At another point DITA enjoyed a part in the culty-cool fight where Kong is stuffing trees he uprooted from the ground and starts shoving them down Godzilla's angry throat. At another point Kong is down maybe for the count and you hear the cast tell one another that a electrical storm is approaching and that Kong is always strengthened by electricity. The electrical storm then strikes Kong over and over directly in his face, thus indeed reviving him. he then goes after Godzilla with a vengeance.
By the way, before the fight there is a scene reminiscent Asian Fay Wray, sitch that has Kong picking up the afore mentioned over-dramatic lady and walking off with her with military being told to get him to let her go safely, they fire rockets over Kong's head as he is on top of a tall building w/Miss Overdramatic , as the rockets are fired over head they sprinkle down to him in his mouth the also afore-mentioned berry-juice night-night juice, which makes makes Kong lie down and fall asleep thus causing him to release the woman from his hairy palm where her own brother brings her to safety. Now DITA doesn't want to reveal the winner of this 'cult-ta-licous' and very campy battle that has long been DITA's Favorite Godzilla Flick of All, but I will say that in the end, one swims away a winner and one disappears into 'looser-ville' til the next Godzilla installment, of which there are many!
DITA loves this film the best out of all the Godzilla films because of it's high camp-factor, cheap sets, bad acting, bad but fun dubbing in English , bad special-effects of the time it was made as well as at one point in the film when King Kong is walking away you can clearly see the costumes big long zipper down the actors back. LOVE IT, LOVE IT. L-O-V-E IT!!!!!
Before DITA forgets I wanted to mention how silly, cheap and
funny King Kong's costume is and the weird/mondo look of his face and choppers
aka teeth are! As well as the plentiful toy cars and such in this 'too-much-fun
flick!' Stuff like that is right up DITA's rotted-alley! Too Funny! As you know
by know DITA's a fan of things like that which are all included in this film
which to this nostalgic 'ghoul-gal' and all-around 'Bone-Bitch' is over half the
fun and/or high entertainment factor! DITA highly suggests watching this film
like I did at a future vaccinated slumber party with road-kill pizza with extra
tire-tracks and a 2 liter bottle of ;'Choke-A-Cola' and ooey-gooey buttered
'scare-corn',uh, I mean popcorn with or thru HD stereo speakers on your TV,
so you won't miss a single Godzilla roar or Kong's infamous beating of his chest
with lots of bass cranked to the max, Hon! DITA loved watching this Cult-Fest
Monster Battle-Royale w/cheese again w/my 'Vamp-Hubby'; 'B.J.' and our devilish
doggy; 'Chilling-China' at our side!
DITA thinks things are starting to finally look-up but stills heavily wearing your mask, even after your vaccinated and sends a big thank you to Singer/Actress DOLLY PARTON for my Moderna vaccine shots!!! DITA gives this fun camp-fest from 1963 called; 'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA' a perfect Score of 3 Skulls Out Of 3!!!
Uh, did I mention the Camp-factor? LOL! To get your own Copy tonight ,simply Click on the 'DVD-Icon' to the left of Dear Old DITA's Review!!! Also DITA thinks try re-watching this fun flick a 2nd time con/mota ,and uh, lots of snacks!!! (Giggle, giggle, Hon!)
Next week join me back here in "DITA's-DEN' as I review for the upcoming smoke & toke holiday of 4/20 w/my Review of; 'EVIL BONG 3'.
'Surgical-Mask' covered Kisses,
DITA ( 'Godzilla's Theme' ) DIRT NAP
(To see hear that Song from the 'Godzilla-98'-Soundtrack by
DIDDY, Click here> https://youtu.be/KKgYvcfrxj4 )
Contact DITA @ DDN1965@LIVE.COM
p.s. Special Thanks to DITA's Good longtime Friend; 'BILLY-RAY'
for braving the theater to see the New ;'KING KONG VS. GODZILLA' and More! Miss
you already! Thanks for our Special-Culty Friendship since 1985!
THIS REVIEW ALSO DEDICATED TO DITA's FRIEND and Co-Hort; 'BILLY-RAY' in Texas!
As usual check out these 'DITA-Suggested' Sites as follows;
www.mymoviemonsters.com is the home of Scary Monsters Magazine and your online source for classic monster, horror, fantasy and sci-fi magazines, collectibles, models, figures, movies, and more.
www.electricduskdrivein.com (DITA says ;CHECK OUT THEIR Movies-List for APRIL, Hon!)
www.amoebamusic.com (Now Re-Opened at their brand spanking new Location On HOLLYWOOD BLVD. DITA went earlier this week!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune in Every Friday Night to DUG GRAVES HORROR-RADIO SHOW! DITA Like-y)
© D. Dyszel 2021
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor