Dita's Den, the home of Horror Movie Reviewer Dita Dirt Nap on Count Gore De Vol's show
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'THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER'
Directed By; Jon Hall
Produced By; Edward Janis
Starring; JON HALL, SUE CASEY, Kingsley-The Lion, etc.
Music By; Frank Sinatra Jr., etc.
Wade Williams Collection
Image Entertainment
DVD 1965

Hi Kids! It's me again, your 'Horror/Cult Surfer-Chick/Beach Babe', DITA DIRT NAP! As you may have noticed, it's 'Summer-Time' again.

Here in 'DITA's DEN', that can only mean one thing. Yes, my 'Little Zombie-Surfers & Surf-ettes', where going 'Back-To-The-Beach', starting with my past Favorite; 'THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTERS'!!! So grab your 'SUN-SCREAM', your hip-est sun shades and the nearest 'Blood Beach'- Ball.  While this 'BONE-BITCH IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI' grabs her surf board & 'water-proof', I-pod, Hon! L-o-v-e it!!! Good thing that my 'HORROR/CULT DRIVE-IN''s not that far from this Beach, my 'Little Seagull-droppings'.

'Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer' Interrupts', 'Which Beach is that, may I ask?'
'DITA' Responds; 'The one where 'THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE SURF', silly!!!' (A actual Song title in the Movie that DITA has on her 'water-proof' I-pod 'Play List', no foolin'!')

 

 

Let me start this Review of 'THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER' with how it's listed in my favorite Book, 'CULT FLICKS AND TRASH PICS', still available on Amazon. Com that describes this fun 'horror-beach romp' flick; (loosely transcribed);
THIS MOVIES ONE ON THE CUTTING EDGE OF GENRE BLENDING. IT CLOSELY MAINTAINS THE DEPTH AND PRODUCTION VALUES OF '60'S'  BEACH BIMBO FARE. IT ALSO MANAGES TO GRAFT SUCCESSFULLY W/THE  HEINOUS MONSTER FROM THE SEA GENRE TO PRODUCE A HYBRID HORROR WITH ACRES Of 'FLESH FOR FANTASY'. (Another Billy Idol song-reference for yoots!)

They took the words right outta' my skull! The DVD 'Tag-Line' reads; 'SURFER CHICKS AND SLIMY CHILLS!' To view exactly that, Click here for the 'Ultra-Campy' Trailer of 'T.B.G.A.T.M.'; https://youtu.be/cnlL4yKrD2s

 

See what I mean? 'Don't cha' just love it?' This 'horror/beach flick' has everything DITA loves, bad over-acting, bad songs, except for 'Monster In The Surf' (Look for the Music Video of it Coming in Episode of 'Horror/Cult Drive-In', my 'little-spider bites'!') bizarre manic beach dancing, badly performed death scenes, weird/strange close-ups, fun/cheesy monster suit and cool 'MONDO-Camera work!!! Kudos 2 the Director JON HALL, for that!

Now for the fun/campy/culty Storyline; Oh, did I mention there's also lot's of 'heavy-petting' and making-out between these crazy-kids? Wildly gyrating teens inhabit beach. Scary/cheesy Monster starts teenage 'claw-killings' on said beach. Teens get scared but still inhabit said beach. Hmmm? Police start investigating. (Where's 'Kelton-The-Cop,' (an ED WOOD-reference for ya, Kids!) when you need him?) 'Monster-In-The-Surf' continues 'claw-killing' rampage.  'UH-DUH!!!' Sexy-'M.I.L.F.-y' Step-Mother gives Step-son hard time cuz she's shallow & has no shame. Bitchy Step-Mom gets 'come-uppance', but how? Hmmmm??? Murdering-Monster gets found out and gets quickly involved in police-car chase, YES, DITA said 'car-chase'. (Who knew they let 'Beach-Monsters' take the Written Driver's Test at the 'D.M.V.'???)

The rest of this 'BLEACH BLANKET BLOOD BATH' (An obscure Unfinished 'ED WOOD' Movie reference for ya'.) you'll have to view for yourself babe, by Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' next to Dear old' DITA's Review.

Before you do that here are 'DITA's Things-2-Look-4' List ' in this cool/campy, beach fright flick;
*Any and all dancing Scenes. Best described as 'mondo-manic' & culty/fun! (Note; The famous 'at-the-time' 'WATUSI DANCING GIRLS' From L.A.'s 'WHISKEY A-GO-GO' are featured in the film. You know the place on the 'Sunset Strip' where I wuz murdered in my former life as 'Dancer/Street-Walker', 'ROXANNE RED-LIGHT'!  Just a bit of DITA Bio' Trivia, kids.)

* Any Murdering, Beach-Monster Scenes! Hilarious, but not meant to be! ('2-DIE-4' thinks DITA.)

*Make-Out Scenes. At one point 'Twin Guys' take turns smooching the same beach babe. (What.....a Puta! DITA wood know! Tee-hee.)

*Stock-footage in color of Surfers riding the waves. (DITA wood Edit them down. 'W-H-A-T?')

*Look for brunette beach girl sitting next to the guy with the guitar, she keeps shaking her 'bazooms' to the Song, ODDLY, I might add! (Love it anyway.)

* Beach scene with 'weird-limp' guy who gets blamed for a Beach-Monster Killing who knows later how to use a sharp object on said Monster.

* Fun scene where the Lion-Puppet,' Kingsley' Introduces the song DITA likes most while teens sit around beach camp-fire, called 'THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE SURF'!!!

* DITA's favorite scene in the film done with 'mondo-weird/cool camera work' and 'Set-Up Shots'; where the 'M.I.L.F.-y' hot overtly, overly Sexy bitchy Step-Mom drunkenly makes her way down a hallway, choreographed sexy, stumbly steps Included, to only be attacked by her..........uh, by the......uh, oh, right, I n-e-v-e-r tell the near/ending of the movie, darlings!!! (Siento!)

Lastly & scares-ly, the Minuscule 'EXTRAS' on this 'bloody-beach towel' disc;
+Trailer (Thank goodness for small favors!)
+Scene Selection

Oh well, maybe 'Legend Films' will some day Colorize this culty little beach-horror gem and add more 'special features'.  We can only hope. Also let me just say, if ED WOOD ever did a 'horror-themed beach flick', it wood probably look a lot like this one!

I, DITA DIRT NAP gives 'guilty-pleasure' beach monster flick '3 SKULLS OUT Of A 3 SKULLS' Score!!! 'SCARE-TAB-U-LUS!'  Especially high Score for the 'Shades Of Ed Wood' Vibe, this picture has going for it!  High marks in DITA's Book!!! I should Host this 'Monster Flick. Hmmmm???

 

 

 

 

Well, as the Sun goes down on the culty, crashing waves at the Beach, why don't you head over to my 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' and take a look at these 'Horror-rific' 'DRIVE-IN PREVIEWS' (Of witch 'Horror Of Party Beach' from last Summer here in the 'DEN'
is Included, just 4 u, by Clicking here; https://youtu.be/0tchd6CJsrI

'HUNGRY?' Then get to that Concession stand, before that Line gets to long. DITA wood race you there, BUT as you know, it's hard to run in my 'O.P.' Flip-Flops!!!

Next week 'another' Beach-Horror Flick, entitled; 'BLOOD BEACH' w/JOHN SAXTON!

Till next week,
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA ('MONSTER-IN-MY-PANTS') DIRT NAP
{To see that Big '80's' Music Video, 'Monster In My Pants' By FRED SCHNEIDER Of 'THE B-52'S'}, just click here; https://youtu.be/5DXn5VZNoIQ )

Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DDN1965@LIVE.COM 

p.s. DITA also wants you to know that the Movie-Poster for; ''THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER' is available on Amazon. Com 11 x17 by Clicking on the 'Poster-Icon' next to Dear old DITA's Review!

 

 

 

 


As always Check out these DITA-Suggested sites as follows;
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com 
www.thenewbev.com  (DITA & RENFIELD's Favorite Haunt in L.A,CA.)
www.electricduskdrivein.com 
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com
www.elvira.com
www.facebook.com/TheRealElvira 
www.somethingweird.com
www.radiohalloween.com
www.cinespia.org  (For a list of the Summer-Movies shown in the Graveyard called; 'HOLLYWOOD FOREVER CEMETERY'.)
www.cinefamily.org
www.kearth101.com
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves  (Listen to DUG GRAVES HORROR RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night, Dear!)

Hello to my 'b.f.f.,' 'RENFIELD'! 'Call me hon, we'll 'DO LUNCH'!!!

You can also stream this film on Amazon Prime right here!


'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA'
Directed By; Jun Fukuda
TOHO Studios
Sony Pictures
Starring; Masaaki Daimon, Kuzuya Aoyama, Akihiko, etc.
1974 DVD Run Time; 85 Minutes

Well Kids,
This week, DITA brings you the 'GREEN MONSTER FROM HELL' in 'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA' on DVD. The 'Tag-Line' reads; 'Mechanical Titan Of Terror!' DITA has long been a Fan of the old, original Godzilla Films!  The Year 2019 Marks GODZILLA's 65th Year Anniversary of tearing Up Tokyo.  My how time flies when he's having fun. In fact to see the 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY GODZILLA' piece on 'you-tube' just click here; https://youtu.be/8xW2xKDJoL4

Any-who DITA just loves a good 'Godzilla' Film and this one I consider big, 'Stomp-House Fun'!!!! You see when DITA was just a little ghoul, I used to stay up late watching these fun films while having sleep-overs with my Cousin's 'Chuck & Judy Dirt Nap'. DITA still remembers her Cousin Chuck getting excited during the 'battle-scenes' and yelling 'GET THAT 'JOKER'! No-foolin'!!! Also DITA highly recommends take a look at the culty-cool, 'English' 'vintage-TRAILER' of 'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA' by clicking here; https://youtu.be/A4Fh9-9BbVs (Love it, love, love it!!!)

So start that 'Count-Down Clock' at the  'HORROR/CULT DRIVE-IN', grab your Drive-In Speaker, hook it on your car window, lay your seat back, grab your 'POPCORN', relax and enjoy the show, as DITA brings you 'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA'!

Our film opens with a woman dressed in Japanese custom garb, near the beach with an old man with a 'fu-man-chu' type beard. The woman is performing but suddenly gets a vision of a giant monster invading Japan and faints. Hmmm? To make a long Story shorter, we cut to Godzilla suddenly attacking his old friend ANGIRASU (Best described as a cross between a giant turtle and a weird porcupine.) which alerts the towns-people that something in rotten in Denmark, uh, um, I mean Japan! He then starts smashing houses, but why, we don't know?  Then later we see what appears to be Godzilla fighting Godzilla! HUH???
Then as the battle continues one of them sheds their scaly skin to reveal a metal  Godzilla-looking, SPACE-Robot. And the smack-down begins.

F.Y.I., Kids;  DITA will also be Hosting in the future the Godzilla Films; 'GODZILLA VS. MEGALON' &the oh-so-campy, 'SON OF GODZILLA', hopefully with my old, campy, side-kick, 'CAMPIRA!' Also if your as big a fan as I am of all these Films, Please check out the very cool, thorough & complete Book entitled, 'GODZILLA ON MY MIND; 50 Years Of The King Of All Monsters. By; WILLIAM TSUTSUI that DITA just loves by clicking on the 'Book-Icon' next to my Review. A 'MUST-HAVE' for Godzilla-Fans, like myself!!!

Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer' Interrupts; Uh, back to the Storyline, 'Mizz Extra Long-winded'!
DITA responds, 'well I never, uh except last Saturday night, I think?'

Yes, the Storyline. There's an ancient Artifact that all the bad, space guys are after thru-out most of the movie. But why?  I'll tell you why, cuz it can resurrect the ancient Guardian-Monster called 'KING SEEZER' to protect the good people of Japan. Let's face it they've caused enough trouble already. They don't want to get their Robot's Ass kicked by it, uh, or their own. The evil Space Men don't have any fashion sense either. As they all wear silver lame'-ish looking space suits.  DITA wouldn't be caught 'dead' in one of those get-ups! Oh right, I'm already dead!

Anyway, this movie is fun from beginning to end, with lots of fight scenes, bad dubbing in English which I love, and very cool fight scenes, with one being 2 against 1 when 'King-Seezer' (best described as a big dragon-dog thing with scary looking deep-set eyes.) teams up with Godzilla against Mechagodzilla and end up destroying him by tearing off ..........................??? 'What?'

You know DITA tries not tell the whole story, so here is my 'THINGS-2-LOOK-4-LIST' as follows;
*Scene where the woman from the 'Opening Scene' stops and suddenly walks down to the beach, kneels and starts singing to the ancient protector Monster to awake him in the mountain before Mechagodzilla can unfairly attack him.
* Any & all 'battle-scenes between all 3 Monsters, specifically the way Godzilla shrugs his shoulders, and moves like a prize-fighter doing the old 'bob & weave' technique. (Too funny, but at the same time cool!)
* Any scenes with Mechagodzilla blasting off with fire jettisoning out of his robot feet. (which looks like landing gear as well as a full-bodied space ship.) Love that!!!
* Scene where Space-Men fight the good guys and turn into monkeys when injured or killed, oh and leak black blood.
* Scene where Professor & daughter and another good guy are tortured together in a locked chamber with hot as hell heating-ducks that almost kill them. (Yikes!!!)
*Scene at the end where GODZILLA opens up a final can of 'whoop-ass' on MECHAGODZILLA! (Much like POPEYE after he eats a can of 'spinach'!!!)
*Cheezy-fun rubber Monster suit, that DITA prefers over the 'C.G.I. fecal-matter' of today's films! (Just my 2 cents, my little 'Coffin-Creepers!')

Now for the 'EXTRAS' on this 'feeds-my-inner-child' disc; (Stole that 'bit' from;' LADY-J.' who went back to CALI.........CALI' , CALI', CALI', unfortunately without L.L. COOL J. as a Traveling Companion cuz.......her heels tall, bikini small, she said she liked the ocean. Ripa, ripa, rap!!!)L.L. COOL J., DITA's 'NOT!' LOL!

'EXTRA's are as follows;
+ Subtitles in; ENGLISH & FRENCH.
+ Languages; ENGLISH & JAPANESE.
(DITA prefers you turn on the 'English-Language' for this 'Sci-Fi Monster Flick', as the bad 'English Dubbing' adds to your movie watching experience in a culty, kind of way.)
+ Entire Line Of; GODZILLA Trailers! (DITA like-y!!!)
+ Entire Line of; GODZILLA Cartoon Show TV Spot Trailers! (Ya gotta love that, hon!!!)

DITA loved the fun-ness of this film and the drive it took me on, back down the 'memory-lane' of my child-hood and gives this film 3 Skulls Out of a 3 Skulls Score!!!  Although, I will say there's never enough fight scenes any Godzilla Flick to satisfy this 'glamour-ghoul!!!' A minor personal point, mind you. So get to clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' next to dear old' DITA's Review to get your very own ,green, scale-y Copy tonight!

Now as the Star-Spangled Banner plays on the screen and those lights slowly come up at the 'Horror/Cult Drive-In'.........'Please' remember to place your speakers back on the stand next to your car, back out s-l-o-w-l-y.........................................and for Pete's sake 'Girl', put your sweater 'BACK' on!!! Geeeesh! Where'd you go to school, 'SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR SLUTS???'  Oh, right, that wuz me! 'Tee-hee!"

 

 

Until next week,
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA ('INTERGALACTIC') DIRT NAP
(Now the storyline in this popular 1974 hit-Film ;'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA' wuz so popular w/the band 'THE BEASTIE BOYS' that they made a way-cool 'Music-Video' tribute to it with a few
changes called 'INTERGALACTIC' that DITA loves!  Why, you may ask? Cuz I'm a Fan of theirs, silly!!! DITA also finds it fitting that since their Band-Mate and Creator; ADAM YAUCH passed away!
R.I.P. ADAM and Thank you for all your brilliant Musical-Offerings!!!  Watch that Godzilla-Inspired Video by clicking here, my 'little, infected 'Spider-Bites'; https://youtu.be/qORYO0atB6g )

Contact me @ ddn1965@live.com

P.S. Anyone got a 'TIC-TAC'???
Also DITA wants to remind you that the Culty-Cool, Movie-Poster for; 'GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA';11x 17, is Now Available on Amazon.com by Clicking on the 'Poster-Icon' to the Left of Dear Old Decrepit DITA's Review!

 

 

 

 

Last but not least ,DITA & Vamp-Hubby; "B.J.", recently saw the New 'GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS'-2019 Flick and love it! He fights other well-known Monsters like Rodan, Mothra, Gidorah; The 3-Headed Hydra, etc. Was great seeing it in 3-D as well, Hon! Click here to see that Trailer for; 'GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS"-2019> https://youtu.be/6prr2MIHE0Q

Hello to; my 'b.f.f. in Horror; 'RENFIELD' & DITA's dear friend; 'Gothic-TONY'; The Silverlake Artist that DITA is so fond of.  As DITA finds 'Gothic-Tony' Culty-Cool and loves his work as a D.J. too, Hon!
DITA maybe Reviewing a Culty Horror Flick TONY was in later this year and more, my little 'sunscreened 'spider-bites!'

DITA's 'GODZILLA' Site recommendations tonight are;

www.wikipedia.org/wiki/godzilla_vs._mechagodzilla
To see 'GODZILLA 65 YEAR'S TRIBUTE'- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfYxf-EubEs
As Always check out;
www.legendfilms.com
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com
www.elvira.com
www.fangoria.com
www.shoutfactory.com  (Great DVD Selections, Babe!!!)
www.somethingweird.com  (Great Cult-DVD Selections, says DITA!)
www.cinespia.org  (Outdoor Movie-Screenings List at 'Hollywood Forever Cemetery' Now Available for the Newly started Season, Dear!)
www.thenewbev.com  (DITA & RENFIELD's Favorite Hang-Out in Hollyweird , owned by Quentin Tarantino.)
www.cinefamily.org  (The Infamous Silent Movie Theater's Recent Screening Listings of Silent Films, Talkies, Horror & Cult Films too, Kids!)
www.beastieboys.com 
www.godzilla.com
www.electricduskdrivein.com  (Located in Downtown, L.A., CA.) Outdoor Movies Los Angeles Pet friendly
www.electricduskdrivein.com 
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com  Vineland Drive In Theater
www.radiohalloween.com
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves  (DITA recommends listening to his Horror-Radio Show Every Friday night, Hon!)
 


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Creature Feature D. Dyszel 2019
and by
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor