DITA's 'Facebook' Page
Directors; Brendan Cowles & Shane Kuhn
Produced By; Carl Levin, etc.
'LIONS GATE Films'
Starring; LEIGHTON MEESTER (TV's; 'The Gossip Girls') & MORGAN SPURLOCK ('Super Size Me', etc.), etc.
Now DITA wuz going to Review the Film; THANKS-KILLING',
but after watching it , have decided not to recommend that Flaming piece of
Turkey-Kaa-Caa, to anyone but take a look at the Trailer to see what I mean,
So DITA, decided to still go 'Food-Related', for the THANKSGIVING-Holiday, and go with the 'Other-White-Meat'; PORK! As in the 'McRib! (Cuz it's Back, again!) As in the Food-related Fright-flick; 'DRIVE-THRU!' Just in time for the November-'RETURN' of the Fast-Food Sand-witch w/the bizarre 'CULT-Following'......................................................................the 'McRIB!'
Yes Dear, I Said 'Cult'-Following! Hmmmmmm? Don't believe
me........then take a look at this, hon, simply by Clicking here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j1UtslEWy8Uh , and here for a weird 'Mc Rib'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyi4x0wwmsk and Click here to see if your
'Addick-ted-2-The McRib' like DITA;
Also the 'McRIB' wuz of course once a 'Guest-Star' on the Hit Cult-TV Show; 'THE SIMPSONS' with 'HOMER' as it's 'Co-Star', of course. Too see that as well, Click here; ( Only found in Espanol, kids.); https://youtu.be/dONWOKCW-Es
Last butt not least the New Commercial for the 'McRib' 2020, Click here mi amigos; https://youtu.be/83ypwA5YwWE Just kidding, my little rotted Turkey-legs! Now if only McDonalds could come up with a McTurkey Burger! I know, right? (DITA would like you to know the the McRib Is Back at Select McDonalds now across the U.S. but Officially is Back on Dec.2, 2020, Hon!)
So it is with much fun that DITA ('I'm Lovin' It') DIRT NAP brings you the 'guilty-pleasure 'Horror-Flick to coincide w/this Tasty, B-B-Q covered, called; 'DRIVE THRU!!!' To see the Horrifically-fun, tasty Trailer w/pickles and onions that also won the '2008 Trashiest TRAILER Award @ the 'Golden Trailer Awards' simply Click here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4iIC10-UjM
'DITA's lovin' it!'
This fun/guilty-pleasure fright Flick starts out with some
annoying teens w/'Identity-Crisis' going to a Fast-Food 'drive-thru' restaurant
called; 'HELLA-BURGER' to order some 'pork' sandwitches. They keep hearing
nasty-lewd responses back from the Clown Drive-Thru Speaker. One of the
hoodlums, um, I mean Teenagers, gets mad and breaks into the fast-food joint
with a baseball-'bat' in hand ready to clobber the said Foul-mouthed Employee.
Instead he meets a Killer-Clown with an AXE to grind...........uh, right in his
head! 'F.Y.I.' children, his name is; 'HORNY; THE CLOWN!' One of the Tag-Line's
Reads; 'FAST FOOD KILLS!” Hmmmmmm? Reminds DITA of an old Episode of 'BUFFY, THE
VAMPIRE SLAYER' (Now on various Streaming-Services.) No foolin'!) The Season
where BUFFY wuz forced to take a job in a 'Killer Fast-Food Joint'. Too see
'BUFFY' working the Drive-Thru.....Click here; ( F.Y.I.- It's the 3rdCLIP, for
'Buffy' working in Fast-Food....);
One of DITA-Favorite Episodes by-the-way, Dear!
Any-who, this Movie includes various 'nods' to other Horror-Films such as; 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME', 'CARRIE', 'CHILD'S PLAY', 'IT', and more. After the first Killing, witch wuz 'French-fried' Hood-lum Face', the Lead Character named; Macenzie decides to get out the old 'OUIJA'-Board with her friends to try and contact someone or.........something. Well, guess who it pulls up, my little 'Spider-Bites?' U guessed it, the 'Killer-Clown' from 'HELLA-BURGER!'
Once they get tired of the Ouija Board, it starts to spell out a Clue to Macenzie of which of her friends will be the Killer-Clown's next victim by spelling out a license plate of the car her set of friends are murdered in. The Next Clue is given in her 'Magic-8-Ball' of her 'BFF'. This friend gets it the worst. How you may ask? 'DEATH BY HEAD IN MICROWAVE ON HIGH' while poor Macenzie helplessly watches, then gets chased down by the Killer-Clown, giving out some good horror-movie screamin' in the process! Although she manages to get away to scream another day. She also loses her camera before this event, gets it back to only find out that the Murderous Clown has photographed his victims,/her friends just before the moment they die. What a sick bastard!
Reminds me of the quote on the back of this DVD Box that says; 'At HELLA-BURGER, it won't be the food that kills you...but you'll wish it had!' Hmmmm? 'KILLER-FOOD', now that hasn't been done yet in a film!
The crazy Drive-Thru Clown Speaker-head continues his carnage next by leaving a message on her 'etch-a-sketch' that cryptically reads; 'I LOVE BUSH'. Did DITA mention that Leighton sings in a band in this movie and gives 'it' up to her boyfriend , cuz with all the killings going on …..she doesn't want to die a virgin?
Any-hoo , while working at the School Carnival's FUN HOUSE, dressed as ELVIRA , no less, as an Acquaintance of hers Enters the ride wearing an 'I LOVE BUSH' T-Shirt, tight by the way. As you can guess, she & her boyfriend get hacked inside while on the ride( Insert Tobe Hooper's Movie; 'FUN HOUSE' reference here kids.) by u know who. Macenzie starts to see a pattern forming of the victims who are being whacked. The bumbling Detectives assigned to the case, don't even make that connection, babe. By the way,.
DITA loves the faux-commercials shown in this film for 'HELLA-BURGER' witch are very sexually suggestive! Watch for them, when viewing this fun, Culty Movie, my little 'Condiments of Terror'. Back to Macenzie's theory-connection...............Makenzie notices the Parents of the victims were all friends back in their 'School-Daze' ( An obscure SPIKE LEE Film reference for yoots.) ,especially her own Mother. Hmmmmm? She eventually confronts her own Mother and forces her to spill her guts about how they knew each other (the parents) back in the day.
Well it turns out that there wuz a nerdy, socially inept guy in school , they all knew, who's Dad owned a certain Burger-Joint and on his Birthday they all decide to pull a prank on him witch led to restaurant catching on fire and , and..............well as you well know by now, DITA never likes to tell the full story. DITA will say that a certain character in the film has a 18TH B-Day coming up soon and that pay back is a B-I-T-C-H!
Now for the last clue about how wuz going to get their come-uppance next, 'HORNY', uses a gumball prize with a little toy clown-head in it with a message inside just saying; SEE YOU AT 4;20.
Now this scene DITA just loves cuz it has Morgan Spurlock from; 'SUPERSIZE ME' in it as the Fast-Food Manager trying to serve a 'Goth-girl' just before her friends, a skater-boarders group called, what else......'4;20' ravaging/water-sporting the ball cage room while she orders from Morgan, just moments before 'Krusty, umm, I mean 'Horny'-The Clown makes his final kill. It's better to show you, than to tell you the details, So just Click here to see DITA's Favorite scene of comedy/murderous mayhem; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t7_KWqwjKg
Now DITA will stop right here so not to reveal too much, but will now give you the 'EXTRA'S' on this 2 Parts Horror, 2 Parts Comedy Flick as follows;
+English & Spanish Subtitles
+ English Closed Captions
+'After Dark Horror-Fest TRAILERS witch include; 'THE SHADOW WALKERS', 'CURSE OF THE ZODIAC', 'DIARY OF A CANNIBAL', 'BENEATH STILL WATERS', 'TV's; 'THE LOST ROOM' (From; 'SYFY'-Channel)
DITA loved this Cult-Horror guilty pleasure and gives it 3 Skulls Out Of 3. A Perfect Score.
Get yours 2-nite and dig the ultra-cool 'Gothy-Soundtrack' as well, by Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' of 'DRIVE THRU' next to Dear Old' DITA's Review now!
This movie has the right blend of Horror Movie nods, good storyline, pacing and humor to past the Mustard w/this 'Ghoul-Gal!' L-O-V-E IT!!!
DITA has also taken the liberty of Super-sizing my Review with
these hysterical 'You-Tube' Links that are all 'DRIVE THRU/FAST FOOD-Related'.
First we have a 'MAD TV' Clip w/the infamous Miss Swan trying to Order at a Drive-Thru; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNX-GfA4A7o
Then Comedian STEPHANIE HODGE's Comedy-Bit about ordering at 'McDONALD's like MARILYN MONROE; ( Her Marilyn At McDonalds Bit' starts at the 3;14 Mark,)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2qOwo-UIbs
Now DAVID LETTERMAN at the 'DRIVE-THRU'....very Funny-Stuff, hon; https://youtu.be/fEn8QdI8-24
Last butt not least the Classy-Dudes; 'BEAVIS AND BUTT HEAD' at a 'Drive-Thru'; https://youtu.be/zVXMMFpQV9w
Now for DITA's Mini-Review of a Kinda/Sorta THANKSGIVING-Themed Cult Flick from; SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO called; 'BLOOD FREAK'. Which by the way involves of Half Turkey-Half Man Monster killing drug-addicts to drink their Drug-Infested Blood. Take a Look at the Cult-tastic Trailer by Clicking here, Hon> https://youtu.be/46E7Q8Ns4GY
Make no mistake, this Turkey-Horror is so bad is good.......uh, and funny in a not meant to be way! Here's the Storyline in quick 'Turkey-carcass Nutshell'; Hot Muscular Biker Dude offers a groovy-chick with a Flat tire a ride home. He then winds up at a 'Drug-Party', with/'her sister'. Then on to her Father's 'Turkey-Farm!' Her Father happens to be a 'Mad-Scientist', of course. Ooooooh, the plot thickens, my Little 'Mashed-Blood Potae-toes & Stuffing's!' The Mad Doc' turns the Biker-dude w/the beautiful biceps into a half-man, half turkey Monster. Why you may ask? To kill off those pesky drug dealers and druggies, silly! Long story short, the 'Turkey-Monster' goes around killing druggies 'animal-slaughter house style' cuz he needs the drug-infested blood to.........to..........Oh, I forget why!
Who cares, it's funny, butt definitely not meant to be, which in turn makes it even more funny & more weird! Which is what you expect from one of DITA's Favorite Video Companies, 'SOMETHING WEIRD', 'Special Edition', with cool 'EXTRA's' included of course. DITA liked this Movie perfect for a 'Something Weird' Thanksgiving this coming week!
DITA gives it 2 1/2 SKULLS Out Of 3.
'F.Y.I.- DITA will Review this 'Guilty-pleasure Druggie Turkey-Monster' Fright Flick next Thanksgiving 2021, in full detail. Why cuz it's just that much fun!
As my little 'Gothic-Family' finish the gnawing, gobbling & puncturing their Thanksgiving Feast, may I suggest you Click on the 'DVD-Icon' of 'BLOOD FREAK' to get your own Cult-Horror Copy 2-Nite, located next to DITA's Review. (DITA LIKE-Y!!!)
DITA wood like 2 Thank you all for Celebrating my BLOODY-BIRTHDAY last week again here in 'DITA's DEN' this year and wishes you all a 'HAPPY HAUNTINGLY MEMORABLE THANKSGIVING' w/your own Family, hopefully you've been quarenteen-ing with next week!
As 'B.J.' & I clear our now messy Dinning-Room Table and try to get our 'beautiful-nightmare' Dog; 'CHILLING-CHINA' to stop snorting down her dessert like the 'Demon-Pig' w/Red Eyes from 'THE AMITYVILLE HORROR', Uh, The Original w/Margot Kidder, Hon!
I leave you with a Clip from DITA's Favorite Thanksgiving Holiday Special Now Streaming on APPLE TV and on your PBS station on Sunday Nov. 22 @ 7:30 PM local time; 'A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING', Click Here, Dear> https://youtu.be/WSDLdq3FDtk
P.S. Contact DITA DIRT NAP at;
Until Next Week,
I give you 'Surgical-Mask Kisses',
DITA ('THE THANKSGIVING SONG') DIRT NAP
(To see that Fun-Song, Sung by ADAM SANDLER; 'THE THANKSGIVING SONG', Simply Click here, Babe> http://youtu.be/KhasEcwXaug )
p.p.s My Producer/Creator; Darell wants you to know a Serious Show he did about the real Horrors of dealing w/Cancer w/the 'RONALD McDONALD HOUSE' Entitled; 'Darell Erazo Presents; 'Ronald McDonald House Of L.A., Aired on 'WEHO-TV'.
Please watch & Learn about the great, caring Services these House provide to Family's going thru this difficult disease with a loved one and learn about 'CAMP RONALD McDONALD' as well as how to become a Volunteer! Thank you ever so!!!' https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/community/giving-back-with-ronald-mcdonald-house.html
p.p.p.s. DITA would like to Wish everyone 'HAPPY THANKS-KILLING', Um, I mean a 'HAPPY HAUNTED THANKSGIVING!!!'
DITA always loves a good Turkey stuffed w/White-Castle Sliders w/extra onions, Dear! Stay Safe & Healthy this Thanksgiving Holiday, Hon!
BTW, DITA & Vamp-Hubby; 'B.J.' are Thankful for our New Prezzy & Vice Prezzy coming to D.C. in January of 2021 and More! Also a We Both Wish our Good Fiend; 'RENFIELD a Very Happy Haunted Thanksgiving this year! REN, we will be calling you on Video-Phone on Thanksgiving thru Face-Book since we have to 'social-distance' this Holiday Season! Thanksgiving 2021 we will have you over again to our place here in West Hollyweird again! XOXO, Ren!
As usual web-surf these sites approved by your 'Better Bone-Bitch Council';
www.mymoviemonsters.com (For SCARY MONSTER MAGAZINE! A Longtime DITA-Fave!)
www.radiohalloween.com (Year Round Halloween Music and More!)
www.shockcinemamagazine.com (DITA Like-y!)
www.shoutfactory.com (Elvira & Pee Herman Show on DVD and 'MSTK', Roger Corman DVD's and lots, lots more great stuff!!)
www.lempmansion.com (DITA's Hometown Real Haunted House & restaurant!!! They also provide 'GHOST-HUNTING' Expeditions too and a Lovely Thanksgiving Spread!!!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves Tune into DUG GRAVES HORROR RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night, Hon! DITA LIKE-Y!)
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME'
Columbia Pictures Presents;
A 'J. Lee Thompson' Film
Produced By; John Dunning & Andre' Link
Directed By' J. Lee Thompson
The Birthday Film Company Inc.
Starring; Melissa Sue Anderson
Glen Ford, Lawrence Dane Sharon Acker,
Francis Hyland, Tracy Bregman & Lisa Langlois.
'Your invited to the bloodiest party of the year', .............uh, mine!!! Welcome to DITA DIRT NAP's, 'HORROR/CULT BIRTHDAY BASH', here in 'The Creature Feature Horror Den'!!!' Yes another year older (55), and yet another year none the wiser! LOL! Thanks for attending dear old' DITA's Birthday Party here at CountGore.com, I'm sure it'll be a 'SCREAM'! LOOK, we even have cake & soft drinks! 'B.J.' knew I was coming......so he baked me a cake! A chocolate, 'devil's food', 'spider-bite' Cake, even!' Oh, you shouldn't have. DITA's glad he did though! Thank you Sweetie!
Now to coincide with my special Birthday Celebration, DITA has
chosen 2 Birthday-Horror Flicks tonight! 2 old,cheesy,80's Fright-Flick (Just
like I like-em'!) to mark the occasion entitled, what else...............'HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO ME! Then my Culty-Fave; 'BLOODY BIRTHDAY!' Click here for the
Culty-cool Trailer of; 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME', Hon>
This film stars, MELISSA SUE ANDERSON of 'LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE' Fame (now airing on 'THE HALLMARK-CHANNEL') and Glenn Ford. Also Soap Opera Star (at the time; 'The Young & The Restless') Tracy Bregman! DITA is assuming the year this movie was being made the Actress, Melissa Sue Anderson had probably taken this role in a campy Horror Flick to try and move away from her 'goody-goody prairie gal' image cultivated on television, playing Mary Ingalls. I think you achieved your goal, hon!
Any-who, the storyline is cheesy-good and starts out with her
character, Virginia surviving a freak car-accident, that kills her mother and
leaves her with memory loss and traumatic black-outs. 'BLACK-OUTS!'
Wasn't that the name of a Britney Spears CD? Hmmmmmmm??? Sounds like Britney's 'come back' remake/vehicle has arrived in Horror Movie form. I'm just sayin'!!! Is this not the 'ONLY' Horror-Film, that hasn't been remade yet? DITA lives in Hollyweird, kids.......and I can tell you 'Original-Ideas' are not, shall we say............abundant! Just my 2 cents cuz that's about what it's worth, my 'little demented party-hats'!!!
This is a fun little 80's Horror Film that albeit some-what slow paced, reminded DITA of what early slasher-flicks were like. It also made me long for those days again. To explain the rest of the storyline in a 'cake & ice cream 'nutshell, if you will. She struggles to resume a some-what normal life, suddenly her group of school friends, who like to 'hang' & 'chill' a lot are being murdered 'one by one.' Which includes a standard horror movie 'throat-slash' and DITA's favorite, 'death by shish-ka-bob' shoved to the back of the throat!' Can you say, ooooooouch!!! Will 'Mary Ingalls', uh, I mean, Virgin-ia, be next.............or is she the killer??? By the way, is DITA the only one to notice that the first chunk of her characters name spells 'VIRGIN'??? Hmmmmmm???
This 'BIRTHDAY-HORROR Flick has most everything DITA loves, which includes cheesy 80's Music, a mandatory horror film shower scene, a peeping Tom, cool death scenes, flash-backs, (a plus and crucial to the plots, notice I said plots, with an S.), a nice even cup of bad-acting, graveyard scene and a teenage-girl with 'Daddy-Issues' and lastly a bad case of 'post traumatic stress'!!! Love it!!! Another thing that un-wraps (like a Birthday gift, hint, hint, 'B.J.'!) nicely in this film is towards the cool, fun, culty 'reveal scene' near the end. Which of course includes different reveals leading you to believe one thing, and just as you do, the reveal the reveal!
DITA will not reveal the surprise 'twists' that come well-paced at the end of the movie, cuz I highly recommend clicking on the 'DVD Icon' next to my special 'Birthday-Review' to find out for yourself, and because you know DITA hardly ever likes to tell the whole Story, especially in this case! Kudos, to the Director for this impressive 'twist-reveal, twist, reveal' leaves you 'scratching-your-head' finale, that reveals e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!!!
Now on a slightly sad note......... there are no 'cool extras'
on this no frills disc but there definitely should have been! With a cool
retro-80's Horror Film like this, it would have been nice!
Perhaps on a future 2025 Anniversary Edition???
+Only Subtitles in English, Spanish & Japanese.
+ And some old 90's Horror Film Trailers maybe some from the Millennium.
Now as usual here are DITA's; 'Things To Look For' List;
* Watch for cool first foggy, graveyard scene, Set-dressed effectively. (I just love graveyards, which is to be expected considering I live in one, part of the year, summers in our Beach front Place in 'Mali-boo' ,dah-lings.)
*Shower-scene, complete with car-accident 'flash-backs'.
*Flash back scenes in general, which are liked by DITA in this movie and also help to fill plot-lines but more importantly include great campy over-dramatic acting by Virgin-ia's Mother to let you know that her mother was carrying the 'crazy' gene! (Loved it, love it, love it!)
* Scene they put in at the time to let you know that 'Mary Ingalls' was all-grown up now, as follows; shower scene, taking blouse off in her bedroom to reveal her.......bra! You wouldn't have seen that in 'Walnut Grove'!!!
*Last but not least her character supposedly stabbing a friend in the grave yard and allegedly wacking, slicing and bludgeoning everyone to death. Oh, and uh, making out with another friends boyfriend by the cozy fire place!!! They should have called the High School she went to 'SATAN SCHOOLS FOR SLUTS'! Didn't Count Gore Host that one recently? Hmmmm.
Derek; 'The Vamperic Announcer' Interrupts, briefly; Isn't that
where you went ,'Birthday-Girl'???
DITA responds; 'NO COMMENT!'
* All scenes where she blacks out, you see hain-ous murders
committed on her friends and such, she wakes up and can't remember anything, how
* Flash back scene where it is revealed that she and her mother died by trying to cross an electronic bridge that was opening as their car got stuck in the middle causing them to fall to the water below. Virginia escaped by swimming out the broken car window, like her mother told her to because her mother was pinned in around the column.
* Funny cheesy, dorky, dance moves at the school dance. (DITA has 2 words....no rhythm!!!)
* Last 'grue-some 'birthday party scene at the end where there ends up being only one actual live friend attending, not to mention her 'shrink'. I said not to mention him, silly!
Someone has propped up all of her recently murdered friends,
along with her mother's dug-up corpse, insert clue word here; 'mistress', and
comes in with a lit birthday cake for her morbid 18th B-Day Party! You
know to 'serve' to her dead guests! DITA thinks Martha Stewart would consider
it, only polite! Even daddy made good on his, 'PROMISES, PROMISES'
(Mansfield Cult-Comedy ref.) to be there for his little girl's 'special day'???
*Last scene where 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME' is sang very creepily.........for the first time by the guest of honor? Last hint kids; 'PLAY IT AGAIN SAM!' Hmmmmm??? Wow! That's a lot of 'plot-twist'!!! Nice job!!!
DITA gives this some-what forgotten holiday/birthday,
fright-flick 2 and 1/2 Skulls ,almost a 3 Skulls score. A point was taken
off for pacing but REGARDLESS,
DITA highly recommends for your next 'B-Day Party', or should I say 'D-Day Party', hopefully on a dark & stormy night, with lots of blood-red balloons and a........'KNIFE'!!! Ah, to cut the cake with! What else, SILLY!!!
DITA wants to thank all for coming to my 'HORROR/CULT BIRTHDAY-BASH',
only here in 'DITA's- DEN' on 'Creature Feature'!!! 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY
BIRTHDAY Dear DITA............
I look like a corpse..........and I smell like one too!!! 'TEE-HEE!'
DITA's only 'Birthday-Wish' is that you check out my favorite
'Birthday-Themed', Animated Short, Starring; DITA's FAVORITE 'CULT-TOON'
Character, Ms. BETTY BOOP, in 'BETTY BOOP'S BIRTHDAY PARTY', now playing Here>
Please, as DITA may have another 'Birthday-Surprise' for my FANS!
By the way, a big 'howdy' to my Special 'Dan-Fan' & as always my 'b.f.f.-in horror' 'RENFIELD' here in L.A., CA.
A Special 'Surgical-Mask'- Kisses' w/Birthday-Cake Frosting,
DITA ('HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. PRESIDENT' Remixed-Trippy House Music-Style') DIRT NAP
(Click here to hear that REMIXED House-Music style from; Marilyn Monroe, from; MARILYN-REMIXED CD> https://youtu.be/lrvMx2HGaOY )
P.S. DITA DIRT NAP's 55th BIRTHDAY is Monday, Nov. 18th,2020, Hon!
P.P.S. Click here to see the Infamous Death-Scenes from; 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME' > https://youtu.be/873ok2yNYQk
Dita's Favorite Links(This week!);
www.somethingweird.com (Hexcallent Choice of Cult-Flicks, Hon!)
www.shoutfactory.com (Great DVD Selection says; DITA!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Showing; FRIDAY THE 13TH' Flicks this Weekend, Hon!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune In Every Friday Night to DUG GRAVES RADIO HORROR SHOW! DITA LIKE-Y!)
This film is also streaming on Amazon Prime!
Directed By; Ed Hunt
Produced By: Gerald T Olson
Starring: Lori Lethin, Melinda Cordell, JULIE BROWN, Joe Penny, Bert Kramer, K.C Martel,
Also Starring as the evil children, Elizabeth Hoy, Billy Jacoby, Andy Freeman
Cameo By: Jose Ferrer With Susan Strasberg
1981 DVD 1981
“I Bring you Another 'Birthday-Girl' horror-review again tonight
for my birthday, here in 'DITA's DEN'. Let's start with a look at the Grindhouse
Horror-Flick; 'BLOODY BIRTHDAY!' DITA loves this little horror 'Birthday-gem' of
a movie. Too see why: click here for the trailer:
https://youtu.be/uRUO1-IHx-8Don’t cha just love it? DITA highly recommends this culty fun
film! The story line starts out with three children, born the same day during a
total eclipse not of the heart mine you LOL! Make no mistakes, these children
are pure evil. In a nut shell the movie revolves around there upcoming 'Joint
Birthday- Party' in there neighbor-HOOD! 'BLOODY BIRTHDAY' reads like a
Video-Mash up of movies like:.
Beginning scenes of 'HALLOWEEN', 'CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED', 'THE BAD SEED', 'THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN', 'THE CHILDREN', With a little of ,'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME' thrown in for good measure.
Now for the fun scenes in this fright-flick. DITA’S THINGS-2-LOOK-4:
*Opening scene with horny couple making out in open grave in the cemetery. Brutally murder and then covered with dirt. Man is killed by shovel to the head. Woman killed by quick noose to the neck (Can you Guess witch evil three-sum?)
*Scene with evil girl charging money to her evil buddies to look thru a peek hole in her closet at her older sister (JULIE BROWN) doing a strip-tease which includes 'necked-hooters!'
*Scene with one of the evil three looking thru a van window at a naked couple having sex. Then the boy opens the van door and shoots the guy dead. Oh, and the screaming girl too!
*The evil kids locking a boy in a discarded fridge in junk yard.
*Scene with birthday party for evil three. Evil boy with glasses trying to decorate cake with ant poison!
*Part with evil girl and friends killing police officer dad with baseball bat after first attempt with a 'strategically-placed' skateboard fails.
*Part with evil three shooting bitchy teacher in head!
*End scene with dramatic climax fight/chase finale that lives room for a sequel! Oooooh, DITA hopes so!!!)
'DITA' hasn't told all the horrorific scenes in this campy film, so as not to ruin the movie but I will now reveal the EXTRAS Witch are as follows:
+ED HUNT Bio. (DITA SAYS CHECK IT OUT!!!)
+Max Rosenberg interview (DITA like-y!!!)
+Trailers from 'VCI' Witch include:
“KISS OF THE TARANTULA”
“DON’T OPEN THE DOOR”
“HOMEWORK”-Starring; DITA-Fave; JOAN COLLINS. ( www.joancollins.net )
DITA loves this movie to no end cuz it also has all factors in a 80’s Camp-Horror-Holiday Film that I just love. Like hokey music that sounds like it wuz recycled from old episodes of TV’s ‘LASSIE’, high camp factor out the waz-zoo, bad acting, cheesy reused plots, and lots of ‘T. & A.’ witch I always want and need, hon! All this and 80’s M-TV Fave; JULIE BROWN! L-O-V-E HER!!!
DITA also has been a Fan of her work like; M-TV’s ‘JUST SAY
JULIE!’, ‘EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY’, her very funny Spoof-Movie of MADONNA’s
called ‘MEDUSA; ‘DARE TO BE TRUTHFUL’ ( To see a Clip from that film just click
here; https://youtu.be/d-wI6QEoctU ), and her various Music Video Spoofs,
'LADY DIRT NAP' highly suggests this birthday-bash , uh, literally, on DVD and gives it my Coveted 3 Skulls Out Of 3 Skulls Score! Excellent! ‘HAPPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME……INDEED!!!
Now that candles are all blown out on my 55th Year B-Day Cake, let's put it in
the fridge to save for Dessert next to the Pumpkin-pie and 'B.J'.'s homemade
'sweet blood potay-toe pie'. Made w/fresh blood and toes, Dear for Next Weeks
Holiday in November.
Next week, more Horror-Fun here in ‘DITA’s DEN’.
Until next time,
DITA ( ‘TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A WHITE GIRL’) DIRT NAP
( To see that cool JULIE BROWN 80’s Music Video; 'Trapped In The Body Of A White Girl', just click here babe; https://youtu.be/Oab8ectMrcc )
I now approach my 55th Birthday this year on 11/18/20, so again here is my favorite ‘Cult-Toon’ Starring in; ‘BETTY BOOPS BIRTHDAY PARTY’, uh, simply click here babe; https://youtu.be/nj5urVMsV8E
‘Birthday Wishes’ appreciated at;
Thanks again for celebrating my Birthday once again on CountGore.com, uh, ever-so! And as always these fun sites;
www.imdb.com (Type in Julie Brown to see her funny Body of work.)
www.somethingweird.com (Great Cult-Movies. DITA Recommends!)
www.shoutfactory.com (DITA also Like-y!)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com (Year Round in L.A., CA.)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Playing FRIDAY THE 13TH-Flicks this Weekend! 11/13,11/14 and 11/15/2020.)
www.radiohalloween.com Halloween Radio | Halloween Music & Stories - Radio Halloween plays best Halloween music and stories all day, all night, & all year!
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune In to DUG GRAVES RADIO-HORROR SHOW Every Friday Night! Hexallant says DITA!)
This film is also streaming on Amazon Prime!
'THE LAST DRIVE -IN' Presents; 'JOE BOB'S HALLOWEEN
Hosted By JOE BOB BRIGGS & His 'Side-Kick'; ' Darcy The Mail Girl, etc..
Joe Bob Hosts the Film; 'HACK-O-LANTERN'
Starring; Hye Pyke, Gregory Scott Cummings, Katrina Garner, Carla B.,
Jeanna Fine, Marya Grant,etc.
Music By; 'DC LACROIX'.
Extended 'Halloween-Greetings' my Little Blood-Bags! We now all know Halloween this year was H0-HUM for most of us, but DITA as promised has stretched it too into this week for you with Episode 2 of ;'THE LAST DRIVE-IN's' 'HALLOWEEN HIDEAWAY' from the Legendary JOE BOB BRIGGS.
This Episode Joe Hosted one of Worst Halloween-Themed Flicks DITA has ever seen so far called; 'HACK-O-LANTERN', witch was Originally titled; 'Halloween Night'. Now let , I DITA DIRT NAP, your Horror/Cult Hostess with mostest in all the right Rotted Places, say that this movie was not only bad but discomBOBulated, confusing, dumb in general! Now as you all know DITA does love a low-budget film with bad-acting, witch in my humble opinion is the one saving grace on this Halloween-Turkey. Lets see , DITA can also say that last weeks film was better from Joe Bob and that this Episode DITA enjoyed Joe Bobs Hosting better than the Film itself. To see what I mean ,Click Here to see the Trailer for; 'HACK-O-LANTERN'> https://youtu.be/Jd6jibUSUTM
First Off , DITA enjoyed the storyline in Joe Bobs Hosting of this Episode 2 w/his crew giving him a list of demands and later, over half of his crew abandoning him, also Darcy the Mail Girl is more annoyed about Joe Bob not showing/Hosting ;'Halloween3;Season Of The Witch' instead , with Darcy changing into a devil girl outfit and mask near the end of the show. Also Joe Bob sings, give loads of info as usual about the film, the director and most of the cast who some were Adult Film Actors as Joe Bob reveals even the reason why. Joe Bob explains that they did so because with full nudity in the film, uh, including full bush/vadge in it that it would pull in more money when it played in the Japanese markets at that time witch was 1988,Hon! A surprise even happens at the very end of 'Joe Bobs Halloween Hideaway' that DITA will possibly reveal later.
DITA will say I always enjoy Joe Bob's Hosting skills, right down to the last Dad-Joke he tells near the very end of the show!
In fact DITA gives Joe Bob's Hosting Skills of this Full Halloween Special a Perfect 3 Skulls Score out of 3! Before I forget as DITA did last week. Any-Boo, this film starts with the assigned Rock Group; 'DC LACROIX' music video sequence early in the film where a girl is dressed as a Rock-Groupie Video Girl that shoots very 80's laser beams out of her eyes and eventually slinks her way thru said video to the lead singer suddenly cuts his head off with a pitch fork! Very cheezy scene from beginning to end, Hon!
The rest of the film as I mentioned earlier is confusing and bad right down to the martini-shot the has a police character who plays a goody-goody thru out the fright flick from a Director from India turns out for no apparent reason to suddenly be a Satan, uh, to be a Satan w. Whoops, DITA never reveals the whole story.
Let DITA start the storyline of this bad film again. Ok, lets see this particular family has a devil-worshipping grand father who btw in my opinion comes off very gay and very over dramatic right down to his growly-voice and bad over dramatized acting. So Devil-worshipping Grandpa tries to convert his muscle grandson; Daniel into a Satan worshipper too. Oh, did I mention he has a slutty sister and a weird long haired mother who can't get over that left-out fact that Gramps killed her hubby. Hmmmmm. There's a Halloween-Party of course taking place and Daniels sister introduces the good-goody townie hunk cop to her bestie , who is also slutty.
Well as DITA mentioned more than once already , this fright
flick is very confusing so I will just put the scenes to look for, as dear old
DITA has given up on trying to explain this hot-mess piece of trash-art.
So here is my classic ;'DITA's Things-To-Look-For List as Follows;
*Scene where Goody-Goody Hunk Cop takes his friends slutty B.F.F. on his motor cycle to the graveyard , on Halloween night before the party, where they almost shoot some townie 'trick-or-treaters' in said graveyard, tell them to go home and not eat all the candy they collected on the way. Then they of course have sex on a freshly-dug grave of the b.f.f.'s friends freshly-killed and buried boyfriend, without knowing it of course.
*scene where stripper strips at the afore-mentioned Halloween-party where afore-mentioned movie-soundtrack band; 'D.C. LACROIX' is playing, of course. stripper shows all while 'party-goers' stare at her with glazed eyes. DITA would describe their starring as if they were watching a DONNY & MARIE CONCERT' Huh? You have to watch the movie, Hon! LOL!
*scene later at the Halloween-party where another stripper dances w/snakes, uh, more than one and Honey, this Strippers face has lived a 'hard-life' by the looks of it, complete w/pointy nose, overly-aged face with taut, young-looking body that does 'not' match her 'seen-better-years' face. Yikes!
*any scene with Grandpa Devil-Worship chewing up the scenery, over dramatically, like his got lost and wandered into the soundstage of the old disco-flick; 'CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC" ,Starring ;'The Village People'.
*scene where random blonde girl is killed with a pitch fork by a lead Devil Worshipper. She earlier in the scene ,thought he was her horny boyfriend dressed up as the Scary-looking Devil con red robe, lets him in , strips naked cuz she thinks he's just her boyfriend wanting to have sex . Then closes her eyes and .......? STAB, STAB, Hon!
*scene where Daniels sisters also horny boyfriend is caught trying to copulate her nether-regions by her brother. brother Daniel gets mad and throws him outside w/his shirt , then follows him to and thru a nearby grave yard, where he falls into a open grave with a skull in it. Satan-worshipper brother Daniel, dressed as a devil in a robe ,complete w/horns then bashes sister's said horny-boyfiend thru the head with a shovel, then proceeds to bury him in the grave he's already in.
*confusing scene later in film where kooky mother goes on a
killing-spree at said Halloween-party, uh, for no apparent reason. She kills
while she is dressed up as a devil w/red robe again and big horns and fangs are
of a big-breasted party-goer in the ladies room, her daughters b.f.f. and tries
to kill her own daughter too. All while in costume witch hides her identity.
Weird-Mom w/crazy-long hair then runs to husbands grave bleeding cuz she is shot
at by hunk-cop before escaping Halloween-party. she lays on hubby's grave and
the her weird devil-worshipping muscular son Daniel holds her as she dies on
Weirdest scene in 'Hack-O-Lantern', other than you actually only see Weird-Long Haired mom placing a candle in Only1 actual 'jack-o-lantern, in a film called; 'Hack-O-Lantern'. That's 'not' the weirdest scene in this dumb-flick. The weirdest out-of-place scene takes place outside the Halloween-Party where randomly out of the blue a Comic starts awkwardly doing 'stand-up', without any warning. DITA says it just doesn't fit in w/the movie at all. Later JOE BOB does explain that the Comic was a guy he knew when he himself did stand-up back in the 80's, as did DITA but in the late 90's, Hon, and Joe Bob also explains that the Director from India was trying to fit things in the film like a variety-show cuz that's how they do in bollywood. Hmmmm?
Last a final scene where after Devil-Worshipping Daniel (his
weird over-dramatic Grandpa got him into devil-worshipping btw, Kids. ) letting
his sister go, telling her to run, cuz he was told to kill her see, for
interrupting their Halloween-night devil-worshipping sacrifice ritual. She runs
away and at the very last scene of this dumb-dorky but slightly culty horror
flick , you see them finally continuing the ritual , where a certain blonde pig
character pulls down his devil-cult hood to reveal they are actually the town's
.... the Town's uh, N-e-v-e-r mind! DITA never likes to reveal the whole movie.
So to find out who it is in the 'martini-shot', Simply Click on the 'DVD-Icon'
next to decrepit DITA's Review to get your own Copy if you dare, my little
Now as for the end scene of ;'Joe Bob's Halloween Hideaway', we find Joe Bob still on the cabin's porch-set feeling as though he let his pandemic Halloween show-viewers down by pissing off his crew, and by showing this culty-stinker. He tells Darcy the Mail-Girl, he is going to drink his depression away w/alcohol while taking a canoe back to the 'drive-in'. Darcy says okay, but winks a evil wink. Pan over to a drunk Joe Bob laying face down in the canoe floating unchaparoned down the river somewhere New Jersey I think. Then suddenly someone pops up out of the water and, and they........????? DITA smiles one last evil Halloween-grin and says; 'I'll N-e-v-e-r Tell!
Till Next Halloween, my little November 'Spider-Bites , DITA gives the Flick; 'Billy Bob' Hosted on 'THE LAST DRIVE-IN" on 'JOE BOBS HALLOWEEN HIDEAWAY' Now Streaming on Shudder & AMAZON-PRIME from Episode 2 of; 'HACK-O-LANTERN' ,Only a 1 SKULL Out Of A 3 SKULLS Score!
Till Next Week when DITA DIRT NAP Invites you All to Celebrate her 55th Birthday (which actually falls on NOV. 18th.) here in 'DITA's-DEN' on Saturday Nov. 14th with a 'Birthday-Horror Flick' or 2.
DITA ('THE WITCH") DIRT NAP
(To see that exact Music-Video from 80's Band; 'THE CULT' with the Song; 'THE WITCH', simply Click Here, Dear> https://youtu.be/TnyxEz4l70Q )
Contact DITA at; DDN165@LIVE.COM
Click here to see a "JOE BOB BRIGGS' Tribute Video as DITA is a Long-time Fan of JOE BOB's who still going strong> https://youtu.be/SGr9MMm56L8
As usual Check out these 'DITA-Suggested Sites as Follows;
www.electricduskdrivein.com (This weekend they are Showing'MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 1,4,5 and 6 w/Tom Cruise!)
www.spookyworld.com (Last weekend for Halloween-Lovers!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune into DUG GRAVES RADIO HORROR SHOW Every Friday Night! DITA LIKE-Y!)
© D. Dyszel 2020
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor