DITA's 'Facebook' Page
(I WANT YOU...DEAD!)
Directed By; William Lustig
Produced By; George G. Braunstein
Written By; LARRY COHEN ('IT'S ALIVE', etc.)
BLUE UNDERGROUND DVD's
Starring; Bo Hopkins, Timothy Bottoms, ISAAC HAYES (Shaft Theme, South Park's CHEF, etc.),
P.J. SOLES (John Carpenter's 'HALLOWEEN', etc.), Robert Forster ('JACKIE BROWN).
Run Time; 90 min. 1997 DVD
Greetings My 'Little Spider-Bites! Tis I, Your 'BETSY ROSS of Horror' Hostess, DITA DIRT NAP!!!
This 'Independence Day', DITA brings you a 'Star-Spangled Shocker' from the Creators of 'MANIAC COP', that's sure to be a 'BANG' called 'UNCLE SAM', I WANT YOU... DEAD! Now DITA wuz surprised to find this '4TH OF JULY-Themed Horror Flick at my local Video Store, thanks to 'Mr. M.'!' Check out the ultra 'American Scary' DVD Cover Box, complete w/'UNCLE SAM' Zombie and patriotic hat!!! Love it!!!
This fun little 'Fire-cracker' Fright-Flick is great for viewing after a long day at your personal 'social-distanced' 4th Of July' Picnic and your evening of watching televised Fireworks Display' on NBC or PBS, uh, and that yearly attack of those 'pesky-mosquitoes'! If you'll be dealing with them at the 'Drive-In', take a look by clicking here, for a helpful hint; www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6eqn-CaPyU
'Derek, 'The Vamperic-Announcer' Interrupts'; 'Are we getting 'B-B-Q' 'Buzzard-Burgers' at your 4th of July Drive-In outing tonight?
DITA Responds; 'Only if you fly after them and catch some with your fangs, Hon?'
Hmmm, that reminds me, to see the very cool 'Holiday-riffic'
Trailer for 'UNCLE SAM', just click here;
Just call me, the 'Trailer-Queen', kids!!!
Now here's the Storyline of this 'Fire-Cracker' Flick. A war
veteran in Kuwait, is shot down to his death by 'Friendly-Fire' (Google it.) and
then found 3 years later. His wife, mother and Nephew are finally told.
Said burn-up body is brought back to the family's house for viewing/services.
Now his young Nephew wants to emulate him. Why, you may ask? Cuz he looked
up to him, silly! Little does he know that his 'Uncle Sam' wuz an
Abuser/Murderous-Psychopath who enjoyed being overly patriotic and killing for
enjoyment! Long story short; the misguided Nephew unlocks his sealed
coffin.............and all 'hell' breaks loose! Mayhem and
'misguided-patriotic murders' ensue thru out the film by 'Uncle-Sam', the
Zombie!!! He even dresses up like 'UNCLE SAM' with a mask, to mingle & blend at
the town's '4th Of July Picnic' and 'Fire-Works' display!
The nerve of him, really!!!
To cover the rest, here are my infamous; DITA's 'Things-2-Look-4 List' as follows;
*Any Scenes with 'DITA-Faves', P.J. SOLES & the late, ISAAC HAYES!!!
* Scene with Zombie-fied 'Uncle-Sam' hand creeping out of the Coffin in the Family's Living Room...................late at night!!! Yikes!!!
* All Murder Scenes which include; 'DEATH BY'; Eyes being poked out and killed, Head chopped off while potato-sack racing, Being shoved backwards on steel fence post, Buried alive with severely broken leg for burning 'American Flag' on 'UNCLE Sam's Grave, Meat cleaver to the head to fake-Abe Lincoln '4th Of July' Parade Float, Fake George Washington's 'Cherry-chopping' tree Axe to the chest, Noose in the grave yard and then strung up the flag pole! Half-mast, perhaps??? Death by Fireworks Display, uh, and being one! (Ouch!!!) Etc., etc.
This Movie is pretty fair for a 'Independence-Day' Fright-Film and DITA loves the 'RED, WHITE and BLUE' Atmosphere and the 'TOM SAVANI'-ish Zombie Make-up! Kudos 4 that one, my 'little 'smoke-bombs'!!!
'DITA enjoyed this unique 'holiday-horror'-film and suggests
Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon next to dear old' DITA's Review to get your own
'explosive' Copy tonight but first and last, here are the cool 'EXTRA'S'
Included on this Disc;
+ Audio Commentary #1 w/Director WILLIAM LUSTIG, Writer LARRY COHEN & Producer; GEORGE G. BRAUNSTEIN.
+ Audio Commentary #2 with Director WILLIAM LUSTIG and Star; ISAAC HAYES (Done in 1998.) (DITA highly suggests this one!)
+ Fire Stunts with Audio Commentary by Stunt Coordinator; SPIRO RAZATOS. (Hot & 'DANGEROUS' By; late Michael Jackson.)
+Theatrical Trailer (DITA's Favorite thing on all DVD's!!!)
+Poster & Still Galleries. (Love the Poster Gallery!!!)
DITA gives 'UNCLE SAM' From 'BLUE UNDERGROUND '( www.blue-underground.com ) 2 1/2 SKULLS Out Of a 3 SKULLS Score!!!
As the 'Drive-In' now Shows the last Trailer playing the Patriotic 'STAR SPANGLED BANNER' (to see just that, click here;) www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttZVpRfc_Yo just before their 'Fireworks Display Grand-Finale' (To see 'Fireworks At The Drive-In' Clip, Click here, kids; https://youtu.be/I_3O_WEyKC0 )
Speaking of 'Drive-Ins; my Family and I, dog included will be social-distancing the Independence Day at our local Drive-In for safe holiday fun! Next Saturday DITA, will then start her 'Horror-Themed Beach Films' again, for the 'Good Ole' Summertime'!!! So grab your 'flip-flops' & a 'Beach Towel' and join me.
Till then, have a 'SAFE' & Horror-HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!
DITA ('Firework') DIRT NAP
(Click here to see that Katy Perry Video; 'Firework', Hon> https://youtu.be/ZQAvHaROu60 )
AS ALWAYS THESE SITES AS WELL FOR MORE 'GOOD-STUFF' DITA likes;
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune in to DUG GRAVES HORROR RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night, Kids!)
Love to my Vampire-Hubby, 'B.J.' as always! XOXO!
This Review Dead-icated to DITA'S 'Horror/Cult Buddies'; 'RENFIELD' & 'JIZ-WELL'!
'HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY' 2 Everyone!!!'
& Last 'OOOOOOOOOH' , 'AAAAAAAHHHH!!!'
You can also stream this film on Amazon Prime!
From; 'Terror Tales'; Volume-1
2 Blood Sucking Epics'
'Ninja Vampire Busters'
'GEAR FILM DISTRIBUTION (INT'L.) LT.'
Producer; Rover Tang
Executive Producer; Alan Tang
Assoc. Producer; Stanley Yen
Starring; Nick Chan, Simon Cheng, Stanley Fung.
With; Jacky Cheung ('Wicked City') and May Law, Vivian Leung, Manny Tse.
Screen Play; Barry Wong, King Wong, Jeff Yuen. Action Directors; Wai
Tung & Billy Kong.
Directors; Norman Law & Stanley Siu.
DVD Released In; 2005
My little WICKED-'Wedding Guests!' Tis I, Your 'Bridal-Themed; Horror Movie-Host; DITA DIRT NAP! Finishing up my Salute To 'Bridal-Themed Horror Flicks for all those 'June'-Brides to embark on a 'Haunted Honey-Moon's'! So tie those last tin cans to the Bumper for a; 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'!!!
Brought to you by; 'TERROR TALES'; Volume-1, as well as the other
'Blood-Sucking' Epic on this Double Feature Disc of 'Asian-Vampire/Horror
entitled; 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS', this time my Hubby's Video Selection. DITA
didn't nickname him 'Drive-In' ROB, for nothin!
Any-who, 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' starts out with a handsome Asian Couple/Newly-Weds checking into a nice Hotel-Chain in China, to start their Honeymoon. The Trailer is not available by the way, kids. Sorry, my Little 'Spider-Bites!'
The groom is a Cop by the way, kiddies. They check into their
'bridal suite' that hasn't been occupied for a long time for some strange
reason??? 'Hmmmmmmmm?' They then begin to smell something stinky. A dead body,
perhaps??? 'I'm just sayin'! ' Then they decide to go for a walk in the park.
How sweet! The new Bride decides to go and check something out, thus
leaving the new groom strolling by himself.
The new groom is then approached by an older Female Vampire-Master (aka Vampire Buster/Slayer) and her lovely assistant. They try and warn the 'Cop/Groom' to leave, to avoid the dangers of forth-coming
evil. Hmmm? He, being a man, doesn't listen, thinking their just crazy kooks, out for an evening stroll. Then I kid you not, as he's continuing his solo-stroll, a big scary, ugly ball thing, suddenly rolls on top of him. Knocking him down in the park-grass!
No foolin'! Please tell dear old DITA, that China has 'pooper-scooper' laws for parks, like the U.S.!!! Other-wise, 'Eeeeeeeew!!!
After the creepy, weird, giant-ball thingy finishes it 'drive-by/roll-by 'evil transference', he is transformed-into.....................'Vampire-Cop-Groom'!!! By the way DITA notes that every time something evil/supernatural happens in this 'honeymoon-horror' flick, the character is bathed in bright green light. Must be an 'Asian-Horror' Folk-lore thing??? DITA turned green once! Then I realized I had stumbled into a Republican Party Fund Raiser, then proceeded to the nearest toilet to lose my lunch!
Just a joke, my little' coffin-creepers!' Tee-hee, tee-hee! Back to 'V.H.'!
Then 'Vampire-Groom-Cop' starts chomping down on nearby park
patrons with a vengeance, and a pair of extra-long fangs! Cool scene!!! To make a
long story short. Here's the rest of this 'honeymoon-terror-tale'
in Mrs. Black-ula Jr. 'OUTLINE'-Form;
a.) 'Female-Ghost/Girl' dressed in a Slip, asks 'Groom-Cop-Vamp' if he will help her exact her 'REVENGE' on 'Evil-Hubby' who killed her ex-Hotel Owner Father, then strangled her right on top of said father in their Hotel, then burying her in the hotel room wall! Thus the stinky odor smelled earlier in the film.
b.) Bride & Groom decide they must help 'Female-Ghost-Gal' to
exact her 'much-needed' ghostly revenge. Why, you may ask??? 'So 'ghost-girl'
can cross over.
Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer asks; 'Cross over to where. Bride-Zilla, uh, I mean DITA?'
DITA; 'To the 'other-side', SILLY!' Geeeez! 'Do you EVER watch TV during lock-down?
Derek; Yes, I do & so do you and 'B.J.!' 'A-n-y BOO!
c.) They help 'Ghost-gal' along with Miss Vamp-Buster & her assistant to exact 'her 'revenge' because ghost-gal 'evil-ex-hubby' had her sign over the rights to the hotel chain before he killed her & her father, so he 'wood' become rich! 'Just call; 1-800-recycled-plots-r-us' 4 your storyline, TODAY!' Now back to our movie.
Female-Ghost-Girl' appears ( bathed in green) on
'evil-ex-hubby's' patio and ask him if he remembers her and if he still loves
her...........and why did he 'choke-her-out'?
Then she steps closer to him, all while he's shakin' in his boots and she....................................................??? As I usually say, 'DITA doesn't wanna tell the 'WHOLE' story, cuz..........there is more, my little
I'll just ask if the words, 'vampire-exorcism' (steel-bowls & chicken blood and custom-ary yellow paper vampire-tag, culturally are included.) mean anything to you???
Last but not least, let DITA add that the visual sights of China, as their are many, are horrifically stunning and some cool martial arts moves are used, although not enough for my taste. Night club camera shots of vamps dancing is also included!
Only minor low point on this film are the bad edits and
transitions which tend to be 'choppy & abrupt', although reminiscent of 'Ed
Woods' editing skills or lack there-of. I'm just sayin', hon!'
Also the actor who plays 'vampire-cop-groom' is handsome, but not as sexy as my 'B.J.' 'Aaaah!' DITA must say, there is something to be said for a BIG, BLACK.............................................cape and a matching 'G-string' ('Magic-Mike Style.) that just MAKES the man, uh, I mean, that just makes a Vamp, more appealing to his 'Skeleton-Bride' on their Honey-Moon, uh, 'VAMPIRE-HONEYMOON' that is!!!
As for the other 'Asian-Vamp Fright-Fick' included on this very-cool 'double-feature ''Terror Tales' DVD, simply entitled, 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' Oh, before I forget, there are no 'EXTRAS' included on either film except 'scene selection'.
'V.H'.is spoken in Chinese but Subtitled in English. 'N.V.B.' is over-dubbed in 'English' and spoken in 'Chinese' which ends up making it 'campy-fun' 'BECAUSE' of the 'English-dubbing'! 'Love it!" That's why DITA refers to these films as 'Spaghetti-Horror' Films. You know, done quick & cheap but still end up being 'guilty-pleasure' enjoyable!
'Ninja Vampire Busters' is a very short but fun 'horror/martial-arts-hopping-to-person-to-person-vampire-possesion-exorsism' flick which even includes a 'young-girl-child' in a flannel nighty catching the vampire bug, where upon fun-chase scenes, martial-arts and cool Asian horror & hilarity ensues. Somewhat borrowing a piece right out of 'The Exorcist' & 'The Devil Within Her'!
Wow! I just managed a 'Linda Blair & Joan Collins Horror Movies' Reference!' Kudos' 4 me!
'Ninja Vampire Busters' was enjoyed by DITA just a tad more than ''V.H.' but make no mistake that both films are fright-fully fun and should be watched in the dark with 'YOUR' significant other, some left-over 'Wedding-Cake' and maybe a bottle of 'Spider-Bubbly' or as my Vamp-Hubby 'B.J.' suggests 'RED'-Wine, 'BLOOD'-Red, of course!
DITA gives 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' 2 and a half SKULLS out of 3 and 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' a 3 SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS perfect score!!! Loved it! Oh by the way, a special shout out to Robin Hershey and DITA's 'wiccan' Cousin-Angela! 'Blessed-Be Cuz! We are truly 'wickedly-blessed!
Enjoy this Double-Feature from 'Terror Tales'!
Speaking of 'Double-features' I gotta go slip mine into my
'honey-moon 'Nighty in Black, as seen in DITA's Pic accompanying my Review
tonight! Also Check out this Wedding/Bridal Themed Horror-Comedy DITA may be
Reviewing in the future called; 'HAUNTED HONEYMOON', By Clicking here, Babe>
'Until Next week when DITA brings you the Independence Day Holiday-Fright Flick; 'UNCLE SAM'; I WANT YOU DEAD!' to All who visit me here in 'DITA's DEN',
DITA ('TAKE IT LIKE A MAN')
Simply Click here 2 listen 2 a mix from CHER; TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, which is what I did to B.J. on our Wedding night ,Dear> https://youtu.be/lICgKpSscQU
p.s. Scare Mail; DDN1965@LIVE.COM
Check out the 'way-cool' DVD Box Cover-ART for 'Terror Tales'! DITA thinks it would make great a T-Shirt or Large-Size Poster
As always, Check out these DITA-Suggested site to web-surf, as follows;
www.electricduskdrivein.com (LA. ,CA. DITA Like-y!!!)
www.shoutfactory.com (DITA says; Great Selection of DVD-Collections, especially Vintage TV Shows on DVD!)
www.somethingweird.com Hexcellant CULT Movies on DVD, says DITA!!!)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (DITA suggests Listen to DUG GRAVES HORROR RADIO SHOW Every Friday Night, Hon!)
© D. Dyszel 2020
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor