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'MINI-Reviews' of CHERYL 'RAINBEAUX' SMITH;
'MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH',
'THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN',
'PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE',
'FANTASAM COMES AGAIN'
ALL Starring; RAINBEAUX SMITH!
Yes, it's me, your Horror/Cult Hostess; DITA DIRT NAP, and I'm back from my Dead, umm, I mean back again w/Mini-Reviews of; DRIVE-IN DIVA'; CHERYL 'RAINBEAUX' SMITH's Cult-Flicks that she had small parts in. These of course fall in the Horror & Cult genres. Mind you sum of these are going to be very Short but definitely worth a Look, Hon!
Cheryl 'Rainbeaux Smith in a High School Horror Flick called; 'MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH' aka 'BLACKBOARD MASSACRE' aka 'SEXY-JEANS'. This is where Cheryl's Character plays a School girl who might be a Lesbian or a swinging Bisexual that almost gets raped by the Bullies w/her Girl friend but is saved by the rebellious new guy and later the Hero of the school, only later to turn evil after the School-bullies knock over a buddies Car he wuz working on. Whew!
RAINBEAUX character who near the end of the film becomes handy w/dynamite and gets knocked-off, right after her Nude scene going into a Tent for a three-some w/a girl and a boy fellow bombers. Good film, a little silly in parts but worth watching for the storyline of the New-Kids Revenge on the Bullies that once ran the school. Lots of killings but DITA assures you, not a single gun in sight or any shootings. DITA liked the story, Cast and pace and gives it 3 Skulls Out of 3 Skulls perfect score. Only gripe is the god-awful Soundtrack of unfitting to the Film 70's Music. Just doesn't fit the film, much like 'BLACKENSTEIN'S Musical score wuz a bad fit back in Feb. that DITA Reviewed, my little Spider-Bites! To get your obscure Copy of this Film, just Click on the 'DVD-Icon' next to Dear OLD DITA's Review tonight. Click Here to see the Cultastic-Trailer> https://youtu.be/WG1zSLNbpvw
Now with w/'THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN' which is a fun Sci-Fi Monster Flick that has received the 'MSTK'-Treatment. This film is so bad it's good & fun! It's from MGM and has a Astronaut who gets zapped in space by the Sun somewhere very near the rings of Saturn and returns to Earth burned and escapes from the Hospital as he starts to Melt. You know like bloody, gooey flesh just starts to drip slowly off of him. He has to feed on humans now of course and starts with a unsuspecting Fisherman down by a lake in the woods near the Hospital. Any-Boo, he continues to kill thru-out the Film until they ......??? As u know DITA never likes to tell the whole story.
DITA will tell you where Cheryl's small part comes in. In those same woods, for some reason, Rainbeaux's Character is Modeling for an Outdoor Photo shoot. She looks great posing for the Camera, until the Photographer tells her to take her blouse off. She tells him she wasn't told that there would be Nudity involved on this particular Shoot in-the-woods. The Sleazy Photog' gets annoyed and just reaches over, pulls down her High-Fashion Tube-top, to reveal her 'fun-bags'. She protests and calls him a jerk or something, but he continues to grab and Click, grab and Click until Cheryl's Model character gets into a shoving, groping fight and backs up right into the Dead Fisherman's hand around her lovely ankle. She sees his headless, dead-body laying on the ground in the woods and does a great Horror-Movie Scream. To see Cheryl's scene of exactly that, Click here> ( Cheryl's Scene starts around the 3;14 Mark.) http://youtu.be/l6Sqppzmopo
Now DITA likes this Movie and suggests it for viewing and gives it 3 Skulls, my perfect score!!! Also look for a fun horror-victim scene w/Melting-Man's Nurse trying to run away screaming bloody-murder all the way.
DITA Like-y! To get your own Copy, simply Click on the 'DVD-Icon' of 'THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN' to the Left of Dear old DITA's Review.
Next is 'PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE' ,which is a Cult Horror-Comedy about a Music-Mogul who under handily rips off a budding Singer/Song writer, then Maims him, then befriends him, tricks him into writing a Rock-Opera that he promises he will star in w/the Female Lead. What happens next, you may ask? Well, he quietly bricks up the door to the Studio he is working in, and leaves him to die, Silly! The PHANTOM manages to escape out of the bricked-up studio and then plots to start planning various dangerous/deadly accidents and Stage problems start happening around the 'PARADISE' Theater thru-out the Production of his stolen Rock-Opera.
RAINBEAUX has a very small part in this Cult 'Horror-Comedy-Musical as one of the Mad Music-Mogul's Groupies that he Auditions for the afore mentioned production. Here's how the so-called Auditions are held. Actress's are lead into a large room with a rotating bed w/cameras everywhere and are told to make-out w/and play around w/each other, so he can get off via Big-Brother closed-circuit television. Long story short, this a another so bad it's good film that has garnered quite a Cult-following over the years. It Stars PAUL WILLIAMS, and wuz Directed by; BRAIN DEPALMA and has one hell of a Soundtrack! DITA gives it a score of 2 1/2 Skulls Out of 3. You can see the Trailer, by Clicking here> http://youtu.be/2n5qVJEg3qA You can also get a Copy of this Culty-Horror Comedy by Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' of it to your Left, Dear!
Now on to Cheryl's Part in; 'FANTASM COMES AGAIN'. A straight up 70's Sex-Cult Comedy that has various & very sexual 'Vin-yettes'. One being a woman who acts out her sexual-fantasy of going to confession, then confessing to who she thinks is a Priest, but turns out to be a hired painter for the Church, that took a nap in the confessional til she came in and tells her sordid sexual fantasy. Long story shorter, the Painter & Repair Man tells her to go into the back room, turn around, bend over and wait for him to come, as it were. While in the process, the real Priest walks in on them without them noticing and decides to stay and observe a truly religious experience. LMOL! A Girl after my own little 'Black-Heart', thinks DITA!
That's not even the Storyline 'Vin-yet', w/Cheryl 'Rainbeaux'
Smith's Character. RAINBEAUX plays a girl who goes to DITA's Favorite place, the
Drive-In, with her overly Horny Boyfriend and his buddy and his date in their
Car at the afore mentioned Drive-In. His buddy and his Girl start some
heavy-petting in the back-seat, which inspires Cheryl's Characters date to try
and fool around w/her. She doesn't like it, and likes the fact even less when
her dates buddy & girlfriend start trying to feel both of them up from the back
seat. Chery's/Drive-In Girl, uh, who actually wants to watch the movie , gets
annoyed and goes for Popcorn at the Concession-stand. She gets her Popcorn
quickly and starts to head back to their Car but is suddenly grabbed by a
way-overly horny guy at the Drive-In in a sleazy 70's Van. He pulls her in,
popcorn and all, conversates aggressively w/her, she gets mad and he whips her
clothes off and does her , legs up in the Van, without her consent. She then
changes her mind quickly about being a prude earlier and jumps down on the floor
of the Van for more, 'but' he throws her out, keeps her popcorn as she shakes it
off and continues on back to her Boyfriend and Company back at the Car. The
other stories fair well too as they are being told to the Viewer by a 'Sex
Column Boss' and his Secretary, trying to pick out the best stories to print,
uh, as they work late at the office and drink alcohol. Hmmm? One of the
stories that DITA liked wuz about a Nerdy-man who gets stuck in an Elevator,
w/Two horn-dog Ladies , that have never experienced a quickie with a Nerd before
and decide they should try. Very Funny CULT-Flick and very sexual!
DITA gives it 2 and 1/2 SKULLS, Out of 3 and loved Cheryl's scene the BEST! Please get your own Culty-Sexy 70's Copy on DVD for your very own from 'Synapse-Films' by Clicking on the 'DVD-Icon' to the Left of this Groovy, steamy-review! Also Click Here, Hon> https://youtu.be/FYbiH76d7pA
Well, that's it for this week, my little 'Coffin-Creepers!'
Until then, I wish you
'VACCINATED CHAINSAW-KISSES with a 'Booster Shot',
DITA ('SUPER-STAR') DIRT NAP
(To hear that exact Song; 'SUPER-STAR' By MADONNA, that describes my 'DRIVE-IN DIVA'; RAINBEAUX SMITH, Click here> https://youtu.be/5yaoK97awzc)
Contact me at; DDN1965@LIVE.COM
As usual check out the following DITA-Suggested sites as follows;
www.shoutfactory.com (DITA Like-y!)
www.somethingweird.com (Great CULT-DVD Selection says DITA!)
www.elvira.com (CHECK OUT ELVIRA'S NEW MERCH. for SEPTEMBER and her UPCOMING AUTOBIOGRAPHY Coming Out Later this Month of her BIG 7-0 Birthday, Hon!)
www.madonna.com (See what she's up to lately after turning 63 Years Young last Month!)
www.mymoviemonsters.com ("SCARY MONSTERS MAGAZINE!")
www.thenewbev.com (DITA & RENFIELD's Hollyweird-Haunt!)
www.outonthemountain.com (Get your Tickets quick, Hon for LA's ;'GAY NIGHT' @ SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN Coming up S-O-O-N On 9/17/21 @ 6 p.m. DITA has her ticket already and can't wait!)
www.radiohalloween.com Radio Halloween plays best Halloween music and stories all day, all night, & all year! Choose top Halloween songs, scary stories, or old time radio horror.
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune into DUG GRAVES RADIO-HORROR SHOW Every Friday Night, Hon!)
Directed By; Larry Stouffer
Produced By; 'Jamison Film Company'
'Crown International Pictures'
Starring; AUSTIN STOKER ('ABBEY', 'ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13', etc.),
PAT CARDI, Rose Holotik, 'Mean' Joe Greene, John Niland,
Joyce Hash, Jeff Alexander, etc.
1975 CODE RED DVD & Streaming Services
Well My Little 'Labor-Day', 'Spider-Bites',
This Month of September, I, DITA DIRT NAP, go 'Back-2-School' for Fall with this 70's 'Drive-In' Fright Flick that has developed a devoted 'Cult-Following' over the years and is finally on DVD, 'UNCUT FOR THE FIRST TIME' this week and a 2nd 'BACK-TO-SCHOOL' for Fall 'Double-Feature' Next Week' of; 'MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH' , starring 'DITA-Fave'; RAINBEAUX SMITH! Where is this hot Undead, Milf-y, Student Body Attending faux School this fall you may ask, this week??? Why, 'HORROR HIGH', silly! Uh, it also happens to be our first of a 'Double-FEATURE', 'Feature-Presentation' this 'Labor Day Holiday Weekend' here at the 'HORROR/CULT DRIVE-IN' in 'DITA's DEN'!'
ATTENTION; DRIVE-IN PATRON'S- 'Stop trying to unhook your dates 'wonder-bra's', just long enough to take a look at the 'Groovy' Trailer from 1975 of 'HORROR HIGH', Now Playing on our/your Computer/Drive-In Screen; (Click here- https://youtu.be/U7R-e6CewqE ) Don't cha' just love it? ( DITA wonders why nerds in these Movies never have good eye sight and always make poor choices in 'eye wear' fashion'? Hmmmmm???)
Any-boo this the 35th Anniversary Edition DVD of this fun fright
film, by the way fellow students! The DVD Box Cover states; 'THERE IS
SOMETHING EVIL OUT THERE......POSSESSED BY A FORCE THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO THIS
WORLD - AND IT'S GOING TO KILL!'
Before DITA gets started on the Storyline, why don't you show your 'GHOUL-SPIRIT' by getting yourself one of these 'GORE-juss' Movie Posters 11 x 14 of 'HORROR HIGH' Simply by Clicking on the 'POSTER-Icon' next to my Review 2-night'.
Our Story starts out with character of VERNON, played wonderfully by Actor; PAT CARDI, being a loner Science-Lab Assistant who's been experimenting on his pet lab ginny-pig, trying to find a formula that change the DNA physically. Hmmmm? Sound familiar Kids? It should, cuz, a hint is given when in one of Vernon's Classes, which is the opening of the Movie , they are seen watching, for assignment ,'DUN,DUN,DUN',....................................................... 'DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE'! And you thought they were learning about what Dear? 'BIPOLARISM 101, perhaps? LOL!
You see, DITA thinks this is a story most of us who love HORROR & FANTASY Films can easily relate to. For one, the Character of Vernon is really smart, but doesn't fit in at school w/the what DITA terms the 'TOP 40' general, run-of-the-mill, below average intelligence Crowd! You see, we've all been VERNON, at one time in our lives or another. Whether it wuz not fitting in, being too smart, not having the strong 'social-skills' to survive very well, those trying times of high school for most of us were made, well a real living hell, or better yet a real; Horror-High! So we like Vernon, felt like or related to Monsters in Horror Films, or maybe at the real life 'Horror-High', felt like the 'Invisiable-Man' at the unavoidable assigned seats at the Lunch table in the dreaded and/or feared Cafeteria w/food that wuz truly scary!!! With a Capitol 'S', hon!
Whether you felt like the 'Hunch back of Notre Dame' w/no
Esmerelda in sight or a real life Ghost that really couldn't be
seen......................at all, by anyone, so u thought! Cuz there wuz
that creepy Janitor that you couldn't tell if he wuz flirting w/you or just had
a 'wonky'-eye. DITA's point is that we are attracted to the 'Horror &
Fantasy' Genre's for exactly these reasons and more. So what DIRT NAP's
trying to say is 'WINK-WINK' is, don't end up like Vernon in this Movie who I
don't have to tell u goes on a 'Killing-Spree' ala Dr. Jekyll & Mr Hyde and pays
for it! What DITA means is whatever makes you who you are, whatever makes
you unique, in my case, a 'BOOT-TI-FULL NIGHTMARE OF WONDERFUL WEIRDNESS', (how
do u think I caught 'B.J'., got him to put a ring on it, and stay for almost 32
years coming in Feb. of 2022 , Dear??? It 'wuzn't' cuz DITA's a run a the mill
conservative girl-ghoul, babe!), what ever makes you, 'YOU', PLEASE FOR PETE'S
SAKE, 'EMBRACE IT, TEN FOLD, Hon!!! That's applies to 'Bug-Eaters' as well!
(Hint, Hint RENFIELD. LOL!) DITA's thought has always been that 'WE' are
the 'GIFT GIVERS' of UNIQUE-NESS' to the world and ourselves more importantly.
'THE REST' as my 'MUMMY-DIRT NAP' used to say; 'Just serves the
purpose.....................of only existing.
DITA puts away her soap-box behind the Consession Stand here at the 'Drive-In' and goes on with the storyline of this Grindhouse-ish Horror Film. Vernon, doesn't fit in but finds comfort in science, the hamster and a big, dumb jock's girlfriend played by Actress; Rosie Holotik. Too make a long story shorter, he stumbles across by accident of course a potion that turns him into a Killer, uh, with a weird walk, um or ill-fitting shoes. Note; bad make-up for transformation into this evil character. DITA thinks almost laughable make up job. Before discovering this potion, Vernon has been harrassed by fellow classmates, teased, has one Teacher who's a total BITCH, and a creepy cat-loving janitor who just wouldn't leave poor Vernon alone.
Well, you know what usually happens to long-term abusers, hon!
Once Vernon starts drinking the potion like a 'six-pack' ........a hell breaks loose and the killings begin at 'Horror High!' Once they do start a Cop is assigned to the case to catch the Killer. He's played like a Bloodhound by well-known Genre Actor; AUSTIN STOKER who wuz in 'ABBY' (The Black Excorsist) which DITA Reviewed here in the 'DEN' and the Cult-Films 'ASSULT ON PRECINCT 13' & 'ZEBRA KILLER'. This Cop sniffs Vernon's ass like he's attached to it. Hmmmmmm? Eventually there's a show-down & a reveal towards the end of the picture that takes place at 'Horror High' w/the Girl who likes Vernon/Love Interest now and then he tries to tell her that he's really.............that he's really............................but then he turns into you know who and then the Cop arrives and the Girl's Dumb Jock ex Boyfriend and they............and he...........and then...........................................???
Well , you know 'DITA' usually doesn't like to tell the whole Story, here are the 'THINGS-2-LOOK-4 -LIST' instead as follows;
* Scene w/Janitor Killing something???
*Scene w/some one that likes cats & mops getting their 'come-uppance' ala acid.
* Scene w/Hell/Bitch Teacher getting her long-over due 'come-uppance' right on the 'CUTTING-EDGE' of horror in a dark classroom
just before she's about to Screen 'DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE' the 2nd half. (DITA loves this scene the Best!)
* Scene where Gym Teacher gets a Blood-letting, then just hangs around the gym...............by a rope, 'UPSIDE-DOWN'! (Not by; Diana Ross, babe!)
*Scene w/big dumb jock receiving 'Poetic-Justice' Horror Movie Style by ???
Now for the 'EXTRAS' on this '35 Anniversary Edition DVD' its now the 41rst Anniversary of this film in 2021, witch include;
+ Brand New 16 X 19 Transfer Mastered in Hi-Def from the Original Negatives from Crown International's Vault. ( Love that they went the Extra-Mile , and it shows when you watch it. Great job, guys!!!)
+ On Camera Interview w/Lead Star AUSTIN STOKER. (DITA recommends watching this one. Nice job. Thanks for including this fellas!!!)
+ Bonus Footage Shot for TV on the 'TWISTED BRIAN' Release. ( Worth a look-see.)
+ Comedy Commentary w/TV's 'BEAT THE GEEKS' J. Keith Van Straaten, Marc Edward Heuck and Paul Goebele. ( Funny stuff.)
+ Original Theatrical Trailer ( Thank Goodness or Badness for small favors! DITA thinks these should be MANDATORY on all DVD Releases!)
+ Code Red Trailers (Fun, fun , fun! DITA Highly recommends watched these great Vintage Drive-In Goodies like 'SLITHIS' & Much, more!
Love this DVD Company!!!! Check them out at; www.codereddvd.com )
DITA recomends this movie and enjoyed watching this mid 70's fare remastered on this 35th Anniversary DVD and gives it 2 1/2 SKULLS Out of Almost a 3 Skulls Perfect Score for 'HORROR HIGH'!!!
Go back to school this fall either via computer at home or if attending physically back to school, for god's sake get vaccinnated/boostered and wear a Mask, Kids! So click on the 'DVD-Icon' of 'HORROR HIGH' next to Dear old DITA's Review this September Weekend!
'R-I-N-G, 'R-I-N-G'! Is that School-Bell I hear, kids?
Dismissing this 'DRIVE-IN' from Class @ 'Horror-High' tonight.
'W-A-I-T A MINUTE! 'W-H-E-R-E DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING??? Hmmmmm?
'Turn the car lights back off!
Put those speakers back on your car windows!
Miss DITA did not say Class wuz dismissed!
Just for that un-holy behavior, you now have to stay after Class and watch the 'Drive-In Rules'...........'All eyes on the 'Drive-In Screen' in front of you and eyes on your own paper, uh-hem, I mean watch this;
Click here, if you know what's good for ya- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9-4K74NVvw
Okay, good, Miss DITA didn't have to take out my ruler for wacking knuckles! Hopefully you've Learned something Tonight here in 'DITA's DEN' w/'Horror High' about simply embracing who you are instead of cutting down the 'individualistic-genius' that lives in each of us as 'Horror-Fans' and the Ones who bring it to Us!!! For Most of Us, who Truly love this Genre...................................., as Count Gore once said; 'EVERY OTHER DAY ('TRULY') IS HALLOWEEN'!!!(Still available on DVD, KIDS!) AMEN, Brother! '
Everyone have a safe and horror-rific 'LABOR-DAY' Weekend!!!
Until Next Time when I Bring you; 'MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH', 'Vacinated w/Booster, Surgical-Mask Kisses',
DITA ('HOT 4 TEACHER) DIRT NAP
(Too see that Fitting Big-80's Video By; VAN HALEN click here> https://youtu.be/6M4_Ommfvv0
P.S. Shout-Out to DITA's Buddy; 'RENFIELD'! 'SUP!'
As always web-surf these DITA-Suggested Sites;
www.electricduskdrivein.com (DITA LIKE-Y!)
www.mymoviemonsters.com ("Scary Monsters Magazine!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (L.A., CA.)
www.shoutfactory.com (Cool DVD Selection as well , Kids.)
www.elvira.com (ELVIRA's New Autobiography Comes out on her 70TH-Birhtday later this month! DON'T MISS IT! Or better yet order your Copy now from her website or Amazon.com N-O-W!)
www.sixflags.com (Here in LA, CA. Six Flags Magic Mountain Will Be having their Annual 'GAY-NIGHT' ' w/their Event; 'OUT ON THE MOUNTAIN' for the 'Gay-Community'. Masks must be worn upon Entry into the park, Hon! Also possible Temperature Checks and maybe 'vaccination proof' to be brought! DITA CAN'T WAIT!')
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Tune in to 'DUG GRAVES RADIO-HORROR SHOW' Every Friday Night, Hon!!!)
'THIS REVIEW 'DEAD-ICATED' TO MY GOOD FRIEND IN HORROR; 'RENFIELD!'
© D. Dyszel 2021
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor